Woman as Mother Verses Wife

As a mother: They carry the baby (specifically about boys) as part of their body for 9 months and then they bring them to this world through a very painful process. Then they take of babies, love them. Sacrifice their day and night to up bring the child to the utmost possibility. Do their best and they do it in the same way for almost every child.
The kid is adult now…educated, strong & Young. Mother is old now. She wants her son to get married.
He gets married…and then the girl who come to this guys life she mostly have issues with this or that.

****(AS A WIFE)

She has issues with sisters of the husband
with the Father of husband
with mother of husband
with every one who might be sharing benefits (emotional, physical (not OPP gender related , materialistic) of that person.

She will stop talking/protest on anything which goes against her will/wish
She might leave the husband if she finds out him being shared with another woman.

Briefly, This SIDE of Woman want to POSSES all in no time. Without any extra stake holder.

About being shared with an other woman they say “because we love our husband we cant share”

Mothers love their sons too, they can say the same???

**Woman as a mother never thinks of leaving the kidz…no matter what. when she DOES NOT expect anything in return.

Woman as a wife will think many time ( there are times in every married life specially in start) when they MAY think of leaving the husband.
**

Point is if it is love… love is unconditional !

Mother is a woman so is the wife.

Mother raises the child with all her love and puts up all her efforts and then HAND OVER it to an OTHER woman .

The OTHER woman wants HIM & That too ALL… they call it being possessive or love.

“Yea maaiyon ka itna jigra hota hay k wo apney jisam k hisay ko itna barra kar k aik aur aurat k hiwalay akr deti hay aur phir bhi ziada tar koi umeed nahi rakhti ya rakhay bhi to pura na honay k bawajood uss ke mohabbat main kami nahi aati.”

             OR

“Yea bewiyaan itni tangdil aur kameeni hoti hain k wo mohabbat aur shuahar k naam per aik mard ko sirf apna he dekhna chahti hain. agar yea mohabbat hoti hay to yea “unconditional” kyon nahi hoti. aur waqi yea mohabbat hoti hay to phir yea khatam bhi kyon ho jati hai. even after kidz.”

p:S ( i am not comparing relationaship between Saas and Bahu, i am comparing relationship with A MAN of his wife & his mother. Secondly i dont understand this myth of love of woman. i am a girl my self but i dont understand this) :konfused:

Re: Woman as Mother Verses Wife

Being a women, i am gonna be a wife and a mother one day (InshaAllah). But i have absolutely no calms in admitting that as a wife i shall be second priority for my husband always and it's ok. As a mother i get to be the first ;).

I would infact be very concerned if my husband started prefering me over his mother unless ofcourse his parents are awful which i believe most are not. That would really make me doubt him as a person; his values and beliefs.

Re: Woman as Mother Verses Wife

shugali...the whole idea of comparing wife and mother is so stupid and pathetic.

does a son hit his mom ? husbands (many of them) hit their wives !

There are so many examples like above but really don't want to get into details. The best thing is that dont get ur sons married ......na hogi wife na hoga problem.

Re: Woman as Mother Verses Wife

Agree.. Why the need to have some sort of ‘competition’ between the mother and wife, most girls of our generation don’t even see it that way (I hope :D).. I see both sides cos my SIL is living with us at the moment and the truth is 9 times out of 10 it is my mum stirring it and making snide comments or getting upset over throwaway comments my brother makes eg. if he compliments his MIL’s cooking she will say ‘what about mine? Do u love her mother more than me??’ :smack:

Btw op most mothers aren’t all that ‘old’ or helpless when their sons get married, it’s funny prior to that they’re usually managing just fine..

Re: Woman as Mother Verses Wife

Hmmm YES! Welcome to the horrible but real word. Maybe you need to watch that mother's day special show Sahir lodhi did dedicated to such mothers. Anyways,....

Well i don't know what generation yours is lolz but i know all the girls in their 20's take their MILS as competiton. Not saying that mils are angels either infact i agree with your rest of the post that in alot of cases mils stir things up for such negative feelings to occur in their dil.

Re: Woman as Mother Verses Wife

:k:

Re: Woman as Mother Verses Wife

why don't we make the same comparisons for girls and their mothers.

now you see how stupid this argument/comparison is?

Re: Woman as Mother Verses Wife

:k:

WHY would anyone compare themselves to his mother? Who wants to be viewed as their husband’s mommy? barf

The other thing is…these arguments usually come up when the guy is too weak to balance his parents and wife/kids.

BRAVOOOOO! ENCORE! ENCORE!

The thing is shugali…

Boys take a lot of work to raise and girls just raise themselves you know. When a baby girl is born, she feeds herself, changes her own diapers and even pays for her own college education that Allah swt sends for them in a magical envelope. Parents never have a pay a red cent for their baby girls.

But BABY BOYS…oh my gosh…its THEM that take the work. Yeah, and since mothers work so hard before getting pregnant to ensure they have baby boys, they deserve to be exalted and revered above all. I mean, its not like Allah swt decides who will have what gender baby, its all decided by us mortals so the mother of a baby boy deserves MUCH MUCH MUCH more respect than anyone else in the entire world.

I hope I have captured the essence of your post shugali. You truly are a blessing to us women who need to know how much more respect a son’s mother deserves than that of a mere girl. Us girls need to stick together you know…gotta teach each other how much harder a son’s mother has it in this world.

When I get married, I want to be just like you shugali!

Re: Woman as Mother Verses Wife

Fact: Mothers are not angels, they are human and as every human their love is conditional.
Fact: Each relationship have its own set of boundaries and rules. Can't really comapre one to another.
Fact: Daughters are given birth the same way/ deserve the same love but rarely we see son in law and mother in law fighting with each other.

Re: Woman as Mother Verses Wife

:smack:

ufffff yea aurtien :2guns:

baari baari aao sub :2guns:

My topic is not about feeling proud of being mother of a SON for heaven’s sake.And for all of you who wants me to think other way round i wud have surely done that if in our cultutre rukhasati larki ke bajaiay larkey ke hoti. Secondly majority of our ppl give so much respect to damaad and since boy doesnt have to live with girls parents so comparison will be useless. :emmy:

love is always UNconditional and if its not unconditional its not love :snooty:

Re: Woman as Mother Verses Wife

Wife wil remain second priority , Mums always com first but wife too second to none..ubu ko kasai samajiennn u larka hoti tou shaid samaj aa jati khud he :emmy: