Re: Why is he so indifferent?
I’d caution you to tell friends. Friends are to keep you company while you watch a movie or swap recipes with, not to disclose personal problems to regarding relationships, children an work. There are some things that are private, and can get misused if you trust others with your personal info.
So no do not ***** about your husband to friends. If he did that to you, I’m sure that would create another fight and on desi circles things have a way of getting around. Can’t tell you how easily I could use info on some of my divulging friends to ruin their marriages!
It’s definitely difficult for me to tolerate your situation with the advice I gave.
So I’ll tell you what I would do but that might not work for you, in fact as long as you have in laws like the typical desis you describe then only God can help you. Big reason why I stayed away from most desi families - I did not want to be cleaning up after dawats every week for my in laws.
They want to hold a dawat, make it clear to them you have other stuff to do and will not have time to clean up after their dawat. That if you actually have other things to do. Otherwise If I had nothing to do I’d help but I would not be ok if everyone just sat there. First I’d ask husband to help me tie up the garbage bags. Then I’d ask his siblings by addressing them directly - pinky, aap yeh plates kachray mein pekh sakti hain? Shaahbash phir aap apni music videos baad mein dekh Le na.
If the family goes into an uproar into this I’d let them know that I’m surprised at their attitude of not wishing to help and that next time they can show me how theyd like me to handle a clean up by demonstrating a clean up themselves and then at that point I would refuse to help clean up dawats that are arranged by other people. That’s in a situation where I would have zero husband support.