Why is it such a big deal?

actaually..4rm my experience..its not ok 4 guyz to go out n stay out late with guyz.i know my parents, specially my mum nd my chachi nd my other relatives here do not like this..they dont accept it. they do try 2 put their foot down with sons but..its harder 2 control the betas than betians. so its not htat htey dont object , they do but its harder to keep them in their kaboo. i think guz n girlz r accoutnabl e 2 the same standards. 4rm my experience that is.

i know lots of aunties n desi women(my mum included) who ARE aware that a girl bieng a hijaban does not automatically mean that she is shareef. quite the contrary they've heard stories n d it circulates among the aunties sotries of 'corrupt hijabans' who under the guise of the hijab try 2 get away with alot.

and in my family nd others ive seens here if desi guyz do something, pkstni community DOES NOT just ignore it cause hes a guy...oh no...if they get an inkling of his staying out late, having girlfriends, wrose things also etc...tehy defame the heck out of him nd his family..believe u me! not only here abroad but they try 2 get his risthidaares 2 know so they can humiliate him in his whole baradari community. ive seen it i know..im not exagerating here. nd it also becomes tough to get rishtas 4 guyz also. sometimes if ppl know wher ur going 2 do/want 2 do betas rsihta, tehy go there nad inform them of everything heh has done or wha thtey think he s like bcs of hte struff theyve heard. abroad nad pkstn. but if hte guy finds some girl himself..then it is easier 4 him 2 get married then the girl yeah..but these dayz our girlz r also finding their life partners by themselves baroad n stuff n actually even in pkstn(but htas rare i know).

my point is that 4rm what iv seen up closen stuff guyz r also held up 2 c ertian standsards..nd htey have 2 pay price of defamation of character just like the girlz do if hteyr caught or gossiped about or found out about or whatever. mayb its not as equal or 2 the extent that girl do but its no that far of either.

agian this is 4rm what iv seen up close n personal wiht rlatifes n desi commnty here in norht america.

Re: Why is it such a big deal?

Shikra, that is what I am saying that if you haven't seen or heard doesn't means that it does not happens.