Yep - did it and it never bothered me that my MIL didn’t like me b/c her son married out of family and wasn’t a Pathan.
But I still remain calm and polite and love her b/c she is my Husband’s Mother. Plus I just want to enjoy my life which is why I was never bothered by her. Lol.
Its actually really funny b/c my MIL studied abroad and did Masters in English - so knows English very well but since knowing me she has refused to speak a word of English or Urdu with me. She only speaks Pashtu to me knowing very well that I can’t speak/ understand Pashtu well.
This has kept me laughing for years which is why I go to see her as often as I can! Lol.
I have seen cases where the MIL was the sweetest things before the marriage and turned into a monster afterwards. They like the girl so they go out of their way to get her and once she is there....they feel like the pretty bahu has snatched away their son. That will make them do anything to ruin the relationship.
If things are a bit sour in the first place, I doubt they can change drastically. Women are over protective of their sons esp. if the choice was made by the son. They feel left out and take it out on the new bride...and if there are nands there as well...then oh boy!
If things are a bit sour in the first place, I doubt they can change drastically. Women are over protective of their sons esp. if the choice was made by the son. They feel left out and take it out on the new bride...and if there are nands there as well...then oh boy!
Lol! I can so relate to what you said! Btw your not one of my Devrani's are you? Hehe! :)
Its actually really funny b/c my MIL studied abroad and did Masters in English - so knows English very well but since knowing me she has refused to speak a word of English or Urdu with me. She only speaks Pashtu to me knowing very well that I can't speak/ understand Pashtu well.
This has kept me laughing for years which is why I go to see her as often as I can! Lol. :)
LOL, reminds me of my MIL. For years she pretended that she only spoke Punjabi. I used to ask my hubby how she got her MA in English :).
Seriously, I've been married a long time now, and my MIL has mellowed a lot over the last few years, and so have I. It's also easier if there is some distance (like an ocean or two) between you when you start out.
LOL, reminds me of my MIL. For years she pretended that she only spoke Punjabi. I used to ask my hubby how she got her MA in English :).
Seriously, I've been married a long time now, and my MIL has mellowed a lot over the last few years, and so have I. It's also easier if there is some distance (like an ocean or two) between you when you start out.
So true! An ocean part or more does wonders! Lol.
My MIL lives in Pakistan and their family only marries in their own clan. So when their son broke the family traditions, my MIL sort of cracked! I thought she had hit depression!
But I always go to see her because I want my child to know her Dadi - and my MIL loves her and speaks in english and urdu with her but not with me! Hilarious and yet so weird! Or is it just being stubborn hey? :)
LOL - she is stubborn :) My husband was also the first one to marry outside of his family, so he went all the way and married outside of the caste and country too. My MIL only spoke English when she wanted me to do something when we were first married. She is much better now, and speaks English and Urdu with my kids. She loves helping my oldest two study for their SATs, so much for not understanding English!
i wouldnt reccomend marrying when the future MIL hates you, but it also depends on the guy. Is he of substabce n worth it, will he take a stand for you when the going gets tough? A good friend of mine married her choice despite her MIL hating her guts......but the guy had proven that he is not one to really take a stand, even though he made false promises of living seperate...etc. Many years later she is miserable, cuz to this day the MIL does everything in her power to make her life miserable....and the guy can't say a thing to his mother even when she is wrong, n tells his wife to be patient.....grr
^ aww that's so sad!!! the typical scenario for a man: wife vs Mother!!!
My MIL didn't like me at first, or rather 'didn't like the the sound of me' because she hadn't met me yet. She's a typical snobby frenchwoman who likes everything her way, and would've preferrred her son to marry their close friends daughter... who was ready to be the perfect stepford housewife. She didn't like the idea that i had a career, that i didn't want to have kids right away (which MIL does like this?!) and also... that i was not french!! but i won her over as soon as i met her. It helped that i spoke french and 'looked french' according to her. I know i got the seal of approval, cos i soon received a Hermes birkin bag... so i know i did something right! :D
Although she doesn't live in the UK, she is a part of our lives and we go to visit her every couple of months or vice versa. My kids love her, and i love her... really!
why is it always the mother who is mean to the bahu?
and in the case of the MIL who actually is mean...why does the husband never stop her? Or do the old uncles ignore it? Or are htey mean to the wives and thus the wives take it out on the bahu?
I hate indian dramas. I can't decide what I hate more.....the puke-inducing titles....or the way some of the dramas make the women look subservient with that "I must serve you, my husband, my lord" attitude...........YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!
And the titles make me cringe.....they produce the type of shudders you experience when your hear long fingernails running down a chalkboard. Examples:
Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahoo Thi
Sindoor (the red powder Indian women use to show that they're married)
Hamari Betiyon Ka Vivaah (Our daughters' weddings)
**
Mayka** (What refers to a girl's house....to differentiate between a susraal)
Please, Glamorous, don't try to gain any "wisdom" from Indian dramas. I can't seem to understand why these Indian directors get soooooooo damn attached to their dramas. It's like they can't let their dramas die. They develop such a deep-rooted affection for their corny soap-operas that the feel they must let it continue for ages to the point of absurdity.....and that's when the they resort to STUPID ideas just to keep their drama alive and going. And by STUPID ideas, I mean.........main character dying and coming back to life in reincarnated form..........main character presumed to be dead and comes back with a new face (courtesy of** platic surgery)**
**
Aiye Ya Yaiye!!!!!! ** And if you do plan to get help from the dramas, then don't watch the kind where the bahu suffers in silence as she goes about the house displaying the unrealistic obedience that only a saint can pull off. Instead watch something where the bahu has a backbone and knows how to respect others while also maintaining her own dignity. Or just come to gupshup, we'll help you out, lol:)
lol i wasnt serious about that i was just joking
i myself hate indian dramas
