I just had a baby last week. He is exactly one week old today. I really really wanted to nurse him myself, but unfortunately he has a really weak latch. While in the hospital, the lactation consultant worked with me, but he would not latch properly. She suggested pumping and supplementing for now, and still trying to get him to latch.
So I have been trying with getting him to latch, but he just wont do it. He screams like crazy when I try to get him to latch. I would let the screaming go and just continue to try, but my MIL is here to help, and when she hears him crying she will come and start knocking on the door and saying “give him the feeder”, “he likes the formula better” “why are making him cry, if he doesnt want your milk, just give him formula its easier”.
And this is seriously causing me to have post partum blues. Whenever I have to give him a bottle of formula I just feel worse and worse, and when he cries like crazy it makes me cry too. I have been having bouts of crying throughout the day, and I just feel like this issue is adding to it tremendously. On top of that, I have a friend who is VERY pro-breastfeeding, and she messages me every single day asking about how breastfeeding is going, and that I shouldnt give in to the bottle, and she just makes me feel even worse. And right now I dont have the emotional stability to tell her to back off!
I have an appt with another Lactation consultant tomorrow, and hopefully she will be able to help work on his latch. But I just feel so frustrated and upset with myself that I let it get to the point where I am giving him more formula than breast milk.
Has anyone ever been able to change this around and go from formula to full breastfeeding?
first and foremost, congratulations!!! what did you name your little guy?
my problem was the opposite of yours’…the baby wouldn’t take a bottle no matter what we did. it was very frustrating and I ended up nursing for 2 full years and a couple of weeks. it was very, very taxing and difficult.
don’t worry too much. Allah behtar karta hai. have faith that what He is doing for you and your baby is the best for both of you.
I know that it’s not as easy to just stop worrying, but do try. And if you don’t have the energy to ask your friend to ease up with the breastfeeding messages, please ask your husband or someone else to reach out to her and tell her to stop. being a new mom is a huge change and you certainly don’t need the added stress that she is currently contributing to your life.
Congratulations and let me start off by saying formula isn’t poison!
I had a low supply..I was on strict diet after delivery for other reasons so I was unable to eat the desi stuff to increase milk.. I tried for three weeks..cried like crazy, developed mastitis, reached every lactation consultant that I could ( private and hospital) and then we gave him formula when I was admitted in hospital, for surgery and had to pump and dump for four days… Everything fell in place..circumstances were difficult..my husband was pro bf until he had to run to the store to get formula at 3am because I was in ER..he learned the hard way.
My son had formula until he turned 1 and then we switched to whole milk..alhamdulillah his I mine system wasn’t weak or anything..I tried to supple,met as much as I could for about 4 months before I completely gave up. Seriously, it’s no big deal..yes it’s great if it works out but if it doesn’t, this ain’t the end of world. Enjoy your baby and that’s all.
Let me find a link for the video that explains the latch..that may help.
my daughter did this screaming thing too, i think mostly out of frustration. her latch was not weak tho. she just wouldn’t let me position her right. after about 2-3 weeks we had the hang of it, tho i did supplement with formula.
i think you’re going to have to ignore everyone’s opinions. you can listen for a bit but then you and baby have to figure out what works best for the both of you. you may need to speak to your mil to give you space, or ask hubby to do it (my ob even told me to make sure to nurse alone in the beginning bc she knew the stresses particualrly in desi families).
keep at it, but don’t be afraid to supplement sometimes/often if a particular feed doesn’t work after 5 minutes or so. you can try again for the next one. if bfing ends up not working out, that’s ok too. there are lots of good alternatives.
Thanks everyone. I have been pumping, giving him that, as well as supplementing with formula, and also still trying to get him to latch. I had an appt with a lactation consultant yesterday who really helped. I can now get him to latch on one side, but he still completely refuses the other side. He was checked for tongue tie, Alhamdulillah there is no issue there.
I am a little more confident now, and feeling a little better, but it still upsets and frustrates me when he refuses that one side. My mil is leaving this weekend, so I feel like I can try harder with his latch because she wont be here trying to force formula on me. And I know formula is not poison, it is perfectly fine for babies, but I guess I just want to give him as much of my milk as possible. My husband has also been very supportive, and telling me that Im doing a great job, so that has been helping me tremendously.
Awww it’ll get better. Going to a lactation consultant was a great idea. Keep going to them because they truly help a lot! They really know what they’re doing.
My pet peeve is when a mother is trying really hard to keep up with breastfeeding but ppl come in and say formula isn’t poison. Yes it’s not poison but that’s not what a new mom needs to hear! And another pet peeve is when a new mom is trying so hard to be successful at breastfeeding and these pro breastfeeding advocates are breathing down your neck if you give formula to supplement. Both these approaches do nothing for a new mom who is already feeling overwhelmed and doubting her ability to be a good mom.
Just take a relaxed approach. Also some babies do have a preference for one side but keep trying and I’m sure it will work out. All the best!
^ Agree. You need to do whats best for your baby
…formula is not poison. Going to the lactation consultant was a great idea and if u continue seeing them it will help u a lot. You should he proud of yourself for trying so hard with bfeeding. Don’t let others get u down. InshAllah everything will work out fine.
I am exactly in your position, I had my baby 2 weeks ago and he wouldnt latch on and my milk wasnt coming, we tried everything, expressing with hand, hand pump, syringes, electric pumps but I had to give him formula, yes it made me feel like a failure first few times, but I am now expressing the little bit milk I have and giving it to him from bottle before every feed and then topping up with formula, Its hard work expressing, sterlising and keep doing it over and over every 2-3 hours, I feel like thats the only thing I do but I have no other alternative for now.
Congratulations!!
Hang in there. It takes time and isn’t by any means “natural”. He needs to learn and so do you. The one thing I’d say is watch him for hunger cues- these can range from shaking his head from side to side to smacking his lips. Once you see him do that, pick him up and start latching him on right away. By the time he’s crying, he’s famished and the battle is over before its begun, so to speak. Getting to him early buys you some time and some of his patience. You’re doing great! Be strong!
I did supplement with formula in the beginning and then switched to bfing full time when baby was 4 months. I was able to nurse till he was two. So yes it can be done.
I too had problems of lactation and my son wasnt latching on to me properly. I stayed at the hospital for three nights and midwives and a lactation consultant helped me cope with it. When I was discharged from hospital I was very worried that how would I breastfeed my baby alone at home without any support. Those were some tough days or should I say months. I was also worried about my milk supply as I thought I am not producing enough for my son. My health visitor advised me to supplement with the formula so I started doing that but felt like I wasn’t a good mother.
Have to heard loads of unsolicited advice about taking too long to try breastfeeding my baby and all but I didn’t stop trying. It took me full six months to finally move my son away from formula and to just give him BM.
Just don’t give in. I can understand how you feel. Keep on trying and meanwhile keep supplementing your baby with formula.
i ust dont get what it is with the people around, especially mothers as well as mother in laws as well as other ladies who have had kids, why cant they just understand that a new mom needs support, love, emotional care and a buck-up pat on the back!!
i can understand, its ok, i’ve had great problems with bfeeding, i cldnt do it in the beginning ( low milk supply) n my baby gave up trying she cried a lot… i even got hard at her but trust me formula is good, Alhamdulillah my cutie hasnt been sick, as people say if i dont bf, my baby will be sick and blah blah. and my baby is such a lively, joyful, active baby Allah ka bara shukar hai. Otherwise i was very very worried becoz she was majorly on formula right from the beginning
sometimes i even think, i wld never be able to expect her to be more attached to me as she didnt take enough of my milk is that true? its just a feeling i get sometimes… but at the moment I mean the World to her
Dont lose hope sweety, try what you can but plz dont get too hard on yourself and on the baby… or you’ll regret like me, sincere advice
she cried a lot… i even got hard at her