There was a guy who i had met on a matrimonial site. We were in touch with each other for a year. But when it was time to involve parents, he just resorted to the cowardly act of vanishing and not responding to calls, etc, without being open & telling frankly if he was just playing around.
It was before 6 months.
At that time, i had got really mad & i had started hating him. Now when i think back, i realize he was telling lies all along. The only thing which kept me stuck with him for a year was because, he would keep on pretending to be a good, Allah-fearing Muslim & the way he would talk about Sunnahs, etc .. So, I just thought perhaps he was really a good person.
Anyways. Since he got vanished, so things were definitely over. I was hurt & sad, etc. But i got better after few days by keeping myself busy. And today iam glad i didn’t end up with him as don’t know how many more dhokas he would have given me.
But for the last 2 days, i don’t know why i’ve unusually started thinking a lot about him . I don’t know why have i started missing him so much all of sudden. I don’t want to feel the way I am feeling right now. Is it normal? What to do?
But i got better after few days by keeping myself busy.
Continue keeping yourself busy as you noticed that this helped. It's only been two days that you've missed him.....and these two days are not some sort of sign and nor do these two days change the reality of how he treated you; they don't change anything. Yes, it's normal to feel this way because a person's mood/attitude doesn't remain constant.
Don’t know why but this thought of he may be doing well in life even after all that he did, just makes me hate him even more & that hatred is perhaps what which is keeping him all alive in my thoughts.. .. And I just want to stop those thoughts..
This has happened to my sister, exactly same situation where just as she wanted to tell the parents, he had a hundred n one excuses, so many that in the end she gave up on him and ended all contact. It can be very hurtful not to mention a foolish waste of time that I hope they have to answer for in the afterlife. She also thinks of him from time to time and wonders why when everything seemed to be going well.
I think its normal to think of him now and then and have varied emotions from missing him, hating him, or wondering about the what ifs. Im sure its just a phase and when u get back to busying urself u'll forget him insha Allah. Everytime u think of him, just make sure to not linger on those thoughts, as soon as they enter your head, try and also think of whatever happend happend for the best and its best to just move on and carry on with your life.
i'm sorry but women can be so silly (including me). you're sitting there holding onto a memory that was a complete illusion while he's making an idiot out of another grl that he met thru that same website....y do we do that to ourselves. fall for illusions and pretend they're reality and then start attaching all our emotions to them. i understand that its really tough dealing with this feeling of sadness/depression but dont u think its pathetic to be sad over some thing that was never there (honestly it was only there in your head...and your head is what needs fixing)...it wasnt anything tangible. pretend like that year never happened and enjoy all the things you have in your life...family, frnds, work, activities...plz dont feel sad/waste time over someone who used you as a source of temporary pleasure entertainment :-/ ...i think once u stop telling urselfimagining "oh might've had real feelings for me", to make urself feel better, you'll stop feeling sad/bad abt urself for not being with him.
its like being sad that harry potter doesnt exist or that shahrukh khan is not in love with u....do u see how completely ridiculous those thoughts are...thats how ur feeling of sadness is over "year of illusion"...
oh and ppl get over death of siblings/parents/loved ones...if he really meant all that much to u, start pretending to urself that there was a horrific accident and he died...and now u cant do anything abt it..mourn him for three days and say to urself i'm sure he's in heaven now with 70 hooors..end of story..you will have ur closure :-)
I actually tried this and it worked pretty well until the 70 hoors entered the scene. That just made me more miserable than before. So then I changed strategy and visualized him in hell instead. Since then…life has been just peachy.
All those sites have extremely confused people who don't know wth they want. I tried it for a bit and now I am like BAD IDEA.
honestly, get yourself involved in other things. don't waste your life over someone who just disappeared. Trust me, you would not want a husband who disappears and doesn't have the strength to confront. You want to be with someone who will help you achieve your highest potential and a person with a weak character is going to take you down with him :)
Pleaseeeeeeeeee for the sake of your own sanity, spend less time online and socialise more with people in real life. You won’t even think about that person again. I look at some people who are always on forums and wonder they might not be fretting over things had they kept themselves busy. If you have a job, great! Try socialising more and going out rather than fretting over guys or girls online
People get attached to animals too. Your just lonely so thinking of him now, u got used to bing in touch with him. Well from experience u hav realised that he is an idiot. So just move on, get busy, that will distract u from thinking of him.
Hope you mean something other than what I am just thinking ;)
Your just lonely so thinking of him now, u got used to bing in touch with him. Well from experience u hav realised that he is an idiot. So just move on, get busy, that will distract u from thinking of him.
So true. That said, these kind of things happen typically when you remember the good things about him. All things said and done, the guy could not have been a total jerk. There were certain characteristics of him that you liked. He might have made you realize your self worth. That is the part of him that you are missing.
.. So, I just thought perhaps he was really a good person.
.. And I just want to stop those thoughts..
