Many times I have felt that I have taken away time from my hubby to give to my daughter. I feel bad at times because I know he sees how exhausted I get at times but is their a medium for both relationships? My daughter is 1 masallah and constantly needs our love and attention but I feel hubby comes home from school and I serve him dinner sometimes and go to bed after putting her to sleep. Does anyone else experience this and does this get better as kids grow?
Re: wife and mother how do you keep up with both?
Joking. Obviously. My above post I mean.
I think as your daughter grows the problem should rectify itself. :)
Re: wife and mother how do you keep up with both?
cool girl i guess ur not as cool as ur nick suggests ... jokes aside ... i think just talk to ur hubby and let him kno that you really care for him and u feel bad about this ... and trust me just the thought goes a long way
Re: wife and mother how do you keep up with both?
is your husband spend time with daughter?
Re: wife and mother how do you keep up with both?
It gets better in the manner that you start spending more time as a family, rather than just you dedicating your time to hubby dear's khidmatein. Why feel guilty? You're also tired after a full day of work (ghar ka kaam and taking care of your daughter). Most husbands understand and don't make a fuss about it, as they get more mature and understanding after having kids.
Many times I have felt that I have taken away time from my hubby to give to my daughter. I feel bad at times because I know he sees how exhausted I get at times but is their a medium for both relationships? My daughter is 1 masallah and constantly needs our love and attention but I feel hubby comes home from school and I serve him dinner sometimes and go to bed after putting her to sleep. Does anyone else experience this and does this get better as kids grow?
That's why its important that the father also helps with the kid. If you don't work, then you must be at home all day with the kid and you must get tired n all so he should help you out when he comes home. This way you both can also find some time together.
Re: wife and mother how do you keep up with both?
if u are going to bed everyday after putting ure daughter to sleep whilst ure man just sits there, its unfair to him.
i have an 11 month old and what we do is..
both of us spend time together with the child. our son is mashallah ACTIVE and keeps us on our toes but its not just me handling him.. once husband comes home, he takes over. we both play with him, feed him whilst talking bout our day...
then hsuband bathes him, changes him and gets him ready for bed..i give him his night bottle and once he is asleep, we both spend time together before calling it a night at 11 pm.
yes i am beat and so is he, but our day can not possibly be complete without talking to each other without having midget interupting us... adults need alone tiem with each other too.
once they get older, they need u even more cuz its all bout food, play time, i hurt myself make me feel better, i cant sleep put me to bed.. i still cant sleep can i sleep with you etc et cetc...
so in teh midst of all this, u have to come up with a routine or schedule or way so that the 2 of you have time alone with each other.
Re: wife and mother how do you keep up with both?
oh and what time are u putting her to sleep?
try to make her bedtime so that once she is gone to bed, its still early enough for both of you to stay up and talk etc.
say 8 pm bedtime for her.. that way even if u guys stay up till 11, u can connect and still get enough hours of sleep to function well for the next day.
Re: wife and mother how do you keep up with both?
I disliked 8pm bedtime as a kid. I never followed it. 
Re: wife and mother how do you keep up with both?
what, even as a one year old...
Re: wife and mother how do you keep up with both?
That's how it is for most of us, after we have kids. I don't think you are alone in this... I wish I could be as systematic and organized as Khawateen :)
Maybe you should take out some time for just you and him on the weekend or something????
Re: wife and mother how do you keep up with both?
Coolgirl, not to worry. Things do indeed get better you just need to give it some time. I had 3 babies in rapid succession and those early years were so very tough on the marital relations and there was just no personal time at all.
But then, the boys graduated out of diapers. That was HUGE. Bigger still was when they were able to learn to be safe in parking lots and crowded areas, when I yell STOP!! they actually DO stop. They are more independent with eating, with dressing themselves, with taking care of putting things away and helping around the house. They all go to school now so I een have time to go to a salon from time to time.
I was kind of a mess when my boys were in their infancy. I hated having company. I wasnt social and didnt want to be. I had my hands more than full. These days though, I love to have company, I love to get in the car and go camping or on road trips with the boys.
Those early years, the years that include total dependence and diapers...its a great thing to dedicate yourself to the babies who need you so very much. But it leaves time for almost nothing else. It passes though. And in time, you actually will find yourself missing these days!
Re: wife and mother how do you keep up with both?
uh oh, coolgirl uve just opened up a pandoras box for yourself here at Gupshup. I'll have you know that here at Gupshup, the guppans feel that caring for the family (kids, husband ) is just beneath them. They rather do other stuff (like gossip, waste time at gupshup etc).
So prepared to be looked down on.