Q.Why god invented shopping carts?
A. so the women can walk in an upright position.
LOL! Nice one!
Have you ever noticed how older women bent over onto the steering wheel while driving in pakistan, it really get's me going when I'm driving!
[This message has been edited by prince_x (edited October 15, 2000).]
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'kay in rebuttal mischevious smile
-
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy. -
What’s the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
Put the remote control between his toes. -
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell. -
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract. -
How are husbands like lawn mowers? They’re hard to get started,
they emit noxious odours, and half the time they don’t work. -
How do men define a “50/50” relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean - they dirty; we iron - they wrinkle. -
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. -
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes. -
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve
around him. -
What’s a man’s idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name. -
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath
and calling your name?
You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.
-
What’s the smartest thing a man can say?
“My wife says…” -
Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
So men can understand them. -
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts. -
Why do men play sports on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing. -
Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened. -
Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilise one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions. -
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
When it’s time to go back to his childhood, he’s already there.
Who thought of writing all these jokes mentioned by GFQ,
David hudson (USA), a man.
smiles Najim...that just makes guys look even worse...
Go GFQ!! You tell em, I have a few more:
**
How do you know when a man is about to say something clever?**
He starts his sentence with “My girlfriend/wife says…”
**
What do you call a man with half a brain?**
Gifted
Whats the difference between a man and ET?
ET phoned home
Mariah and Girl from Quraysh…ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT…WELL THAT CERTAINLY SHUT THESE GUYS UP FOR SURE! AND GIRL…LOVED THE FACTS THAT U PULLED OUT! BRILLIANT!
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Yours sincerely and admirably and lovingly
Mariah and GFQ,
that was sooooo funny.
I enjoyed reading those facts..........
"Et phoned home".....hilarious.
hmmmmmm.. huh?!! so y r u all laughing??..
i,m confused…
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koi mujhe samjhaye warnaaa.. u all know kaka,dandaa maar kai sarr torr doon ga sab kaa!
hmmmmmmmmmm…
ok girls, admit it, we men r coool, hain naa, if it wasnt for uss u wudnt b laughing, hehehhee.
fly like a bee, sting a like a butterfly.
here it comes again ladies…
1.
“Yesterday scientists in the USA revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, they fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn’t drive…”
Why did the woman cross the road?
That’s not the point,what’s she doing out of the kitchen?
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
to be continued…
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There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can’t.
[This message has been edited by lethal (edited October 26, 2000).]
that was very lethal, indeed.
bad n sad
Q. What do you call a woman who has lost 90% of her intelligence?
A. Divorced.
Q. Why are there less blonde jokes than before?
A. Men just found out ALL women are dumb.
Two guys were talking.
The first one said, "I would like to see a woman dentist."
"Why so?" asked his friend.
"Because it would be a pleasure to have a woman say, 'open your mouth' instead of 'shut up.'"
How come only forty percent of women go to heaven?
Because if they all went it would be hell.
OH God...u guys are so so funny its unbelievable!........(Im being sarcy...if u didnt work it out) !!!!!!!
Yours sincerely and admirably and lovingly
[quote]
Originally posted by kurri:
**OH God...u guys are so so funny its unbelievable!........(Im being sarcy...if u didnt work it out) !!!!!!!
**
[/quote]
Ah yes - good old sarcasm :). If you are able to understand or as you put it 'work it out', I recommend you watch any of the following prgrams - 'Black Adder', 'Fawlty Towers', 'Cheers'. I am sure you will enjoy them.
[quote]
Originally posted by 2bornot2b:
** Ah yes - good old sarcasm :). If you are able to understand or as you put it 'work it out', I recommend you watch any of the following prgrams - 'Black Adder', 'Fawlty Towers', 'Cheers'. I am sure you will enjoy them.
**
[/quote]
yes actually i have watched them...but I recommend YOU watch 'men behaving badly' even 'Goodness Gracious ME'...and im certain u will enjoy these!
[This message has been edited by kurri (edited October 27, 2000).]
[quote]
Originally posted by kurri:
**
yes actually i have watched them...but I recommend YOU watch 'men behaving badly' even 'Goodness Gracious ME'...and im certain u will enjoy these!
[This message has been edited by kurri (edited October 27, 2000).]**
[/quote]
Oh Yes - How could I forget to mention these bastions of good taste :)
im glad we see eye to eye on this 2bornot2b! but thats as far as it will go!
Yours sincerely and admirably and lovingly