My cousin’s wife likes the idea of having a baby in the house. She mA has 4. Now now that he’s 2.5, she is getting baby fever again.
Her husband is very supportive but he thinks 4 is enough. I think he is a little embarrassed to be like the Brady Bunch in this day and age.
But she feels she takes care of them, she gets up night, she does the school work and driving them everywhere and most of the parenting without complaining and she’s not asking him to do anything that he’s not doing already.
if they are okay financially, what’s the big deal.
What they need to do is to sit down and talk about the final number. What if she gets the baby fever again, after baby number 5? They should have an agreement of what the size of their family should be. Accidents aside, after reaching the agreement, they should stick to it.
Well, if she can handle it, then by all means have another :D
But personally I think the real hard work starts when after the children start going to school and have greater needs. As infants, yes the efforts are time consuming but mundane. As kids grow older you have this responsibility of planting the right seeds, help them overcome, teaching them, guiding them....etc...and in this world today, especially living abroad where you have little or no help, more children means more stress...in the end some child will suffer due to lack of time.
I'm surprised that the couple never discussed how many kids they want to have up until now. I agree with Niksik. Even if they can afford it financially....at the end of the day, the mom is only one person. Her attention is already divided between 4 children. If she gets pregnant again, who will take care of the 4 kids while she's going through pregnancy? It will be imposible for her to recover from child birth and take care of a infant while still paying the same amount of care/attention to the current 4 children. More children also means more stress, more details that need her attention etc.
Also, with 4 children, I imagine she and her husband doesn't have much "husband/wife" time....since she's already so focused on the 4 kids. How will having a 5th child effect her time/attention towards her husband/marriage?
I personally think she should ask herself WHY she wants one more child. Why the current 4 aren't enough. Will she stop at #5? #6? #7? At what point will the "craving" stop?
