Here whenver I hold up a door etc for someone I get a thanks in return or if I say thanks then I get a welcome in return yet in Pakistan never even got a glance or a smile let alone a simple thanks
Seemed strange
Like in the plane a couple of years ago, this guy next to me had to use the latreen or had to get up I think so he promptly put his food tray in on my empty food stand and went ‘I’ll be back in one min’. Not even ‘would you please mind holding my tray for me so nothing on it spills if I put it on the seat till I get back’?
Desi culture can be baytakalluf sometimes. But I've heard "thank you" and "please" among people in Pakistan....among family (don't recall strangers though).
Just a theory. But I wonder if one reason why "please" and "thank you" are more emphasized in western culture is because of a greater focus on individuality. Whereas...eastern cultures are more about unity and "apna-pan"...therefore there may be a view that there's no need for formalities like "please" and "thank you" with those that you consider your "apnay." And since eastern culture has greater emphasis on respect toward elders.....maybe that may account for a laxity in elders saying "please" or "thank you" to a younger person doing a favor for them.
^Not saying that any of the above ideas are "definitely" the case. And they seem to make more sense with close family/friends as opposed to random strangers. You can get away with being more "lax" with formalities with those that are close to you. One should be more courteous with strangers...so I don't know why there might be an scarcity of that. Maybe people are accustomed to treating the kind acts of strangers the same way as they are accustomed to treating close family and friends....the nonchalance/baytakallufness can be habit. I dunno....just venturing some plausible ideas.
RV I suppose..but the thing is I am not always looking for thanks or please its the way in which people behave i.e. not even acknowleging i.e. acting as if the person isnt even there! A glance wouldn’t be that hard :no:
Its please.
And I am sure its not that hard to say ‘Shukria’ is it..
I never say thank you. most prob because no one deserves it there., the shopkeepers are pervy old men, and they barge past you, making sure they somehow touch a part of you in the process, so i usually say oi you gottaaaa problem old man...or something, usually in english, cos its hard to get angry in urdu..lol. they normally scarper.
What i have seen in pak, is that people who can afford to go to restuarants and stuff are obviously the well off class,and they think they are above the mere mortals who serve them, so please and thank you wont ever be uttered.
last time i went pak, went to islamabad airport, went into the loo, and there were 2 women standing there CHARGING for toilet roll, they literally had the nerve to go into the loo take the toilet roll and then pretend it was their job to charge for it. and guess what, it was 5 ruppees per PIECE....now apolgies if im wrong and IT IS THEIR JOB, however i was warned against this from my cousins who said they do this sorta thing in airports, because they think us foreigners wont know.
aunties call us “suljhay hue bachay” in response to our please’s and sorry’s and thank you’s
