As it is allowed in our relgion to have four wives many people find this kinda amusing (non muslims)
and ask many questions relating that … what should i tell them? i just cant convince them
Your objective in talking to another person about your way of life shouldnt be to convince them. You are going to have a hard time if that is your objective. You should simply relate the information, explain how it is not encouraged, how the reference is often used to take widows under your care (as the Prophet(saw) did), and then by telling them majority of muslims only have one wife, because you are supposed to be able to treat them equally. Also explain how if a previous wife doesnt agree, she may divorce on those grounds. If they find it unacceptable, tell them that you also find things unacceptable with others beliefs, but you understand its their way of life, not yours.
This is what I would do. My opinion.
Dear Munni, if your explanation is correct, then why only four wives, why not more……?
i think we muslims miss out a important message in this question, ppl take this issue of man in islam marrying 4 times as a mere joke, well.. we tend to forget that only if under severe circumstances things don't go your way or something happens that will jepordise the relationship and the surroundin ppl related to you THEN you marry again but with the 1st wife's lawful permission,
i hate men who marry 4 times for no reason whatsoever and say OH AMN ISLAM SAYS I CAN MARRY 4 TIMES,,,,... bull****!!!! use your sense.
ppl also forget that or holy prophet hazrat mohammed-e-mustafa (s.a.w) did nakaa with lots of bewa (widow) women simply cos' the samaaj (society) gave the women a bad name when they were on their own, ppl also exploit this fact and say our prophet did it why not we>
i believe this is a very big issue and can't be put through others heads/minds justifiably.
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*Originally posted by anand: *
Dear Munni, if your explanation is correct, then why only four wives, why not more……?
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So you think polygamy is wrong?
Re: Why four wives?
tell them in the west you are allowed 1 wife and unlimited mistresses… 
ohhhh that is goooooood I like that…
:k: 
@ abdali
this answer should help, got it from www.irf.net
*Question:
Why is a man allowed to have more than one wife in Islam? i.e. why is polygamy allowed in Islam?*
Answer:
1 Definition of Polygamy
Polygamy means a system of marriage whereby one person has more than one spouse. Polygamy can be of two types. One is polygyny where a man marries more than one woman, and the other is polyandry, where a woman marries more than one man. In Islam, limited polygyny is permitted; whereas polyandry is completely prohibited.
Now coming to the original question, why is a man allowed to have more than one wife?
2 The Qur’an is the only religious scripture in the world that says,"marry only one"
The Qur’an is the only religious book, on the face of this earth, that contains the phrase ‘marry only one’. There is no other religious book that instructs men to have only one wife. In none of the other religious scriptures, whether it be the Vedas, the Ramayan, the Mahabharat, the Geeta, the Talmud or the Bible does one find a restriction on the number of wives. According to these scriptures one can marry as many as one wishes. It was only later, that the Hindu priests and the Christian Church restricted the number of wives to one.
Many Hindu religious personalities, according to their scriptures, had multiple wives. King Dashrat, the father of Rama, had more than one wife. Krishna had several wives.
In earlier times, Christian men were permitted as many wives as they wished, since the Bible puts no restriction on the number of wives. It was only a few centuries ago that the Church restricted the number of wives to one.
Polygyny is permitted in Judaism. According to Talmudic law, Abraham had three wives, and Solomon had hundreds of wives. The practice of polygyny continued till Rabbi Gershom ben Yehudah (95% C.E to 1030 C.E) issued an edict against it. The Jewish Sephardic communities living in Muslim countries continued the practice till as late as 1950, until an Act of the Chief Rabbinate of Israel extended the ban on marrying more than one wife.
3 Hindus are more polygynous than Muslims
The report of the ‘Committee of The Status of Woman in Islam’, published in 1975 mentions on page numbers 66 and 67 that the percentage of polygamous marriages between the years 1951 and 1961 was 5.06% among the Hindus and only 4.31% among the Muslims. According to Indian law only Muslim men are permitted to have more than one wife. It is illegal for any non-Muslim in India to have more than one wife. Despite it being illegal, Hindus have more multiple wives as compared to Muslims. Earlier, there was no restriction even on Hindu men with respect to the number of wives allowed. It was only in 1954, when the Hindu Marriage Act was passed that it became illegal for a Hindu to have more than one wife. At present it is the Indian Law that restricts a Hindu man from having more than one wife and not the Hindu scriptures.
Let us now analyse why Islam allows a man to have more than one wife.
4 Qur’an permits limited polygyny
As I mentioned earlier, Qur’an is the only religious book on the face of the earth that says ‘marry only one’. The context of this phrase is the following verse from Surah Nisa of the Glorious Qur’an:
"Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one."
[Al-Qur’an 4:3]
Before the Qur’an was revealed, there was no upper limit for polygyny and many men had scores of wives, some even hundreds. Islam put an upper limit of four wives. Islam gives a man permission to marry two, three or four women, only on the condition that he deals justly with them.
In the same chapter i.e. Surah Nisa verse 129 says:
"Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women...."
[Al-Qur’an 4:129]
Therefore polygyny is not a rule but an exception. Many people are under the misconception that it is compulsory for a Muslim man to have more than one wife.
Broadly, Islam has five categories of Do’s and Don’ts:
‘Fard’ i.e. compulsory or obligatory
‘Mustahab’ i.e. recommended or encouraged
‘Mubah’ i.e. permissible or allowed
‘Makruh’ i.e. not recommended or discouraged
‘Haraam’ i.e. prohibited or forbidden
Polygyny falls in the middle category of things that are permissible. It cannot be said that a Muslim who has two, three or four wives is a better Muslim as compared to a Muslim who has only one wife.
5 Average life span of females is more than that of males
By nature males and females are born in approximately the same ratio. A female child has more immunity than a male child. A female child can fight the germs and diseases better than the male child. For this reason, during the pediatric age itself there are more deaths among males as compared to the females.
During wars, there are more men killed as compared to women. More men die due to accidents and diseases than women. The average life span of females is more than that of males, and at any given time one finds more widows in the world than widowers.
6 India has more male population than female due to female foeticide and infanticide
India is one of the few countries, along with the other neighbouring countries, in which the female population is less than the male population. The reason lies in the high rate of female infanticide in India, and the fact that more than one million female foetuses are aborted every year in this country, after they are identified as females. If this evil practice is stopped, then India too will have more females as compared to males.
7 World female population is more than male population
In the USA, women outnumber men by 7.8 million. New York alone has one million more females as compared to the number of males, and of the male population of New York one-third are gays i.e sodomites. The U.S.A as a whole has more than twenty-five million gays. This means that these people do not wish to marry women. Great Britain has four million more females as compared to males. Germany has five million more females as compared to males. Russia has nine million more females than males. God alone knows how many million more females there are in the whole world as compared to males.
8 Restricting each and every man to have only one wife is not practical
Even if every man got married to one woman, there would still be more than thirty million females in U.S.A who would not be able to get husbands (considering that America has twenty five million gays). There would be more than four million females in Great Britain, 5 million females in Germany and nine million females in Russia alone who would not be able to find a husband.
Suppose my sister happens to be one of the unmarried women living in USA, or suppose your sister happens to be one of the unmarried women in USA. The only two options remaining for her are that she either marries a man who already has a wife or becomes public property. There is no other option. All those who are modest will opt for the first.
In Western society, it is common for a man to have mistresses and/or multiple extra-marital affairs, in which case, the woman leads a disgraceful, unprotected life. The same society, however, cannot accept a man having more than one wife, in which women retain their honourable, dignified position in society and lead a protected life.
Thus the only two options before a woman who cannot find a husband is to marry a married man or to become public property. Islam prefers giving women the honourable position by permitting the first option and disallowing the second.
There are several other reasons, why Islam has permitted limited polygyny, but it is mainly to protect the modesty of women.
4 wives is not love, it's lust.
THEN you marry again but with the 1st wife's lawful permission,<<
Insolent mind, do you have any evidence from Islam (ayat or hadith) which says that a man needs permissions from the first wife to marry another time? I don't think I have read any such restriction, but then again, if you have any such evidence please bring forward.
Secondly, to the question, why four and not more (or less)? Then the simple answer is that it is in the Quran, which is the word of Allah (God Almighty). We (the muslims) need not question, nor need to find logical reasons for the direct commands of our Creator, Allah Ta'llah. Its as simple as that.
Because the God’s devine database management system has a two bit number as wife_id. Data for more than 4 wives cant be stored.
someone has already mentioned above, but i think it is very important to realize that most ppl, even muslims, think more than one wife is allowed in islam....
IT IS CONDITIONAL where a man is allowed to have 4 wives and that too under strict orders (within that special condition) that u treat them all equal otherwise not more than one....
ppl who normally marry more than one ARE WRONG....
I will certainly mistake that 11 binary code by eleven
thank u for the replies ppl an homo ill make a note of that
y not? lol
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*Originally posted by Lord Drizzt: *
4 wives is not love, it's lust.
[/QUOTE]
Only horny people will think that. When you come back to senses, think about women in poor societies where they can't live on their own and husband dies, do they have to go to street for begging? This "4 wives" is a provision, you CAN marry 4 women, not you HAVE to. And the toughest of all, you have to treat them equally.
With all due respect (and I don't think a whole lot is due) this is a rule that in present day world inhumane, chauvinistic and barbaric. Whether by Muslim or Mormon or anyother. Apart from being downright stupid, it is in direct contradiction with everyother law in most countries because they're all trying to bring about equality. I find all argurements presented in quotes such as the posted by Homosapien mere attempts to aid an arguement that is totally on false grounds and the guilt felt by whoever wrote it clearly shows. Just plain dumb and India and other countries that permit such 4 wives provision must ban it asap. Otherwise all the claims of women's equality is hypocritical.
aravamudhan... With due respect, I think I will disagree with your assertions.
I think having two wives is not disrespectful. What is disrespectful is to have a mistress and to indulge in immoral sexual activities with someone who is not your lawful spouse. To divorce a good wife and leave her on her own, and live away from your children, just so you can marry a different woman with whom you have established illicit sexual relations. That is disrespectful to me. May not be to you. We are two different people.
It is impossible, if not downright impractical, to have one-size-fits-all theory to such matters. We pass judgements based on our cultural and educational values inherited from the time we are born. A person born and brought up in a non-muslim environment will have to struggle just an extra bit to understand the muslim laws, just as any muslim will have to struggle to understand the life-style of Americans having open sex lives, or swinging life-style or some African tribes practicing polyandry. We find it hard to comprehend, because we are not raised like that. Similarly you are having trouble understanding why in the world would anyone permit four wives to one man. You call it a lot of names, and that is natural and understandable, cz you are brought up to think that there should only be one wife for one man, at a time.
As far as muslims are concerned, the aim of our lives is to please our Creator; live happily, have succesful careers and personal lives in this world, but the ultimate aim should be to have enough good deeds to be successful on the Day of Judgement. To that end, we take whats permitted and we leave whats prohibited. As posters above explained, polygamy is not for everyone. But it is permitted nevertheless. We can discuss why it is permitted, or the unique set of circumstances when it can be practiced, but that doesn't change the fact that it is permitted. There is a limit of four at one time, so its the maximum. But most muslims in this world would have only one wife.
In addition, muslims need to respect the laws of the land, first and foremost. So, if a muslim wishes to engage in polygamy in United States, where the law does not permit it, Islamically, he should either give up the idea or move to a place which permits this thing. He is not supposed to break the law just because his religion allows to have multiple wives. If a country adopts muslim laws, they will not prohibit it, because the Prophet Muhammad (Sallalah O Alaihai Wassalam - Peace and Blessings be upon him) never prohibited it, and it is not prohibited in Quran - the divine text. For us, our religion was perfected when it was revealed, and do not need to be modified to satisfy modern pop requirements.
because of jihad lot of men died and there was a excess of women
for each surviving men, so religen devised a plan so that these
women dont seek illegal ways for men partners.
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I find all argurements presented in quotes such as the posted by Homosapien mere attempts to aid an arguement that is totally on false grounds
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do you even know what the author is trying to prove?
By using examples of other religions and cultures he is not trying to justify that marrying 4 wives is O.K. infact he is simply saying that it is ISLAM that established the UPPER LIMIT of 4 wives. infact no other scripture has a limit as to the no: of wives you can have.
... i dont know if you have read the whole article... the author says "Islam is the only religion that says marry one!" got it!?!? marrying more than one wife is an exception not a rule.
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originally posted by aravamudhan
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i think the author is very Proud that his religion came up with a
a limit that stopped people from going on a marrying spree, something that was alien to all religions.