One of my bestest buddies on the planet is pissing me off. As in she is about to get her head bitten off by me. Here is the reason:
Im a very open minded person. By that I mean I try not to have any preconceived notions or ideas about any race, ethnicity or creed. I deal with people as just that...human beings who happen to be darker, lighter, heavier, hairier, whatever. The point is, I dont care if you're Indian, Puerto Rican, Punjabi, Nigerian, Mahajir, Swiss or anything for that matter...I will speak to you like I would speak to someone of the same nationality/ethnicity/origin as myself. Ive been told that is a very ABCD mentality...like its a bad thing to leave prejudice behind and only the refined and cultured should hold onto their ideas of bigotry.
I grew up in the States in a completely white-washed area...I had my share of racism thrown at me and I refuse to be a part of the problem.
The philosophy I live by is simple: I will not contribute to any sort of hate towards anyone. I may not be enough to change the world but I will do my part. NO, I dont hate Indians or India. NO, I dont think Punjabis are Paindus. NO, I dont think Black people deserve to live in slums. Someday, someone will turn around and sling that mud right back at me and at that point...I wont be so innocent myself.
She does not get this and the issue is she is my best friend. I see her and talk to her almost everyday! How can I be buddies with someone like this? Her views literally make me want to throw up and I feel like screaming at her. Instead, I argue my point and then switch topics. Its becoming a problem in our friendship now...tension and just complete annoyance! We were at Pier 1 and dropped something at the register because it was MADE IN INDIA! And now, Punjabis are snide, backstabbers who run around cutting peoples' throats left and right. I HATE LISTENING TO THIS KIND OF CRAP!!!
What do I do? WHY ME???!!!
P.S. - She wasnt like this before...this is a recent development.
Hey Reha,
You say that your friend wasn't like this before and this is a recent development.......so any idea what's going on with her? Did something happen with her recently that might have triggered such a negative outlook?
Try talking to her, Reha. Sit her down and tell her that you've never seen her act like this before and ask her if everything is okay. I remember you saying your friend is Desi (Aisha?)....but if she's from a different background, try telling her that you love her regardless of her background and your appreciate her as an individual. Tell her how her comments make you feel and why they bother you. For example, let's say that she's making anti-Punjabi comments for instance....you can tell her that you have many Punjabi friends and that it makes you feel uncomfortable hearing her say such negative comments.
Try educating her........expose her to friendly people from groups that she is prejudiced about. And sometimes you find yourself in a situation where you have to tell your friend that negative comments are bringing negative energy into your relationship and is weighing it down. I've been there before.....and sometimes a straightforward discussion really helps.