Why is it...

Why is it that in some cultures it has now become the norm for the women’s side not to ask for a man’s hand in marriage. Women are expected to sit twiddling their thumbs waiting for marriage proposals from men. Didn’t Khadijah (R.A) propose to the Prophet (Pbuh)?

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are you talking about some cultures or desi culture??

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Its a culture thing got nothing to do with Islam.

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Actually white culture is the worst when it comes to this. Us Muslims are pretty lucky because there is always an underlying assumption when a girl and guy are dating or even getting introduced, it is primarily for marriage purposes. White women on the other hand date for years only to realize that their boyfriend has no intention of proposing to them. They date a guy for 5 years waiting to be asked that special question. It's kind of absurd. With so much 'freedom' and 'liberation' in their culture, they still wait for the guy to propose to them. I honestly don't think desi girls have that kind of patience and need to know right from the start where the relationship is headed which is great! In fact some will often ask the guy when he is sending his parents over or when he is visiting her parents to get the ball rolling. White girls usually can't dream of doing such a thing and need to wait for the guy to make the move.

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did u just try to say that desi culture is better than gora culture?? like seriously??

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go on - break the norms

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That way women can practice their evolutionary right to reject dudes.

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Because. Men have huge ego's. It's a 'man's' duty to propose. 'Culturally' seen.
Women shouldn't hurt the ego of a man. Ya know. 'Culturally' seen.

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You are talking about desi dating which is a combination of modern/ Western culture along with a desi culture twist where guys feel pressured to send their parents soon and thus the desi aspect of man's side proposing the girl directly or through the family which you rightly said is much much better than western dating.

In a more desi setting (or call it arranged setting), the guy's family is considered to make a move which is JUST a cultural thing and not Islamic compulsion.

I have seen girl's side approaching the guy's side through mediator or common friend but they still just give a hint and then wait for the formal proposal from the guy's side. Again a cultural thing only.

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So the question is how many of you girls and your family would be ok approaching the guy's family? Howcome we all say why this or that doesnt happen but are not yet ready to make that move on our own.

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I think majority of the girls and their families are NOT comfortable in approaching the guys families in arranged setting. Even the rishte wali aunties do not give the contacts of guys' side to girls families and they make the guy's mom call girl's mom because THIS IS THE NORM...

In love marriages, girls can force the guys the send the proposal and this also shows that its the guys' side which should be bringing the proposal to the girls side.

Re: Why is it…

Han i know that is the norm BUT if people are having issues with it then why wait for somebody else to change it for you, why not do it yourself?!

And i am sure money is all what the rishte waley log are concerned with, what is it to them who makes the first move :halo:.

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They can change the norm but kaam tau chal raha hai na :stuck_out_tongue: so why bother :smiley: And rishte walay log are more like Hawww log kia kahain ge etc etc

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Yes what an issue. Is it even a big deal in the west anymore where our girls get married to goras now, but I forgot UK pakis live in a time bubble.