Have you tried talking to your husband about all this in a calm rational manner? Not fighting or arguing.... just sit down calmly and tell him how you feel. Tell him you're unhappy and you need a better relationship and you're willing to work on your marriage alongwith him, if he's interested..... no emotional drama... just say it all rationally. Ask him what does he need to see in you, to spark your married life.
Sometimes life just get so routine and we women ignore all the early warning signs and regret it later..... maybe you guys can leave the kids with your in-laws or parents and go for a small vacation together and try to really talk to each other and spend some quality time together.
By the way, my husband is also the totally unromantic type and all that he does when he comes home is watch TV and get on his laptop, so that part is totally normal..... some men are like that. But chatting with other females and going out for lunches with them one-on-one is not.
Meena, if you don't know, then you have to get to a place where you do know. So maybe concentrate on yourself for a bit, try changing your routine a little, take up learning something new. Spend more time with friends and loved ones. When you have a little more confidence in yourself then think through this issue again.
Meenabazaar, I was saddened to read your post. You have already been given alot of great avice here, so not sure what I can say furthermore but still as a married woman I will try to advice the best I can inshallah. Firstly, you do need to speak to your hubby about what is going on, why he is this way with you. Try to look decent , dress up, look nice smell nice be fun, ( i know it can;t be easy if he is treating you this way) but show him you are a fun person more than the women he chats to. No matter what, he should not behave this way, communication is the key!!! Only then can you identify where the problem is, why he is straying for attention elsewhere. Do you go out as a couple/family together? If not then make effort to have dinner at home , make a fuss about it, show him you care, want his attention...GET HIS ATTENTION.
As for work, what are you good at? try to use that skill/hobby in a way so you can work from home. of course your children need you so you do need to be with them.
I hope you can sort this out soon.
...ehh well i already told u guys i did all those thing im a good looking woman i tried each and evry thing im also funny ....... i have lots of friends but my hubby dont like me to go out with friends so i left it.............i cant go out alone leaving my children to whom??? i cant do a job bcuz of my little one and ur talking abt classes where to leave my kids? who will make lunch for my son if im out no one at home.....its not easy ..........
Jolie how can i take a long holiday How where my kids go? wat abt there school wat abt my husbands job? Im so important that he will take me to a holiday?i already talk to my husband he said ghalati hogaye next time nahin hoga but this is wat he said ussey pehlay he treated me like a insect...
and now wat is left? mein bhi ghalti karoon aur phir sab kuch theek hoga?
It may sound like a crazy idea, but I think you guys need to have a fight. You need to vent all your emotions, let him HEAR your frustration, let him see that there's a massive storm behind your silence which has pained you for so long. Don't get me wrong, I'm not asking you to call your husband names or fight to break the relationship, but I think you need to make him hear about suffering loud and clear. Let him see you break down, lets see if he feels sorry for you. Lets see if your moment of madness moves him. And I'm really not joking.
Maybe he is jealous that you are good looking, have many friends so he is perhaps suppressing you somewhat. Whatever it is, you guys need to talk, yell, scream whatever it takes for change to happen. Jolie's advice might work.
jolie and mrs NM i already did that but Result is 0% im screaming crying he was quiet .....................khamoshi lambi phir main hi chup hogaye ..............