You raise some interesting points. As I mentioned earlier, my fiance’s family is less conservative than my own. My fiance did grow up with having an older sister that has no problem wearing shorts, short skirts, and sleeveless things around the house (and outside the house). His mom is obvi more modest than that but also wears sleeveless. It’s like he has become desensitized tho. In my opinion, when you are not exposed to something it is natural to become more curious about it. Since he was, he never really cared to to wonder about what girl’s legs look like or grew up checking out goris once he hit highschool and college. He was just like eh whatever. And just because he grew up in a “less modest” household … doesn’t mean he doesn’t think women shouldnt be dressed modesty and bodies shouldn’t be respected. He does think this way but he also believes “to each their own”. Who is he to dictate how one should dress - that is what he always says. He tells me that he will only have an opinion and rules once he has daughters of his own. LOL. He respects the fact that me and my family are more modest.
I think growing up in a household like that only made him more tolerant and less judgmental of an individual. He is one of the few Pakistani guys I have encountered that doesn’t judge a book by its cover immediately. Which I am a fan of. I wish more people were like this in our community… I wish even I was a bit more like this. I am guilty of it too at times.
And the whole siblings not being too close because it can lead to incest… EWE. But makes sense to me why it is common to find a huge separation between males and female family members in Pakistan and even here in the west sometimes. In Pakistan it makes me wonder…mabey because it is because of this siblings should not be close thing and the subsequent separation… that guys get so curious about random females on the street and have that NASTY STARING PROBLEM. Like they are not exposed to it at all in their own homes and lives so it is that whole “curiousity kills the cat” argument. And that is why they act like they have never seen a girl before!!! And make the females of Pakistan uncomfortable …even if they are completely covered up with a chador and everything??? Something to think about it. Because I have never felt uncomfortable here in the west… no staring issues… even tho “goray guys are immoral beasts”. They are so used to looking at females and skin … that they are de-sensitized to it and don’t feel the need to check out every chick on the street and give her the eyeball. Especially one that is more “conservative” by western standards.
Pakistani guys in Pakistan… aka our fellow muslims… that is another story. Completely dressed in a baggier shalwaar kameez with my hair and chest area covered by a chador, wearing simple flat sandals and no makeup … and I feel like I am wearing a tube top, stripper heels, and mini skirt by the way guys stare at you over there. :shudders: