They says parents are saint they always think about your well being. Its consider taboo to say any words against our parents as well in our society. But why do they became extremely selfish when their children want to marry with their own choice?
I have been telling and continoulsy humbly requesting my mother and elder sister that this is the only girl for me. I have been with her for many years I am really attached with her but they didn’t listen and always gave lame excue like she is two month older than you and have a big khaandaan and aaj kal ki larkyan aise hein wse hein… they didn’t listen and now she got engage with her cousin in january.
I have left my job, my studies, don’t feel like to dress properly or eat anything. Each and everything is color less and have been ruined and now iam just on the verge of committing suicide. I haven’t spoke a word with anyone since her engagment.
I wish I could give them such a pain which i am going through which they can never forget even after i m gone.
I can totally understand your grief and anger. I agree that parents sometimes refuse the choice brought forward by the kid for potential life partner. Surprisingly, the opposition is tougher when it's the son who is asking his mother to let him marry this certain girl. Parents of girls are more lenient towards the choices if thier daughters.
Were the girl's parents ok with the marriage possibility?
I am not sure why, but after mothers who have a hard time sharing their son, sisters have a hard time sharing the brothers. That is why the next enemy of a girl after her MIL is usually her nand.
Re: Why parents became selfish against their children will of love marriage?
Hitman, if she's happy with her engagement...then what is left to do but to move on? What you can do is express (within boundaries of respect) to your mother and sister how disappointed you were with their attitudes and discuss how you want things to next time...with future rishtas.
Re: Why parents became selfish against their children will of love marriage?
I agree with the other post, as hard as it may seem, time really does heal all wounds. Just hang in there. And in the future if you ever find a perfect, respectable and loving girl and your mum and sister are against it for no actual legit reason then marry her anyways. At the end of the day it is your life and they dont seem very fair in saying no without providing suitable reasons.
Argghhh I hate such women!
But have faith in God, be patient, be calm and inshAllah everything will work out just the way its supposed to. You know what they say, sometimes it feels like everythings falling apart...but really its all falling in to place! Maybe this had to happen in order to pave way for an even better future partner for you!
Re: Why parents became selfish against their children will of love marriage?
I can totally understand your grief and anger. I agree that parents sometimes refuse the choice brought forward by the kid for potential life partner. Surprisingly, the opposition is tougher when it's the son who is asking his mother to let him marry this certain girl. Parents of girls are more lenient towards the choices if thier daughters.
Were the girl's parents ok with the marriage possibility?
Exactly.
Yo OP...not sure about your family dynamics. But i would have stood up for girl i chose to marry. I understand it can very tough..but remind your parents that..this is what you want. Eventually they do come around. As long as ya make your case strong. As for you feeling hurt buddy...we all been there...so hang in there insha'allah...
Re: Why parents became selfish against their children will of love marriage?
Sorry to read about your plight. what they did was wrong. but what with the suicide thoughts. and about this thought :I wish I could give them such a pain which i am going through which they can never forget even after i m gone, can i give you a reality check. This is real life not some mushy drama, if son God forbid you commit suicide , people will cry after you for few days and then move on in their lives , even your love will be to occupied raising her kids to perhaps recall you much. You are such a lucky person to have the opportunity to get education, go to a job, and above all the biggest blessing, your life. so get back to your studies, work , you need something to keep you occupied so you may not entertain useless thoughts(suicide, etc). and what if you stick around persistently and the future gives more than what was taken from you, then?? a dead person won't be coming back to enjoy that. and may be for the future you should learn to take a firmer stand for yourself.
Re: Why parents became selfish against their children will of love marriage?
I agree, I don't believe this is worth giving your life for.
If you have your life you may come across other good things.
Prayer and a positive attitude should help.
And wanting to hurt your mother/sister is just temporary instinct.
You will regret doing anything bad to your closest relations later.
Best wishes.
Re: Why parents became selfish against their children will of love marriage?
They says parents are saint they always think about your well being. Its consider taboo to say any words against our parents as well in our society. But why do they became extremely selfish when their children want to marry with their own choice?
I have been telling and continoulsy humbly requesting my mother and elder sister that this is the only girl for me. I have been with her for many years I am really attached with her but they didn't listen and always gave lame excuse like she is two month older than you and have a big khaandaan and aaj kal ki larkyan aise hein wse hein... they didn't listen and now she got engage with her cousin in january.
I have left my job, my studies, don't feel like to dress properly or eat anything. Each and everything is color less and have been ruined and now** i am just on the verge of committing suicide.** I haven't spoke a word with anyone since her engagment.
I wish I could give them such a pain which i am going through which they can never forget even after i m gone.
Have you talked to anyone about this? A friend or someone else, in person? If I am not wrong. your other thread regarding hating a family member was about the same thing as well, right? Your sister and mother were wrong in this case but this is how it was meant to be. Since you are suicidal, I'd suggest that you talk to someone in real life. A friend or brother or another sister may be? Also, I'd suggest that you ignore replies which have the context of ...'this is what you** should have** done. That's past, and you cannot change that. Give yourself sometime and resume doing something if not a job or studies at this time. Something creative may be.
Why parents became selfish against their children will of love marriage?
The same situation is with me these days but remember Allah knows best and if your sister and mother stopped you for VALID reasons maybe it was good for you :) Now if she is engaged move on! Life never stops.do nawt spoil your life.these days are precious specially for a girl :) stay happy :) life will give you more n more
Re: Why parents became selfish against their children will of love marriage?
I am not sure why, but after mothers who have a hard time sharing their son, sisters have a hard time sharing the brothers. That is why the next enemy of a girl after her MIL is usually her nand.
Because mother who are closer to their daughter, listen to them a lot. So if the nand is evil and doesn't want something she does have the power to influence the mother.
Re: Why parents became selfish against their children will of love marriage?
OP i feel for you. My SIL was just in your situation, but Alhumdulilah just got married. I wouldn't marry a guys who's mom or sister doesn't want me.
BUT what i don't understand is how can a son love a girl soooo much that he is willing to give up his mother...or hurt her in anyway.
Love isn't everything. Peace of mind is very important. The love will fade when you have no peace in life. You will be left with a hurt mother (evil saas for your wife,) a misrable wife and a lot of fighting.
