Re: Why is it so odd…
After is the keyword here , he needs to feel the pain before he is rukhsatified , but wiat then he might refuse to get married if he finds out what girl’s side has to go through to get their lovey dovey daughters married off.
It is a catch 22 situation here. 
Re: Why is it so odd...
LOL some girls need to get over themselves. This isn't the 13th century and you are not some princess hiding away in her castle, while your parents deal with suitors arriving daily asking for your hand in marriage. Why not take an active role in choosing your life partner? I don't see the point of all these "interview" and "investigation" sessions involving the family, when the two most important people haven't even met yet. I like the whole I am too important to just grace a random guy with my precense attitude. OMG he is gonna LOOK at me. Hello this guy is looking for a spouse just like you are. Even if he is a total stranger at least his family and yours have some connection which is why the meeting is happening in the first place. You talk to random guys everyday, at work, at school, in the mall, on the street, on gupshup. Get real. Insecurity and lack of self confidence is a huge turn off.
As for the whole OMG they might MISUSE the picture issue, once again, get over yourself. You are not some drop dead gorgeous celebrity that every guy is gonna wanna keep a picture of you in their wallet or showoff to all their buddies on facebook. Or create a fake a profile somewhere. Uh huh this is the girl I almost married. Chances are it will be deleted or left buried in some inbox as soon as they lose interest.
Face it, you're a big girl now, you are getting married. Be positive, proactive and approachable. This will lead to less complaining before marriage, oh why arent there any rishtas and less complaining after marriage oh why is this person such an a-hole?
Re: Why is it so odd...
this is what we did basically. checked out the guy first. i didnt even have to tell my parents that this is what should be done. by the time i was presented with the guy, they had checked him out so much on their own. and even THEN i was like, id like to see his parents, i dont want to be checked out as such
If instead of checking out the girl first, the girl's family checks out the guy first and procede with the rishta accordingly.
I think if more of the girls family take a stand on this we can change this trend and make it easier for the whole society. We are always crying over the wrong of our society but we don't realise if we dont take a step and become the agents of change, it wl keep on going like this.
Yes its not easy because when you ask the potential rishta people for this, they dont take it kindly and vanish BUT would you want to get hitched into such a family which believes it's ok to check out the girl (basically have a lavish lunch for free) first but its not ok if the girls family demands to check out the guy first. That according to me is super pathetic!
Re: Why is it so odd...
As for the whole OMG they might MISUSE the picture issue, once again, get over yourself. You are not some drop dead gorgeous celebrity that every guy is gonna wanna keep a picture of you in their wallet or showoff to all their buddies on facebook.
BUT what if we're that drop dead gorgeous?! :P i'm playing :)
I agree with most of what you said. if it were to be a meeting between him and I, I wouldn't mind. But in that case, I'd be seeing him in a restaurant setting, not a home setting. The whole concept of you're on my turf or vice versa doesn't sit well with me. That's just my opinion though
Re: Why is it so odd...
I would like to see another trend , instead of marrying off the girl to a boy, a boy is married off to a girl and the boy is rukhsatified . The boys side sings sad songs and all. That would be real change IMO. No ?
r we suppose to laugh at this or cry for the lack of humor?
LOL some girls need to get over themselves. This isn't the 13th century and you are not some princess hiding away in her castle, while your parents deal with suitors arriving daily asking for your hand in marriage. Why not take an active role in choosing your life partner? I don't see the point of all these "interview" and "investigation" sessions involving the family, when the two most important people haven't even met yet. I like the whole I am too important to just grace a random guy with my precense attitude. OMG he is gonna LOOK at me. Hello this guy is looking for a spouse just like you are. Even if he is a total stranger at least his family and yours have some connection which is why the meeting is happening in the first place. You talk to random guys everyday, at work, at school, in the mall, on the street, on gupshup. Get real. Insecurity and lack of self confidence is a huge turn off.
As for the whole OMG they might MISUSE the picture issue, once again, get over yourself. You are not some drop dead gorgeous celebrity that every guy is gonna wanna keep a picture of you in their wallet or showoff to all their buddies on facebook. Or create a fake a profile somewhere. Uh huh this is the girl I almost married. Chances are it will be deleted or left buried in some inbox as soon as they lose interest.
Face it, you're a big girl now, you are getting married. Be positive, proactive and approachable. This will lead to less complaining before marriage, oh why arent there any rishtas and less complaining after marriage oh why is this person such an a-hole?
Lols. I wonder why and how GS attracts all wanna be smart a$$es?!
IF you are someone who finds it better to find your partner on your own, good for you. BUT stop judging those who may not want to go this way. You think you are showing "modern" views but i think its really backward of you to look down on people who are reserved by nature or who may be more cautious about sharing their personal stuff i.e pics, etc. Maybe its time you get out of your bubble and meet up with the "normal" people and you will know that all these kinds of misuses do happen with people hence the reservation. If you are ok with having your pics distributed among unknown people to then more power to you.
Re: Why is it so odd...
I have heard in some communities and cast (i am not sure which one), girls family send proposals to guys family...... and it happens in Pakistan... and they don't feel awkward. So i think it depends on families and their customs.
I think there should be no hard and fast rule... if girls family like any guy they can send their daughter's proposal and vice versa. I don't like the part where someone has said that their families should meet first and then guy and girl. I think in marriages.... meeting of boy and girl is more important... baharal rehna tu un dono ney sath hai na........... so i think there is no harm in meeting with guy and his family at girls house. But i don't like situations where guys family comes but guy doesn't with lame excuses "he is very busy" "he was not at home" etc..... agar first meeting main larka aur larki mil lein tu koi problem nahin hai.