There are always exceptions to any generalization and YOURS is among them.
I've seen dramas where a brother-in-law finds his bhabi attractive. Now, you can argue that a drama is a drama and not real life. BUT.......often times movies and dramas are based on reality or events that have the potential to take place in REAL LIFE.
Not too long ago I read a thread on GS about two sisters who were going to be engaged to two cousins who were brothers. The problem was that both sisters liked the match that the OTHER had........or something along those lines. And had the marriage taken place.............then you would have had a situation where the devar has a crush on his bhabi.
There are even stories of pervy fathers-in-law who look at their bahus with a gandi nazar.
Not too long ago..........a member created a thread where she posted that she felt distressed about how her husband would flirt with HIS BHABI. So IT IS possible for a man to be attracted to his sister-in-law. IT IS possible for a MARRIED MAN to be attracted to his sister-in-law.
Am I justifying these disturbing scenarios????? NO, I'm not. But you have said that it is ONLY women who could crush on their brothers-in-law. You have completely exempted men from the possibilty of having any romantic feelings AND you have also exempted men from accountability.
Now if YOUR thread and generalization is meant as a JOKE...........then fine.
However the problem with YOUR generalization is that it puts ALL the blame on the woman. And such thinking is very dangerous. What about women who are raped. Would you argue that the man who raped her is innocent and that she is to blame because she came on to him.......flirted with him.......was too attractive for him to handle??????????? There ARE such men who hold such beliefs "Oh she deserved it. She came on to me." Such thinking prevents women from getting justice.
So.........in all fairness...........feelings are complex........sometimes they develop first in the woman.........sometimes in the guy. The important thing is to try and control those feelings. There are many stories where people KNOW they can't be with someone they find attractive so they try to control their emotions. As long as one is trying to stay within their limits.........that's what matters most.
Remember those crazy episodes from The Bold & The Beautiful where father n two sons kept marrying same lady one after n other n she just happily rolled like a bouncing ball. being younger brother's wife she fancied older bro, then got married to older one, left him. then got married to his dad to stay close by ,still secretly fancing the same older bro n his step son. left dad to marry stepson again. lol crazy, crazy, i stopped watching that series forever.