I am curious about desi approaches to some things, why does it happen
you see 3 guys hanging out…what this means is that 2 are ganging up and just
totally making fun of the 3rd one…later the alliance will change and one of the
hunters will become the hunted….this keeps going on.
You are at work or school or a mall or somfin….suddenly like highlander you get
A strange feeling….you realize that you have been spotted by another desi…you make eye
Contact, the person looks away…you never actually communicate but this keeps happening.
you buy somfin..a widget..and people insist on asking how much it was. If you tell them a low
price, then there must be something wrong with it…refurbished hay…out of the box ho ga, purrana model hai shayad, quality acchi hai kya? And if you give a price higher than their estimate then, tumhain loot liya, research naheen ki thee kya, my cousin got the same for less I think. Etc etc.
1) Each of the three guys in the gang knows that one day he'll be the victim so when it comes time to beat up on a partner, he does so happily, thanking his lucky stars that it's not his turn. Note: Usually his chest will puff up like a proud peacock too - that's a sure sign of what's going on.
2) Read this explanation with The Twilight Zone theme playing in your head. All desis have implanted a homing device that alerts fellow race-members when another is in the vicinity. Since we are all in hiding from Isreal and the CIA, we are not permitted to openly acknowledge each other's presence in public places, hence the stolen glances. This message will self-destruct in zero minus twenty seconds.....please exit the room safely.
3) Desi types have an inherent need to make others feel totally inadequate, unintelligent and inferior in every skill set. It's like the woman that fried an egg for her husband's breakfast...he got upset and told her that she should have boiled it. Next mornin' she boils one for him...he gets upset and says he wanted a fried one and she should have known. Finally third day she fries one, boils another and serves them both....he yells, "Foolish woman you fried the one that should have been boiled and boiled the one that should have been fried!"
Regarding #2, I specially hate that look on desis like if they know you inside out, even if you have never met them before in your life, and never gonna be as well.
For #3, in my case I have additional problems. People actually start telling what I should have bought or what not for the same amount of money. Which brand for the same price is better than the one I just bought and why I didn't need what I bought at the first place.
Salamo-Alaikum
hehe, I also think about these things occassionally and the only thing that I can come up with is that there is lack of self confidence......I have not been able to conclude anything else. :->
The irony is that everyone posting here is a desi, but is talking as if he is talking of another race that doesnt include him/her. Everyone is referring to them as 'THEY do this, and THEY do that, and THEY have this habit'. How about saying, "WE do this" instead?
Mr. Fraudia....nice way to absolve urself of all responsibility.
The sad part is, we always think that WE are right. When we DO act the way you described above, we feel that people who criticize us much like u did, are wrong. And when its the other way around, we feel that criticism is our birth right. I dont hang out with any ABCD crowd, so I have personally never encountered such behavior...maybe a couple of times in school. But funny why we always try to 'seperate' ourselves from our fellow desis, citing their weird habits as the reason. What do u call urself then? mighty whitey or blackjack?
Ours is an inherently conservative culture, and it translates into our attitude, whether we are in Pakistan, or ex-pakistan.
Maharaja....only googlies man, only googlies :)
[This message has been edited by Akif (edited December 20, 1999).]
Akif surely you are not suggesting that I step up and take responsibility for actions that are not a part of my routine.
I never claimed I was right. I pointed a fact out. You can argue with the fact if you wish. If this struck some strange chord than that is beyond my control.
Additionally, none of my posts are seclusionary.. i.e. we dont like them because of such and such. The actions that I described are so much a part of our society that most of us have seen it. I was not criticizing anyone, rather asking a question or trying to get people's feedback on something that I observed.
It may be your choice to group people in abcd and fob and implant or whatever category and decide not to hang out with them for your own reasons.
Niether have I separated myself from people based on their abcd'ness of fob'ness, nor have I claimed to be a mighty whitey or
black jack or a brown crown :)
This, like most of my ther posts was supposed to be a lighthearted look at a phenomenon that I observed.
My bottom line was to avoid criticizing behavior that we attribute to others, which very easily could be attributed to ourselves. You might not have had that in mind at all, but the replies u got , and will get, will definitely portray it as so. I just meant that in addition to religion, geographic location and skin color, this has the potential of becoming another divider amongst the expatriate desi community.
[This message has been edited by Akif (edited December 20, 1999).]
I missed akif's response during december :)
so here is a much overdue response.
Akif, this is not an issue that divides people into groups. My use of word desi is for anyone from South Asia, whether they are in South Asia or not or whether they are expats or first/second generations Yankistanis or UKistanis :)
The habits are in all desis...especially #3 which is so common now that we expect it and is the questions are not asked we are surprised.