Does no one ever talk about the monsters called wellll …most Desi women? Well many of them anyway. Ok so most of them don’t drink or gamble but let’s face it. All of them are not the epitomes of purity that they are projected to be. They are simple humna beings, led by desires and envy(like anyone else). But because we don’t have normal channels of communication so they resort to a lot of tactics just to prove that they are right, including backbiting(i do that sometimes too), character assasination, destructive family politics .
But what puzzles me the most is the extent they can go just to destroy another person’s reputation. Many of them tell lies straight in your face and you can do nothing but watch helplessly.
In laws are their born enemies (mil’s are always wrong). Now If they have proper reason behind it then its acceptable, but mostly their point is their maan baap ka ghar being much better then their susral. I am not married yet so I shouldn’t be quick to judge coz I can have a problem myself in the future and I might have to take my words back. But I have seen many ladies who try to slander perfectly good inlaws as well, I personally know someone whose Husabd is very nice, never lived with Inlaws but no, she can’t eb decent enough to admit that they are nice, she can’t let go of a single chance of proving them inferior.
I can go and on, But girls let’s do a reality check. And oh It might not be your mother, or my mother, or her sister, or my sister, just a general observation.
Oh and btw the people who do it in real life don’t have any reasoning skills (and most of them don’t use this site) so lets keep the discussion simple.
(I am not talking about other nationalities because I am not concerned about them)
i think its best to keep distance as much as you can with such people. meet them formally, dont discuss your achievements with them, dont tell them too much about what you are up to, dont gossip with them. cant live without them either because they usually cook the yummiest greasiest desi foods
i think it is due to lack of education, as i have stated here before, desi women (but it's also true for some other lower class people) , especially the older generation did not receive as good education as men, because spending money on educating a girl was seen as a waste (women were expected to earn money only from the a$$).
I think backbitting and the lack of morality you describe in your post MYwish is directly influenced by lack of educatoin and lack of empowerment . I think this behavior, that also prevalent in african societies, is a side effect of women oppression, their anger turn to bitterness as they grow old....
unfortunately, the only people that old women can hurt by their torn and bitter ego, are their SILs and own daughters...
forced marriages, emotional blackmail, bakbiting, feminine genital maiming, and such stuff result from bitter old ladies...regardless of their nationalities
Women, like jews, always like to play the victim card whenever it suits their narrow provincial agenda. They perceive themselves as weak and justify any action on their part, however wrong, by saying, " I am weak and have always been abused, so I have the right defend myself by any means necessary." Hint: Israeli's treatment of palis.
The same reason why some women cry rape when there wasnt any and feel no remorse
the same reason why some women accuse their husbands of beating them when there wasn't any and feel no remorse
the same reason why some women vilify their MILs, FILs and SILs because they know society will believe them.
Dope, this is just a general discussion. Please refrain from pushing your own agenda here.
Some men and some women can be trusted, and some men and some women cannot be trusted. Simple.
^Paris, the reasons can be many. It could be due to frustration, lack of confidence, insecurity, Attention seeking,r plain old jealousy, or to win the attention of the man of the house. the list is long.
But everyone( under discussion) has an ulterior motive.
A lot of it is about having too much time on one's hands, and the competitiveness that comes from living in a society with scarce resources that are unequally distributed (i.e. money).
People are naturally competitive to a certain extent, such as "my johnny is going to harvard, where is your jane going?" However, many desi women have perfected this to a fine art. So many decisions are made based on "what will such and such think." Because people are brought up from the time they are very young to worry about what everyone else will think, it becomes very difficult for people to break out of that mentality. Combine this with the prohibitions on contradicting your elders, and you end up with very few people who have the strength to stand up to it. The out and out lying drives me absolutely up the wall. Anyone who tries to stop it is batameezi or worse.
Anyway , these are just my observations as an outsider. I am really not sure what the answer to this problem is.
People are naturally competitive to a certain extent, such as "my johnny is going to harvard, where is your jane going?" However, many desi women have perfected this to a fine art. So many decisions are made based on "what will such and such think." Because people are brought up from the time they are very young to worry about what everyone else will think, it becomes very difficult for people to break out of that mentality. Combine this with the prohibitions on contradicting your elders, and you end up with very few people who have the strength to stand up to it. The out and out lying drives me absolutely up the wall. Anyone who tries to stop it is batameezi or worse.
Anyway , these are just my observations as an outsider. I am really not sure what the answer to this problem is.
i agree with your analysis
