As-Salik,
I’m guessing that you are in your twenties right now. In the future when you become an old woman, your hair might turn gray and thin, your skin will become wrinkled and withered, your eyes and cheeks will have a sunken look, you might gain weight, etc . LOOK, when you are OLD, you’re going to look at pictures of yourself when you were in your 20’s and think how good-looking you were then and you’re going to appreciate your beauty that faded away.
^That’s what I tell myself when I have days where I think I don’t look so great. Look at those people who are seriously deformed or handicapped and thank Allah for what He has given you. Unless you want to opt for plastic surgery, you can’t change the way you look. So accept and embrace how you look, it’s unique, it makes you YOU. You can’t change the features Allah has given you, so why not just focus on the basics such as eating healthy/sleeping/exercising to maintain healthy skin and body…and smiling…and being a good person… (these things are enough to make someone look attractive)
The other thing I’ve noticed about you is that you keep talking about LOOKS. Are** LOOKS** the only thing that matter to you? What about intelligence, ability, and personality? Don’t you care about those things as well? When you grow old and your beauty fades away…what are you going to have left to offer in terms of character and personality? Looks will fade, but your personality stays with you forever. Unfortunately your sister is SO SHALLOW AND SUPERFICIAL that her major priority in life is **LOOKS **and nothing else. Perhaps if your sister stopped worrying about LOOKS so much, she could concentrate on improving her personality which is soooo toxic and harmful.
As-Salik, your sister’s obsession with LOOKS has made you become fixated on LOOKS as well. It’s sad to think that a person believes they have nothing to offer their family, friends, and the world but their LOOKS. What else do you have to offer? Allah also blessed you with intelligence, good character, and ability. Instead of focusing on LOOKS so much, you need to start acknowledging all your accomplishments** (good grades, awards, special recognition, compliments you have recieved, goals that you have fulfilled, any good that you have done for another person, successful relationships).** And the next time someone compliments you…simply say “Thank you,” instead of disagreeing with the person and putting yourself down. Seriously, if someone has taken the time to compliment you, why would u try to waste their efforts by putting yourself down. Praise is praise and most sincere people won’t compliment you unless they mean it.
Yes, I placed emphasis on the word LOOKS several times in my post. I didn’t do this to offend you. I was trying to show you that this is the only thing that you focused on so far and that you’ve totally ignored other important qualities. You’re a great person with a good personality and much to offer. Don’t let your sister’s superficial and insecure attitude rub off on you. I hope these links are helpful:
Building Self-esteem - Raising Self-esteem, National Mental Health Information Center
Building Self-esteem - Activities, National Mental Health Information Center