Re: Why do I keep going back?
kurri - that's the cr*ppy part of life :( I feel that way too many times - can't help you with any "saintly advise" :(
sovvy:(
Re: Why do I keep going back?
*THANK YOU EVERYONE!
*
Youre right, i'm completely over it now. I had tried everything in the past, ignoring them, blocking them out of my life but they somehow wiggled back in. But this is it, this is where it ends. I have and amazing group of friends, who ARE like my family, who NEVER let me down. Argh its just i know in the bottom of my heart i love them and its just hurts me so much that...i cant even explain it. But thats it, im done. for good. i spent the whole of today thinking about it, why should i put on a face for them when theyre just gonna totally diss me every oppurtunity they get? done, from now im breaking all ties with them. and i mean it this time. Thank you guys for all of your support, YOU guys are what family are supposed to be like, helpful and caring.
p.s my so called 'fave' cousins birthday is next month, i've spent MONTHS putting a little make up bag together for her, chanel eyeshadows, dior lipglosses the contents alone are worth over £50...i think im reallyyyy gonna enjoy using it :)
Kurri, I am the cousin who shares nothing with my other cousins - any special occassion, event in my life is kept to myself and my immediately family strictly. I know eventually they'll find out but I hope when they do, they'll realise that I chose not to tell them, thus, I want them a certain degree away from me and my life. So there, I am that evil cousin.
I wasn't always like this - but excessive nosiness and lame comments about everything that makes me happier kind of turned me off of 'sharing goodnews' with extended family.
Thats the thing though, youre not the evil cousin because you dont tell anyone, they however tell EVERYBODY, EXCEPT my family. Every other realtive, all of our cousins, second cousins, aunts, uncles even family friends are informed before us. Thats whats upsetting, the fact that is deliberately kept a secret from just us.
Anyone here on gupshup who actually IS the evil relative? In all my 5 years, i have yet to hear from one. :(
Who would actually admit they do others wrong :) Plus even if we did, it's STILL the other's fault.
Re: Why do I keep going back?
Pretend that gay man is telling you this with a flouncy hand gesture:
"Dump them honey, you don't need them!"
Oh, I can be evil, very evil…
I love being evil to my relatives, its my way of getting revenge for their misdeeds, I LOVE IT!!! rubbing hands together in glee!
Think of sweet poison. Think of killing someone softly. Don’t get mad, get even. Spend your time happily planning your revenge, a dish best served cold, leaving the victims marinating in their own cold sweat…
:halo:
Re: Why do I keep going back?
Kuripunjaban 
You sound like a great girl!
Re: Why do I keep going back?
Your problem is "expectation"... you are being nice to them expecting the same in return... just do what you have to do and then stop right there... meet them with smile.. never show them you are upset and in return don't expect anything at all, that way you won't feel hurt or get angry.. and oh btw nothing makes rude people more frustrated than when you don't fight back.
Your problem is "expectation"... you are being nice to them expecting the same in return... just do what you have to do and then stop right there... meet them with smile.. never show them you are upset and in return don't expect anything at all, that way you won't feel hurt or get angry.. *and oh btw nothing makes rude people more frustrated than when you don't fight back.
*
^ LOL. Your silence and positive attitude speaks volumes. It makes them look like an even bigger fool when they compare their disrespect to your silence.....and makes me feel guiltier. And they have to live with the guilt, so they become frustrated.
At the same time, sometimes it's good to put them in their place.
Re: Why do I keep going back?
Don't buy them presents anymore, don't ring them, don't look at them. Get on with your own life, they should come last.
Re: Why do I keep going back?
The only relatives that should matter to you are your siblings and parents. Rest of them...oh well.
I never have been close to my extended family except for a very few. And my father's death (Allah bless his soul) taught me some very important lessons.
Relatives are the people you are stuck with, and they take every opportunity to throw crap in your way. You can not choose your relatives, but you can choose your friends - perhaps that is God's way of compensating for what you get for relatives. Anyway, we all learn from experience, dont let them bother you, dont get too involved.
Sweet_face - Exactly, I guess they dont understand the logic behind 'treat others the same way you want them to treat you'
redvelvet - I'm planning on it, when the time is right my feelings are gonna have to come out, they should know how i feel and how much theyve hurt me. I want to see how they react, if they love me enough, they'll sort it out.
RupayHalwa - Yeah, theyre bottom of my list now, when theyre ready to treat me and my family with respect i'll consider giving them the same love back.
Jaanwar - I'm sorry to hear about your father (may he rest in peace).
My family have always been my first priority, no matter what. Theyve always encouraged us to treat cousins like brothers and sister though, because after their generation leaves us, we have to get along. But if in our teens we cant get on...whats the chances of it in the future. I just pray that inshallah one day, allah will give my whole family some sense and we can get on like we used to before. no fights, no drama and what were without a doubt the best and the happiest years of our lives.
And thank you straight_up, that put a smile on my face :)
Re: Why do I keep going back?
KP - Inshallah, but just make sure you bring your expectation level to zero. People change with time. But it is good to keep a positive focus.
PS: bless you.