Re: Wife Blaming me for Abortion
Erm .... Nah forget it ...
You've titled the thread "wife blaming ..." - is she your wife any more?
Re: Wife Blaming me for Abortion
Why do you want us to tell you who is responsible for the abortion? Is it so your heart can have some tasalli after hearing that it wasn't your fault? If you verbally stated that you don't want to abort the child, then it's not your fault. And what....is your wife's maami some mufti now? To my knowledge Islam allows only a 120 day window to abort a child...so that's about 4 months. If it's more than 120 days, then it's a transgression from my understanding. So, if your wife exceeded the 120 day limit, the gunnah is on her and the maami.
But I will say that there are a couple things that I find annoying. If you said it was okay for your wife to return to you....if you were willing to accept her back....would it have killed you to pick your wife up? I can understand if your workplace is far from your wife's home or that perhaps you had a professional meeting or deadline you could not get out of. But if you were unwilling to pick ger up due to your ego, then that's not right. It sends her message that "I'll take you back, but I still hold a grudge." The other person...(in this case your wife)....will likely find such a response discouraging and see it as a rejection of sorts no matter how many idiotic things she may have done. I could be wrong, but I think that maybe comments like "Drop yourself off, I'm not coming to retrieve you" ....would just prolong the drama and delay resolution.
Re: Wife Blaming me for Abortion
And as others have said....she is no longer your wife. There is no baby. Take what lessons for self-improvement you can from this experience and move forward with your life.
Re: Wife Blaming me for Abortion
1: What does it matter who is responsible for the abortion? It’s done. Over.
2: Where do you live? And why is it allowed to abort at 4,5 months without any reason?
I can’t even tell you how utterly disgusted and annoyed I felt reading your and your wife’s bakwas. Urgh.
:k:
They will never learn. Their egos are bigger than the mountains. 
Re: Wife Blaming me for Abortion
Unfortunately too many MOMS, MAMOO and CHACHUS involved in that relationship. It was destined to doom. Hope you have learned the lesson. Did you ever ask her if she want to live in separate home? A place away from YOUR family? Its very rare that a girl gets into relationship with the mission to fight against family of guy. There always is some reason behind it (right or wrong, its a separate discussion) and most of the time its wish of getting separate place.
Also, I am not sure we are always on our toes to spit out 'divorce' threat for each fight we get into. Personally, I think something serious like divorce should not be used as threat. In fact you can never use a threat to repair a relationship. Threats only escalate matters.
Anyway, whats done is done and you cant do anything about it. She can blame you all she wants but it wont change a thing. Who was responsible for that, Allah knows the best. Its over, move on.
Re: Wife Blaming me for Abortion
Yeah dude, sounds like she was mentally off. Maybe you or your family contributed, but even with the pressure in-laws can put on a girl, a rational stable person doesn't act like this.
I'd move on. As hard as that is, because that is your child now that is lost, and you're feeling it hard. It was done without your permission. She has no right to blame you - she made the choice against your will.
Re: Wife Blaming me for Abortion
it is easy to say " he /she was mentally not stable". well if they r then we should take good care.
well, story is already ended, might be OP feels guilty somewhere thats y he wana hear comforting words.
Good luck in future with some mentally stable life partner.
Re: Wife Blaming me for Abortion
sorry but its really not good to abort child just becoz of relation is not working ...u wife is lucky that she blessed with this neymat and she abort ...its very difficult when u want this blessing but u didnt get...
Re: Wife Blaming me for Abortion
I'm speechless. Aborted a 4.5 months young baby. I can't believe it. I'm leaving, I have to vomit...
Re: Wife Blaming me for Abortion
You must feel sad regarding the baby, you cannot change the past, move on with your life and learn from this, forget the ex wife and try to make a better future.
Re: Wife Blaming me for Abortion
Who said abortion is allowed up to 4-5 months?
"...And do not slay your children for (fear of) poverty -- We provide for you and for them --- and do not draw nigh to indecencies, those of them which are apparent and those which are concealed, and do not kill the soul which Allah has forbidden except for the requirements of justice: this He has enjoined you with that you may understand." [Qur'an 6:151]
Re: Wife Blaming me for Abortion
Have no idea if you are trolling here. So much Bollywood Desi drama.
You say you are divorced, yet refer to her as your wife.
And if this is the truth, no matter how one sided it is. You both will have to answer to for your actions in a much higher court, stop trying to get out of who is to blame for what. Maybe when in your grave you will find out.
My Mum lost her child, my sister, at full term. My Mum had to carry the dead baby for over a week before she was induced and then deliver the stillborn, most beautiful baby ever. (I don't know why the hospital induced her so late) So I don't feel so sorry for you or for your ex. it has been so many years and my Mum still cries when she passes the graveyard.
Want another one..my cousin and his wife did not get along, yet she was expecting shortly after wedding. She went for an abortion, it was blocked by the courts. She delivered the baby after nine months, under guard. as soon as the baby was born , she decided she could now use the baby for $$$$. Things went really bad, divorce was finalised after delivery. after many ups and downs, my cousin has full custody of his daughter (now 8 years old), and mothers rights have been legally terminated.
Re: Wife Blaming me for Abortion
probably you should have added the warning above.. abortion at 22 weeks is not only just heart breaking but the most disgusting thing someone has ever done and posted about it in this forum!!!
you know just tell us you were lying all about it.. no such thing happened... just for us to be able to sleep at night.. this is going to haunt me forever.. I know babies who were delivered at 25 weeks and they survived with lots of medical help... 22 weeks is tooo late for abortion! :(
Re: Wife Blaming me for Abortion
probably you should have added the warning above.. abortion at 22 weeks is not only just heart breaking but the most disgusting thing someone has ever done and posted about it in this forum!!!
you know just tell us you were lying all about it.. no such thing happened... just for us to be able to sleep at night.. this is going to haunt me forever.. I know babies who were delivered at 25 weeks and they survived with lots of medical help... 22 weeks is tooo late for abortion! :(
It's quite surprising too. In canada you can't even have elective abortions after 24 weeks and there are probably very few doctors in the country who would be willing to do it after 20 weeks.
Re: Wife Blaming me for Abortion
Unfortunately too many MOMS, MAMOO and CHACHUS involved in that relationship. It was destined to doom. Hope you have learned the lesson. Did you ever ask her if she want to live in separate home? A place away from YOUR family? Its very rare that a girl gets into relationship with the mission to fight against family of guy. There always is some reason behind it (right or wrong, its a separate discussion) and most of the time its wish of getting separate place.
Also, I am not sure we are always on our toes to spit out 'divorce' threat for each fight we get into. Personally, I think something serious like divorce should not be used as threat. In fact you can never use a threat to repair a relationship. Threats only escalate matters.
Anyway, whats done is done and you cant do anything about it. She can blame you all she wants but it wont change a thing. Who was responsible for that, Allah knows the best. Its over, move on.
THIS