Will you refuse a girl if...............

[Ess_Emm]

Re: Will you refuse a girl if…

@nnabid

Lol - you don’t know me or my brother so I think I’m in a bit of a better decision to judge whether or not he has lunch with female colleagues now - don’t you think?

Also, living in Western society doesn’t mean you have to rid yourself of your moral and/or religious ideals. Both can still go hand in hand. While at uni and in the workplace, I managed to keep my distance from male colleagues to the extent that if there was a lunch-type scenario as described, I would happily eat alone rather than go on a lunch date with a male colleague. In fact, it was to such an extent that the male colleagues in my office KNEW the type of girl I was, and would be sure to keep a certain level of respect when I was around. Crass and crude jokes would be made at the lunch table - I know because my work desk was a little in front of it - but as I sat down, they would all discretely change the topic. Sometimes even jokingly comment that I am here so let’s keep the topic ‘clean’. If there was ever a work ‘do’ after hours, they would know that I wouldn’t come if the restaurant served alcohol - so they’d always ensure to choose a non-alcoholic restaurant. Pretty hard to do in London - but they did it out of respect for me.

If you want to give in to societal pressure, then go ahead and fit in with the crowd. But if you want to live up to your morals - it’s not easy and it takes a bit of work and patience - but eventually it pays off.

And by expecting the same standards FIRST from my brother than my would-be bhabhi - I think that doesn’t make me her dushman does it?

You’re correct. I don’t know you nor your brother. But I know that men and women have very different moral codes that they have to abide by. Whereas fingers would be pointed at a girl if she decides to socialize, no one would bat an eyelash if the guy decides to do the same, or even more. And every single guy in this world, whether he be from Pakistan or Timbuktu behaves himself when a female is around him, whether he’s related to her or not. So you’re definitely not special in that regard

Living up to standard set of morals isn’t as hard as people set them out to be. It’s quiet basic. And not everyone is a special snowflake in this world. But to judge someone on the basis of a regular social visit is extremely pathetic. If a potential rishta seeker has that much of a concern whether the girl has feelings for a colleague or not, then ask her point blank, instead of questioning her character and as they say, avoid mitti uchalna on someone else’s character.

Anyways, to each their own.