Being able to support yourself. That’s the key. That’s what I tell my sister. It’s all right to hope for someone who’ll earn a for the household while you take care of the kids and shop for lawn. However you have to prepare yourself for the worst case scenario. What if you husband turns out to be a douche. What if you have kids and then he turns into a douche. You’ll have to put up with him if you can’t support yourself and the kids(cause you’re the only parent that cares for them). You’ll be too scared.
I tell my sis, hey I might turn into a douche too and not help you out, not that I plan on doing that. But people change and you yourself are the only one you can depend on.
I would really argue on the phrase ‘want to get married late’ Yes, it is happening quite often that the girls get married quite late but from what these girls have mentioned doesn’t imply that they wanted it to be late.
One major issue that’s ignored in the thread is the fact that, its not easy finding a good match.
so you all think that the emphasis of islam on getting married early was pointless? whatever the prophet said about marrying as soon as possible was just fazool baatain?
I think times have changed and if every women and men who are Muslim were to marry at a young age we wouldn’t have many educated, brilliant Muslims out in the world.
Granted there are girls who want to get married as early as possible but are they ready for it? Do you really think an 18year old would be ready to take care of another person (a stranger mind you) even though she can’t even support herself.
Besides modern humanity (by that I mean 21st century) can’t really live by how it was when the prophet was alive because being monogamous has become standard. Divorcees are not welcomed and a lot of couples can’t/don’t live by themselves.
Right.. As soon as possible. Which is not “as soon as the parents or others feel fit…”
As soon as the girl (and guy) is mentally and physically ready to go from being a child into becoming an adult and having a family.
The, so called,* need *for getting married at an early age is to prevent sins. But… As long as one knows who he/ she is and knows their boundaries, this shouldn’t even be an issue.
No one can **force **any one into Nikkah. If the girl is ready, she obviously wouldn’t say no.
Absolutely! Not only financially, but also emotionally.
I hate it when men think women should be emotionally dependent on them. You never know what’s going to happen tomorrow. What if the guy isn’t around any more? Then, the girl who once used to be independent, now has to retrain her mind to be able to think for her self and make decisions which are for her.
Being able to hold your own head up in ANY situation is great. Having a plan “B” doesn’t mean that you’re expecting plan “A” to be flawed or not work out. There is nothing wrong with preparing your self before a storm hits.
I don’t think girls want to delay marriage so much but what happens in our society is that when a girl completes her grad degree and starts working, she’s usually over the “masoom” age expected by other desi brothers. She has now stepped into the “chalaak” category as defined by neighborhood aunties and is “tez” as she earns her own living and will therefore “rule” her husband, so automatically, her potential rishta pool diminishes as prospective MILs are suddenly insecure.
You see what I’m saying?
So it’s actually the fault of the so-called educated desi man who still remains more jaahil than ever.
[OMG, I can’t believe I wrote that. Feels so good to not be a CM/mod anymore. ]
Disclaimer: The above statements are generalized and not applicable to all desi men, especially the ones on GS who are totally awesome.
If the girl is ready, she obviously wouldn’t say no.
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