Re: Why Punjabis Do Not Speak Punjabi With Their Kids
Going back to the original question, I'm Punjabi, but my parents preferred that we spoke Urdu instead, even though my parents converse in 100% Punjabi. The reason my mother gave me is that it sounds harsh and unladylike, and dare I say, ignorant, if spoken incorrectly. Like my mother's Punjabi is very refined and it sounds good. But then you'll see some "paindu" relative, and it sounds uneducated. My nani ama was very strict with her daughters about how Punjabi should be spoken. They couldn't use the word "paanda" for a pot, they couldn't use "roti" to describe a meal, only the bread; they couldn't use "mooray" for the word "close" (as in close and far), and dozens of other such rules. I've noticed with my cousins in Pakistan, they don't speak Punjabi, especially the girls (and this isn't only the Lahori cousins, but it also applies to the ones from gaon). They'll talk and reply in Urdu to the elders and to their friends, even if the adults are speaking to them in Punjabi.
Part of Punjabi's problem is that it's filled with blush-inducing cursewords and slang, and if spoken lazily, it sounds like the way ebonics (remember that?!) does in English. Also, since it's not an officially written language in Pakistan (although in India it is written), it has less legitimacy than Urdu. Even my thayt-Punjaban, barely literate dadi, who only speaks Punjabi, writes all of her letters in Urdu.