as this wasn’t the original thread topic I open a new one Missagate4pak
I guess the reason why divorce rate is high is “many reasons…”
1-women are free to live the life they want, contrary to many other poorer countries not in Europe, so as soon as the guy is a problem for them (no house chore sharing, cheating, drinking, no good sex, ageing…whatever) they CAN get rid of him…(I don’t have statistics in Europe, but in France 75% of divorce cases are initiated by women)
2-european people live in a very individualistic society, so a lot of them think their own well-being is more important than the well-being of anyone else including their children and spouse, that’s why they don’t care ruining their family. I mean it both economically, as divorce is expensive, and psychologically as divorce children have more problems than other children (example, they perform worse at school).
3- the ‘mean’ European is not very religious, so “divorce or not” is not a moral issue for most europeans. This leads to easy and quick divorce…so high rate!
all of that sounds really “general statement like” but of course there is a large variabilty between individuals, and countries or ethnic background within europe. I only tried to adress to question of missagate4pak
Generally speaking, no one gets divorced easily. It is a very difficult decision to make for all married couples, especially if kids are involved. It requires a lot of readjustment, sacrifice and perhaps emotional trauma.
At least people in the West don't have their amma, abba, chachi, mumani, mamu and everyone else budding in and preventing or scaring the hell out of the couple about how they should not separate even if they have no interest in each other, or hate each other.
I guess some individuals may take it lightly, but I doubt that everyone or the majority looks at it the same way.
As for vices and all other non-sense, it happens both in West as well as in the East. If your husband (or wife) is a crackpot and you don't see things working out, then it's better to carefully consider the option of getting out of the marriage.
:D.. not just in divorce cases.. like in everything else.. that the couple does in their life.. ranging from why aren’t you having kids to why are you eating chicken everyday
I think that there are many reasons for divorce. My parents got divorced.
!. No communication. Things should be talked out and not argued about all the time. Both wife and husband need to sit down and talk things out calmly. But they tend not to know how to do that. That's how my parents were.
2. It could be drugs, violence, huge change in behavior for no aparent reason. A bunch of lies.
3. Religion. This was also another thing with my parents. Everyone use to be christian, but my mom and sister turned to witch craft. My dad didn 't like that. I didn't like that for sure cause weird stuff would happen around the house. My mom was the one who left thought right after my sister.
4. Non-sense stuff. The woman or man no longer looks atractive, no longer knows how to have sex the way the partner wants, doesn't have enough money, cheats on the other person. Some say they didn't mean it.... but how true is that? They wouldn't have done it in the first place.
5. They never really loved the person at all and just went on ahead with marriage.
I'm sure there are hundreds of reasons. This is all I can think of.
My husband and I alhamdullilah are coming up to our 2nd year annivesery and of the 2 friends who met and married around the same time we did, they are both divorced…I KNOW that it was not an easy decision for one couple, the 2nd couple i’m not sure of the girls side but from the guy, it was painful, rough and just really sad for him…to this day he wishes he he had avoided the pain of it…though he realizes that they were not suited and thankfully they didn’t have kids.
As for the family involvement with the 2nd couple, we wonder if the girl had some better advice from her sister…things may have turned out differently.
All this divorce stuff freaks me out. Now all you hear about is muslim couples divorcing when previously this was unheard off. Its seriously putting me off. Too much influence from dramas and films is corrupting people's minds into thinking every marriage is on cloud 9 and cosy like a bollywood movie.
People are not taking it seriously and see it as some treasure to show off in life, rather than something meaningful that needs a lot of thought before embarking upon this route. The sacredness of marriage is fast declining.
I still think divorce is totally acceptable in extreme cases… if he cheats or marries another, or is mentally/verbally (yes theres such a thing ) and physically abuses you…
I am not sure it's such a bad thing that the divorce rate has increased - I think it's simply the ability a woman now has to get out of a bad situation. Hopefully this will encourage parents to put a little more thought into who they are arranging a marriage with, instead of "oh, let's bring your cousin over to UK - it's our duty" or "oh, they're a 'good' family - they are ridiculously wealthy". Issues such as couple compatibility should absolutely be given much more thought than they actually are.
And it is never wrong to leave a marriage when you are being physically, emotionally, or verbally abused.
For example, my husband has a friend who is now divorced. He wants a wife who wants to have a career, and who is already well-adjusted to the UK since he lives on his own. His parents are looking for yet another simple uneducated girl from their village 'back home' so that she won't be more educated than his mom. I personally can't think of anyone more ill-suited to the kind of life he leads. Another issue arises when girls who have been spoiled by a houseful of servants comes here, then learns she has to clean the toliet and scrub the floors. Some adapt, some don't, but a little foresight on the part of the parents would have been helpful.
) and physically abuses you…