rub this in other girls’ faces who are single/unmarried/without an SO??
I have seen this all too often..
if one is married, she will boast about it, make snide little remarks to the girl who hasn’t got a rishta or doesn’t have a SO??
some say it openly, others just like to brag about it like..“OMG..my SO is so good and awesome, we are so happy together…you wouldn’t know bla bla bla” ALL THE TIME!!!… and its quite apparent they want to put down others as opposed to just express their own happiness and all… i sometimes see this on forum too…
and then mothers whose girls do get married…say it to those whose girls aren’t married and make those taunting remarks…
I mean…whats wrong with you girls??
you feminazis can call me sexist, woman-hater or try to make it about me somehow…but…whatever…this DOES happen a lot…
Re: Why do married/in-relationship girls..........
You're hanging out with/know the wrong type of girls. Most decent, caring women would never put down another woman for not being married/in a relationship.
They're probably jealous of the single girls freedom to do whatever and not be tied down. They're probably hiding the fact that infact, their marriage isnt all that and is just making it out to be better that it actually is to "save face" or whatever.. She's probably bored and wishes she was single again when she would get attention from the boys but not now as most guys know she is married..!
We have all kinds of people in our lives. The sincere ones would never make their friends/ cousins/ sisters feel bad about not getting married but the some insenititve/ jahil girls/ aunties will. We should be strong enough to differentiate between people.
Re: Why do married/in-relationship girls..........
Am not sure which kind of girls do that. But those who do are probably still going through the immaturity phase. Marriage etc is not in the girl's hands. Neither did any girl create her SO herself (unless it's a fictional character :p)
If somebody ends up being happily married they should be thankful to Allah for it's Allah who is the planner of everything and they themselves aren't the ones to have landed themselves perfect rishtas.
As for mocking the girls who aren't married...ahh am sorry like somebody earlier said, they are probably missing out on their own bachelor life and are just rubbing it in to cover up their own insecurities.
Relationship, marriage all happen when they are meant to be and to all the single women out there, make most of this time...you'd get nostalgic about it too :p
Re: Why do married/in-relationship girls..........
offcourse not all........ i am talking about those who do that......
I don't think the type that do that would be so forthcoming to explain why they do. So then it's just up to us to speculate whether it's insecurities, jealousy, immaturity, or just catty behavior. shrugs
Re: Why do married/in-relationship girls..........
Completely agree with you Nomi. I was going to start similiar thread like this. There is one member who annoys me whenever she goes braggin about her spouse or whatever. So yes, women do that to boost their egos. Not all but some.
Re: Why do married/in-relationship girls..........
as much as girls stand up for each other on gupshup forums yes you're right there are some girls (ESPECIALLY in pakistani/brown culture) that like bragging about a rishta, hubby, SO, fiance whatever. i've experienced it too..and it always makes me turn away from such friends.
i was about 17 and a family frnd (her mom and my mom are good frnds) got engaged...and from that day on...at every dawat, gathering whenever we go to their house or she comes over...its like omg i have to talk to him, he's calling me...this is in the middle of EVERY single gathering even if there's ten grls sitting there..whether single or married. (i always wondered y she couldnt tell her SO that she's might be going to a dawat today..its only once a month..so maybe he can call her later..or earlier in the day???)...then this grl..always has to ask if you're married or engaged and if you are then you're her new best frnd...its something to bond over...i suppose i can understand that but i dont wana bond over my husband/fiance with someone else...i dont wana compare and contrast..
anyway i used to think i was jealous of her because obviously she has a fiance and i dont....but over the yrs i've had really close frnds with boyfrnds, fiances and husbands (and as i lived with them as a roommate or dormed i realized that their relationships are going well and they do really love each other) but i was never turned away frm these frnds...cuz well!!! its not about showing off..or bragging.
to make the point...the grls who brag about their SO's, husbands, fiances...its usually cuz thats the only thing in their life to brag about...their only "accomplishment" in life...there's other things in life besides a guy!! i'm engaged now but thats not the frst thing i tell ppl about myself. gosh!! (i said it here to give an example n cuz this is anonymous)
Oh em gee tell me about it. I’m really happy for you that you have been traveling the world, living the life with your hunk of a man and all but it was okay until about the fifth time you repeated the same EXACT story If i have to sit through another session …
Re: Why do married/in-relationship girls..........
I actually like this thread of yours, Nomi.
It's relevant to what a coworker of mine is going through. She's a gori...and has been trying to conceive for a quite a long time now. Last year one of the teachers had a baby....and this year another teacher just announced she's pregnant. Well, the pregnant one has been making snide remarks to the one that isn't. And the former knows that the latter has been trying for a long time. The one who is not pregnant had bought pregnancy magazines ....and was generous enough to gift them to the one who is pregnant...who only tossed em aside and said she has no use for them...but didn't give them back either. No mention of a thank you...or encouragement. Mind you..the pregnant one herself had been trying to conceive as well...but for some reason is having a really chitty attitude. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and say that it's the prego hormones gone haywire....but nah....she struggles with tact and sensitivity on a regular basis.
Re: Why do married/in-relationship girls..........
I tend to mind my own business...I usually don't even ask my relatives why they aren't married, when they're getting married, how come they don't have any kids, why haven't they graduated, etc.
The way I see it..if you're gonna brag....then you're not really being grateful to Allah...and if He gave you something, He can just as easily take it away. I congratulated this pregnant teacher...though she was rude to me only a few weeks ago....however when I reflect over her general lack of respect and how she looks down on people from a culture and religion different from hers (also noticed by Gori and Muslim facutly members alike)....I just hope that the birth of this child softens up her rough edges and makes her a more open-minded and sensitive person. Cuz if she doesn't change....I worry about the kid and the type of views that will be instilled in him/her.
I just realized that I shared an example of non-desi women...and in a way that's good...as it sends the message that this behavior is not confined to just one race.
Re: Why do married/in-relationship girls..........
2 reasons. One, it's considered an achievement for a woman to land a guy, because your identity as a woman is incomplete until you become a wife and mother (to desi husbands, you are both simultaneously). Two, once a woman is married, she becomes obsessed with schadenfreude and is overcome with the desire to inflict the marital misery she is experiencing onto her unwitting, single friends. If she's suffering, basically so should you. So she hounds you for details on your love life, sets you up with anything that looks male, and constantly boasts about her matrimonial bliss in the hope you will walk off that jagged cliff, too.
Now someone start a thread about the mother who brags ad nauseam about her 'special' relationship with her son, and the son who feels the constant need to remind everyone how no woman can influence him more than his mother (or sisters) but can't figure out why he's still single. Oedipus must've been a closet South Asian.
Re: Why do married/in-relationship girls..........
Tell me about it, eh!
But I must say there is a weird sort of satisfaction in rubbing in, this thread can be another example of rubbing single-hood in those immature brats' faces.
If i have to sit through another session … 