She has a good personality
For the most part, that is basically it.
Women on the otherhand are far different creatures.
Their list of requirements may look something like this:
He has to be tall and handsome
He must have a job - Ok Job is Important
He must have a car
He must have good education (college degree)
He must be romantic
He must be funny
He must have an income above $-------?
He needs to be well dressed
He must have his own apartment or house
He must have a muscular body
He must like taking me out to places
…etc. (the list can literally go on and on)
Why are women this way?
A woman’s love seems far more conditional than a man’s love.
Most men (at least myself and friends included) are willing to look past all the minor details and we’ll accept a woman for who she is and we won’t judge her because she’s poor, or doesn’t have a car, etc.
Unfortunately, most women I’ve run into don’t think the same way. They keep themselves on a high pedestal and act as if man should bow down and kiss their stinky feet.
No thanks, I want a REAL woman, not a materialistic needy leech!
Well its not about picky but if you read again your first post… you have summarised girl’s picks in two points and mentioned it as guy’s picks.. Nhi smaj aaya? Suno:
Point no. 1 4 5 6 8 & 10 are guy’s point no.1 & 2, while 2 7 9 11 to larki ka haqq hy … Hr lihaaz se… So dont b smart
well ill tell you what. You tell us what you think a REAL women is. Then we'll sign you upto halfyourdeen.com ( made that up btw dont go searching for it)
btw we have more than just 2 criterias. (i do anyways)
Let's suppose it was your sister's rishta. Wouldn't you want someone can love her, make her laugh, provide for her and make her feel safe in every way?
I don't think its too much to ask for. As far as looks go, that really comes down to perspective. If you are a skinny guy (like me) I know for a fact not all girls want their man to be bulging with muscles. Besides, it's up to you on which girl you go for and how you choose to charm them. Every girl looks for someone who is "attractive" but attractive means different things to different girls.
Also once something gets going with a girl I'm sure she wont leave if you get fat, lose your job, have to sell your car etc
Furthermore, I think in our culture it's the men who are more picky and annoying with extreme double standards and unrealistic (and just silly) expectations.
"I go out partying, drinking, have a shady past but want a good clean virgin who hasn't touched a guy"
"She's too dark"
"She's not white enough"
"She's too fat"
"She's too skinny"
"She has to be extremely educated but be prepared to be a house wife"
I have a sister who's approaching the age where we will be looking for a rishta and am not looking forward to putting up with the crap girls have to go through.
I'd say in our culture, men are definitely the picky ones.
As a guy here i am telling you this..and not taking sides here buddy..but here it one thing. I see girls are far more educated than guys here. At least in west and what i see around me. So why shouldn't they desire to be someone who is at least their equal footing?. Equal in their achievement..that is what i meant.
And yes i agree girls do get picky that is because..there is so much going on behind the scenes. Girls that i personally i know who are from very good family, have an amazing characteristics and personality...all they are asking is someone who can respect them, be loyal, truly take care of them. But most of us get into ishq and mohabbat in peak years of our lives, smoke, drink and basically do whatever it is strictly forbidden. So who is at fault here?
I told you this to give you other side of picture..so may be you can rationally think. And..i said above not to generalize all the fellas. Exception is always there. So lets hope for the best and pray for everyone.
You said you're a doctor right. Well Alhamdulli'lah you have worked hard to achieve where you are..but you said it yourself..you were liberal guy. So i am not sure what kind of liberal are we talking about here. But..analyze yourself. Which is that..i think it is YOU who is being picky. You did whatever you needed to do and now..all of a sudden you need a pious wife. May Allah forgives us all..and make us humble.
you have basically summarized a lot of points into just 2 points. Very smart
your point 1 i.e shes attractive consists of sub points and means
she is beautiful, pretty
shes good heighted
she has a sleek figure
she should not be fat
she should not be skinny
she should have a pointed thin nose
she has a silky hair with good volume
she should be Fair ( and in Pakistan fair for girls means literally being white like a cow’s milk.)
she has a salon like pedicured feet and manicured hands
okay and your 2nd point i.e has a good personality translates into:
she is well dressed
she respects elders.
she is soft spoken.
she can interact on different levels to different people.
she is good natured in general.
she carries herself well.
she has a soft heart for your relatives, friends.
she has a soft heart for the poor and helps them around.
she is well educated
she has a nice taste to decorate home
she has good administrative and management skills to run the house.
she is patient.
she is well rounded person.
so well, you see your 2 points are the summary of the total 22 points.
so this shows guys are much more picky than the girls.
and as for girls being picky, if they see the income level and education level of the guy this doesn’t ean they are picky but they are being practical. it is very much practical and alright to see this in a guy as he has to support his home, his wife, his kids, his parents and siblings to in some cases. so it is very much logical to see the income level and education level of the guy from the perspective of economics.
for all other points mentioned like tall, handsome, muscular body etc etc are not close to reality. i agree some girls do reject proposals on these basis but those are very low in numbers and hence this can not be generalized for all girls.
you have basically summarized a lot of points into just 2 points. Very smart :)
your point 1 i.e shes attractive consists of sub points and means
1. she is beautiful, pretty
2. shes good heighted
3. she has a sleek figure
4. she should not be fat
5. she should not be skinny
6. she should have a pointed thin nose
7. she has a silky hair with good volume
8. she should be Fair ( and in Pakistan fair for girls means literally being white like a cow's milk.)
9. she has a salon like pedicured feet and manicured hands
okay and your 2nd point i.e has a good personality translates into:
1. she is well dressed
2. she respects elders.
3. she is soft spoken.
4. she can interact on different levels to different people.
5. she is good natured in general.
6. she carries herself well.
7. she has a soft heart for your relatives, friends.
8. she has a soft heart for the poor and helps them around.
9. she is well educated
10. she has a nice taste to decorate home
11. she has good administrative and management skills to run the house.
12. she is patient.
13. she is well rounded person.
so well, you see your 2 points are the summary of the total 22 points.
so this shows guys are much more picky than the girls.
and as for girls being picky, if they see the income level and education level of the guy this doesn't ean they are picky but they are being practical. it is very much practical and alright to see this in a guy as he has to support his home, his wife, his kids, his parents and siblings to in some cases. so it is very much logical to see the income level and education level of the guy from the perspective of economics.
for all other points mentioned like tall, handsome, muscular body etc etc are not close to reality. i agree some girls do reject proposals on these basis but those are very low in numbers and hence this can not be generalized for all girls.
And here's the answer from the link OP provided that basically answers your question:
"Why would a woman want some one that is short and ugly with no job and rides a bus. She doesn't want someone that is stupid unromantic and boring with no money. She doesn't want to be with someone that embarrasses her because he dresses like a slob and lives either with his parents or in a box by the railroad tracks. And she certainly doesn't want to just go for walks or stay home with you because she can do that any time by herself. You have to imagine yourself in the woman's place. You don't have to have all of these things you mentioned but you have to at least try to be the best you can be."
I dunno. I think I've earned the right to be picky.
What's funny is that OP kind of, sort of has a point. All the girls I know are picky and find the most miniscule thing wrong with a guy. One friend actually said she didn't like the guy's sideburns and his laugh but EVERYTHING else was fine, so that rishta was done. Next girl said her rishta was too skinny and was embarrassed to be seen with him, again personality was nice and he was a doctor. Both are still single, not shocking. Of all the guys I know, they've pretty much just married because they liked the girl and got along with her, they weren't supermodels and I'm sure they had a couple of flaws, but they settled (I don't mean settle in that sense but you know) and are happy.
Lol, both women and men place stupid demands on each other these days. They look past the core values hence why divorce rates are so high. In particularly a large increase in Muslim divorce rates.
And here we go again.
