When it comes to controlling money, who calls the shot in your household? If you (husband) do, then is this the matter of “because I am man and/or because I am earning”?
My personal experience is that females are either good money manager or the worst (hard to find moderate). Luckily my wife belongs to first category. I admit I was reluctant to involve her and to listen to her in beginning of our married life (and main reason being her shopping sprees ) but as time goes on, I involved her ( in fact handed over the finances to her) and as soon as I got her involved into finances, surprisingly she became more prudent in spending and we started saving a bit more.
Now whenever she tells me that “look now we are saving at better rate”, I say “coz I don’t go on shopping sprees in your regime like you used to go in mine and you don’t take me out on dinners that often as I used to” and this is not only my story. Why woman spend more carefully when she is in charge and not so carefully if husband is?
Share your experiences. Singles can share the experiences of their parents
Re: Wife as home finance manager.....share your experience!
I think maybe her financial skills improved because she sees what is coming in and what has to go out. If a woman has never worked she may have not have a good idea about the financial obligations involved in running the household.
For example, she may only know that you make $75,000 a year, but may not be aware that 25-30% of that goes towards taxes, another $2000 or so towards insurance, and so on. And some women have no idea what their mortgage payments are.
In our household I handle the day to day finances, pay the bills, etc., and hubby takes care of the big stuff, partly because he works long hours, and just doesn't have the time. We do have a policy that if one of us wants to purchase something that is more than $50.00, we will consult the other. This started when we were young and broke, and we have continued it because it's just common courtesy, and helps cut down on those impulse buys. We have a lot of (his) family obligations, but we've recently cut down on some of those. If we are shopping for a big ticket item, like furniture or a car, we do it together and make joint decision, but he has the final say. I can't imagine he would buy something I hated, though :)
Personally, I think that everyone should have a paying job at least once in his/her life, in order to understand and appreciate how hard one has to work for the money in that paycheck.
Re: Wife as home finance manager.....share your experience!
I think if you give some financial independance they will be start to think more carefully before spending the money. However the person does need to have some financial sense in the first place.
Re: Wife as home finance manager.....share your experience!
Not sure if this si relevant, but its a well known fact that in 3rd-world countries, women are much better with money because they will use it to benefit their famillies, start businesses, and buy food and medicine for their kids..whereas their husbandswill just throw the money away on alcohol or cigarettes or other useless crap
Re: Wife as home finance manager.....share your experience!
It actually started out at $10.00, excluding groceries when we were first married, but we were poor grad students :).
We've been married a long time now, alhumdulillah, and we trust each other not to be wasteful (except at Eid time, when I have been known to go overboard!) so it seemed practical to raise it. That said, I think we'd have big problems if we were each out spending $50 every day on frivolous things.
Re: Wife as home finance manager.....share your experience!
Oh this thread reminded me of my grandparents - they grew up during the Great Depression and were quite frugal. My grandpa always said that "if you take care of the nickels and dimes, the dollars will take care of themselves" and my grandmother's favorite quote was "use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without."
Alhamdulillah they were well off, but they never wasted, and never overindulged. I think this generation can learn so much from early ones in this regard.
Re: Wife as home finance manager…share your experience!
If feel like calling you my buddy because my wife is like yours as far as controlling money. I agree, let the wife be the controller of money being spend and you are far less left accountable to “where did the money go?” However, if they make a major blunder, guess who gets the beating?
Re: Wife as home finance manager.....share your experience!
My wife is doing an excellent job as a finance minister, and I act as a consultant. My financial condition became very good after I gave charge to my wife. She literally has a journal where she makes budget 2-3 months in advance, which really helps us in deciding when to do major spending/investment (car, property, vacations, FDs).
Re: Wife as home finance manager.....share your experience!
My experience is from a single's perspective. I've always preferred spending. I do try to save every now and then, but my happiness comes first. I work hard (albeit part-time) and I deserve to spend. Lately, I've been a little more sensible with my money, so I don't completely run out of money at the end of the month.
Re: Wife as home finance manager.....share your experience!
You'll always spend more freely when your money is handed to you from the family's provider. Father, or husband or wife, or whoever. Because you're not the one writing the bills, etc and seeing where the rest of the money is going and what's left over.
When you're responsible for managing it, and you see where the money is going and what the family's needs are, etc - then its a totally different story. I manage myself much better financially now that I'm totally financially independent, and also because I'm a student in debt - so my hand is more tight now than it used to be.
With my parents - my mom is def. the financial minister of the household. She knows and does everything.
) but as time goes on, I involved her ( in fact handed over the finances to her) and as soon as I got her involved into finances, surprisingly she became more prudent in spending and we started saving a bit more.
cute but true