Will we be selfish on the day of judgement?

Society Religion & Philosophy
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The whole foundation of humanity is based on love and affection for each other, especially within blood relations. Human kid is the only kid that requires 12 + years of unconditional nurturing (by parents) to reach the stage of independence. Even after that, in any normal family, mom and dad are ready to do anything to to save the kids from any pain. Just assume of a situation where an evil person points a gun at your family and demands for at least one life. I am sure that most of the parents will give theirs happily to save the kids.

But on the day of judgement, we are told that moms will throw their babies away and run, and everyone will only be worried about themselves. This concept always bothered me. How can a mother enter paradise knowing that her kid is going to the other place? Even if she is forced to enter the paradise, will she be happy? However we are told that Jannat will be the place of eternal happiness.

Now lets assume that sadness really would not exist, and that mother would not be sad. Then that mother would not be the same person. She would be a (for the lack of better term) a brainwashed being, cause a normal person would not be a happy person knowing that her kid is burning in hell fire. So in reality, its not you but a brainwashed creature is going to enter the jannat on your behalf!!

Did my confusion make sense to you? Do you think like that too?

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Re: Will we be selfish on the day of judgement?

I understand your confusion and no, I don't think of it the same way. It is clearly mentioned in the Qur'an that the family members will be worried about themselves above all else. So you can call it selfishness if you like. However, I understand it as being more that the fear of Jahannam and what will be felt on the day of judgement are two completely different things...then it will be feared based on its reality, when it will be seen. So to escape it will be bring relief and then entry into Jannah will also be happy when one sees the reality of Jannah. Realizing what is going on on the day of qiyama will make people worried from themselves and will make one heedless of everyone but himself/herself.

Also, to address your brainwashing argument, I also believe that the love and mercy felt towards ones family members/children or any person (or any form of compassion between any two living beings) is from a portion of the mercy of Allah. So any compassion/sympathy/love/caring that we feel for anyone else is also from Allah and that too could be considered "brainwashing" in the same manner.

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Re: Will we be selfish on the day of judgement?

Great question TLK. This is a question that I have often asked my religious friends. it is not just about family, how about close friends.
What about wives if the husbands are sent to hell. Would'nt it be rather lonely.

A friend of mine answered that the concept of happiness is different in heaven and the relationships that we form on the earth no longer hold good in heaven.

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Re: Will we be selfish on the day of judgement?

This is why, in Islam, we as parents are ordained to 'save our children from hellfire'...doesn't that make sense? we should do everything in our hands to do just that. we should do our part then expect Allah's Mercy.

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Re: Will we be selfish on the day of judgement?

I always believed that we wouldn't even know who is who on the day of judgement. If we dont even recognize our loved ones, how would we be able to help them in anyway?

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Re: Will we be selfish on the day of judgement?

Allah is pleased with them and they are pleased with Allah

means they submitted to Allah Ta'ala in such a way that what Allah Ta'ala does and commands is correct

For example if Allah Ta'ala sent me to hell, know that Allah Ta'ala is Pure, Great and Supreme - indeed it was correct to send me to hell

Also love for kids over Love for Allah Ta'ala and His Messenger SallAllahu Alaihi wa Aalihi wa Sallam is not even allowed in this world how will it be concerning to mothers in heaven. The insinuation i am making that attitude wont see heaven, and if they do their kids who may have also recited Shahadah will both see heaven after intercession [after spending time in hell]

But lets no under estimate the forgiveness of Allah Ta'ala whom can and does forgive for what we may consider minor things which we may not even remember

It is also said for us to ask brothers to ask about us from Heaven, Ya Allah I do not see so and so

hope it helps

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Re: Will we be selfish on the day of judgement?

@Captain Obvious. Any fear comes from the harm that is associated with the threat that is causing the fear. The threat is same for me and my love ones on the day of the judgment, but now I am so terrified for my own self, that the thought of what my love ones might be feeling is not even crossing my mind! That is my point.
And for the brainwashing part, maybe brainwashing was not the right term to use. But if we don’t have the same compassion and love for our family members that we had in this world, then we are not thinking the same way. Our body will be rotten, so we probably gonna have a new body on the day of judgment/day of resurrection. Now our mind is also thinking differently, which means that soul is somewhat different. Its all very conflicting, hence my confusion.

@ReadMe. That is my concern. If concepts of happiness are different, and relationships are no longer valid, then why are we tested through the stuff that has no validity at the end? When you give exams in this world, the test holds some validity and the results matter. Almost all the sins that you and I commit in this world, are to seek some personal happiness or to help the relatives. Now at the end, the same stuff that you were tested through wont matter? Strange, isn’t it?

@KKF, but your answer is not valid here. Me not able to help my kids in this world has nothing to do with me having concern for them on the big day.

@Silaaj. Your believe may not be true. If it is, then the Shifaa’at of shuhudaa, huffaz, and innocent kids for their parents would not even occur. But we know that those groups will do the request from Allah for their parents.

@vroom. I have no issues with the concept of submission to Allah’s will. But just because it will be Allah’s will to send one of my love one to hell, does not mean that I would be happy. I maybe submissive, but happiness is a different feeling.

I also agree that we should love Allah and his prophet the most. But my kids come third at least, right? If you love your first two kids more than the third one, then would it be ok for you to see the third one in any discomfort? I am sure not.

At the end, what you said about the mercifulness of Allah SWT and jannatis asking for the other brothers – is the only source of comfort for me. But the fact that we all would be so self centered on that day still bothers me.

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Re: Will we be selfish on the day of judgement?

Your children are in safe hands in life in death and on maydan e hashr, Just let them feel from you Love of Allah and His Messenger SallAllahu Alaihi wa Aalihi wa Sallam

Allah Ta'ala loves your children more then you do :)

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Re: Will we be selfish on the day of judgement?

@TLK - Certain questions are best left to the afterlife :)

For all you know things might be quite different from what we have imagined it to be or maybe there is nothing called afterlife.

ps: I am not a Muslim and tend to be an atheist at times ...:D
I believe in God when it suits me.

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Re: Will we be selfish on the day of judgement?

TLK, can you please point out some reference where it says the mother will run away after throwing away her child?

As far as I know, a hadith says mothers will drop their babies in their womb. It could be an implication of the end of time but i guess you are mixing it with another event. Also at the end of time all the human will die (I think) including new born as well. Then the people will be raised again at the age of 33 no matter what age they died. So it seems your confusing two different events, mothers drop their babies in their womb which will happen when Trumpet will be blown and another event when all the humans will be presented to God after they are raised.

On another note, a mothers love for her child is sort of selfishness as she dont show even a fraction of that love for a child of another mother.
We see mothers are aborting their babies in their womb which is more selfish than throwing away a child.

Allah knows best.

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Re: Will we be selfish on the day of judgement?

Boss & Ali, Its first few ayat of surah al haj.

Boss, most of time we think, and in our thinking we are our best selves.
Of course any parent would give their life before their kids.
BUT in second world war Japanese did some strange torture technique, where parents turned into big animal using kids a little animal to save them selves from gradually intensifying heat.
If those parents were asked "would you take a bullet in heart to save your kid" every parent would have done it with smile on their face. But the way they were put out of their element was very brutal.

So may God protect us all, their is no certainty in many things.
Here to me it looks like God is telling how that event going to be that nursing mother would abandon their children.
There are few more places where it stated how earth is going to be... how nothing would hold its place...many thing we take as signs of stability and strength..
So put all that together.. its going put human beings way out of their element.

BTW: what happens after parents settle down in haven, I don;t know.

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Re: Will we be selfish on the day of judgement?

22:1 O mankind, fear your Lord. Indeed, the convulsion of the [final] Hour is a terrible thing.
22:2 On the Day you see it every nursing mother will be distracted from that [child] she was nursing, and every pregnant woman will abort her pregnancy, and you will see the people [appearing] intoxicated while they are not intoxicated; but the punishment of Allah is severe.

**I always believed that this stuff about shuhadaa and huffaz was more symbolic than anything else. Because from a perspective of ‘insaaf’, it doesnt make sense to a layman like me that a person could commit crimes all his life, yet if his son dies a shaheed, he would benefit from it just because his son laid his life for Allah SWT. I always felt that it always has to be something that the person himself/herself did that would save him/her from the hellfire (however small), despite a life of evil deeds. Like the woman who would go to jannah for giving water to a dying dog, despite having been a mushrik all her life.

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Re: Will we be selfish on the day of judgement?

That is ok. But what TLK is implying is mother will throw her child away, causing death of her child. That may happen on the day of judgement but If "distraction" is the word then we can see that being happen even today. I believe mothers leaving their babies (including everything dear to them) out fear is different from saying throwing their babies away.

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Re: Will we be selfish on the day of judgement?

I really think you should look at people on earth before going up to the heavens. People have sold their kids for cannibalism during times of famine so not everyone will do or die for their kids in time of great peril even in this world. Murders, thieves, rapists also all have parents. Why aren't they all prison breaking their kids out? Did they not raise their children with love and care? A person with an ounce of morality will let their child get punished for their wrong deeds now then why would anyone righteous not in the hereafter?

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Re: Will we be selfish on the day of judgement?

OK this further support my point. This condition called punch drunk, When you take a real hard hit on the head.
It sort of undo your personality, for few min to few hrs. I know this :)
Like a strong shock condition.

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Re: Will we be selfish on the day of judgement?

Peace @TLK,

Let me put in this way to explain :) (1) Requirements for Body (this life) and (2) Requirements for soul (life hereafter).

In "Requirements for body", includes all those things which are in this world (Duniya) i.e., relationship, kinsmen, money, friends, foods, education, etc,. but once we depart towards "Requirements for soul", we will be so overcome to the "requirements of body", with fear at realizing that we actually haven't completed our responsibilities and/or haven't prepared ourselves for this final day. At that moment, we'll not only desert our most intimate friends, but also be ready to offer our children, family, kinsmen as well all other requirements of body which we ever had, just to save ourselves. And Yes! we'll be selfish in it.

Please read the following translation of the verses from the Holy Qur'an:

Chapter 70 Verse 10 - 14:

And no friend will ask after a friend,
Though they will be put in sight of each other,- the sinner's desire will be: Would that he could redeem himself from the Penalty of that Day by (sacrificing) his children,
His wife and his brother,
His kindred who sheltered him,
And all, all that is on earth,- so it could deliver him:

And Chapter 80 Verse 33 - 37:

At length, when there comes the Deafening Noise,-
That Day shall a man flee from his own brother,
And from his mother and his father,
And from his wife and his children.
Each one of them, that Day, will have enough concern (of his own) to make him indifferent to the others.