WHY?

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Why do guys expect from their ladies to do both male & female work? …they dont think they are humans?.. they want them to do both genders work while what they do is just their job from 9 to 5… now dont tell me guys help around the house as its not true as half of them dint know how to cook n clean… cuz dont know how to do that either…

DISCUSS!

2

Re: WHY?

Usually it happens when woman get up and do everything themselves...if you don't put responsibility on someone...why would they take it up?

A home is made up of two people...if one person is doing it all...why is the other one around? Everyone has to carry their weight and this is one of those situations where you need to put responsibility him otherwise get ready to do it all for the rest of your life.

3

Re: WHY?

First of all, as women (most of us) choose our partner, we know their personality and their behaviour towards things like chores, thoughts on working women, how they are in their own home prior to marriage, etc.

So then it always surprises me later on when a lot of them complain about their spouse not helping out.

You need to discuss things like this and form a schedule of tasks you guys can do as a team. Like, on my husband's day off - he likes to get in the kitchen and cook, because he loves it too. He always takes out the trash and he helps me with whatever other task I need. But you need to tell him/her! Sometimes we just get pissed when they're sitting down watching TV and we're slaving away in the kitchen, but we never make a peep and just carry on... So be verbal about it and let him know if you need help. Also, habits get formed early on in a marriage. So if you are always cooking and cleaning and never say you need help, well then it becomes a habit for him as well and he assumes he doesn't need to ask you or pitch in. Sometimes there are things that I can do faster and more efficiently - like cooking and vacuuming so I don't ask for his help. But there are always simple tasks - like rinsing a few dishes while I'm cooking, asking him to cut up some of the meat/veggies while I'm prepping the dish. You know simple things, maybe if there's a dish that he's really good at cooking, bring it up on his day off and get him in the kitchen with you. :)

4

Re: WHY?

it's how men and women are trained in our culture. it's the collective fault of so many previous generations. it's also because women are not financially independent. things are changing now and i hope in a decade or so, men and women will equally share in carrying out household chores. iA

5

Re: WHY?

I think it's a family thing. When mothers raise their sons and daughters they give them a specific skill sets. Most mothers do not impart any household skills to the boys. They expect their sons to never raise a finger because it's inevitable they'll get a wife. My father knows how to cook, clean, iron his own clothes, sew his own buttons because his mother taught him how.

Like one time the cook and my mother both weren't home and guests came over. I opened the door, greeted them and after some small talk I realized that my dad was missing and I should get something done about the food. Lo and behold from behind me my dad brought in the trolley with tea and biscuits, fried food. I don't think it even occurred to him that most guys with daughters would expect them to be in the kitchen rather doing it all themselves.

6

Re: WHY?

The first step to changing things would be to stop using the terms "male work" and "female work."

7

Re: WHY?

What is your full name? Nida Gul Khan?

PS:

Guys expect their "ladies" to do all the work because their "ladies" proudly brag around in front of their friends "main tu in ko uth ker pani bhi nahi peney daitee" or "YEE tu apni plate bhi utha ker nahi rakhtey sink main"

Secondly there is no such thing is his or her work, its all family work / house work.

8

Re: WHY?

Sorry..just had to be said.. :P

9

Re: WHY?

Guys do help out. Some enjoy doing it more than others. In my extended family, I only see the guys from previous generation that don't. All my siblings and cousins ( me included ) do our share of work. Like others pointed out, its family work and needs to get done; don't matter who does it.

10

Re: WHY?

OP specifically asked you NOT to tell him/her this.

Pufft... can't even follow simple instructions. OP said "DISCUSS".

DO IT. NOW.

11

Re: WHY?

My bad!! I also missed the point about only half not knowing cooking and cleaning and that cooking and cleaning is the only way to help out. I am such a bad reader.