Why should MIL like or approve of her DIL?

[Sehrysh]

Re: Why should MIL like or approve of her DIL?

@Tangerine

My husband and I married out of choice, and you could say that I was somewhat imposed on his family. During our very long engagement ( 3 years) my Mother In law made no attempt to warm up to me, but was very cordial regardless. But after the wedding, and over the course of 4 years now, she has come to appreciate me as part of their family, and now relies on me for many things. From this personal experiance, I say that no, a Mother in Law is under no obligation to like or get along with any Daughter in law, but if everyone keeps an open mind and has some patience, life doesn’t have to be a constant battle.

This experience may best describe the reality. I guess what surprises me is the expectation that a MIL must automatically like or approve of the DIL and when she doesn’t, then you see threads popping up about how much the MIL hates the DIL and is making their lives a nightmare and that’s so unfair.

So long as there’s no naive expectation by the couple that they will be playing happy extended families from day one, I think maybe peaceful and respectful co-existence is possible later on.