I FEEL it is degrading.. she DOESNT. :) its been 10 yrs now and hes so used to it that if his wifei s gone his nails are all grown. initially wen ure all newly married one dus do things out of love that the man get used to and the woman later regrets doin in the first place. this is one of those things.
i m sure she wudnt have mind doin this even after so many yrs if he atleast loved or acknowledged her efforts. so in love even the glossiest thing can appear beautiful to the person.
It is her fault that she has become a floor mat. Nobody can help her if she keeps on going suffering abuse, if it is abuse not your own perception of abuse in this relationship.
Verbal abuse has nothing to do with Pakistani or non-Pakistani men. this is quite global.
Same is the case with cursing and swearing. You meet some youth (irrespective of gender) raised here in west, for many of them its very hard to complete a sentence without using fk, bas***d etc etc for no reason. It has more to do with home environment and lessons they have learned at home (in addition to their friends etc off course)
I agree very true ... usually i see so many things on this site that are usally directed towards pakistan's .. i mean everytime they put out a scenerio or w/e they alwayz say like " i usally see this in pakistani's".... etc. I think there are all different kinds of ppl's and behaviours in every culture and all around the world .. so by saying " pakistani's" everytime it shows omg are paki's that bad? lol .. and i think we usally say it like this is cuz since this is pakistani website and we tend to look at every scenerio from just that one point of view and/ or they've mostly been around pakis, so they don't see the same false behaviours in others ( non pakis).
so yea i personally totally agree with you .. cuz i've seen white/chines/balck's/.. etc, people swearin at eachother in public ( and very loud too lol).
you know what. i always read on here...the sons will always go on the fathers. so. most likely it's how they grew up..on top of it their mother pampered them to no end..because the beta was her hope while living with her abusive husband. so the son also grows up to be batameez, disrespectful, arrogant, and abusive.
i do think, sometimes the son's do come out gems after seeing what their mother's go through with such disgusting husbands.
Husbands who do that are bad tameez and like Gaia said their mom didn't teach them to respect women.
I would not agree with the fact that they saw their dads treating their moms same way. Rules are always different for own mom and sisters because they are special , asmaan sey utri hui and a gift to mankind. But all other women are bad , chalaak and does not deserve respect esp wife aur us kay ghar walay. Mothers teach their sons to keep wife in her auqaat nahi to usko maa baap kay gher wapas bhej do.
Husbands who do that are bad tameez and like Gaia said their mom didn't teach them to respect women.
I would not agree with the fact that they saw their dads treating their moms same way. Rules are always different for own mom and sisters because they are special , asmaan sey utri hui and a gift to mankind. But all other women are bad , chalaak and does not deserve respect esp wife aur us kay ghar walay. Mothers teach their sons to keep wife in her auqaat nahi to usko maa baap kay gher wapas bhej do.
thank GOD someone said something a bit sensible here. i 100 percent agree sometimes its nt just hubs learnin from his father treating his mom in a bad way. def rules are always different when it comes to their wives. most of the guys i know they are mommy's boy and their mom controlled their fathers and they still turn out to b bad husbands. maybe they are scared their wife wud turn out to b like their moms. also i agree with diamond mothers teach their sons to keep in aukaat... and my own MIL once said to my hubby biwi ki suno gay toh yehi hoga.. idunno she said it to him or to his brother (he got married newly that time) but wotever the msg was clear. keep her at a distance. my own husband has said so many times on my face and infront of his mom.. ke in biwion ko samjhana hoga aisa nahi chalega un biwion ko level mein rakhna hoga and blah blah(he said that talkin abt the newly wedded devrani of mine but indirectly it was for me too). and blah blah. they show infront of their moms that we are inferior to their moms and the mother in the end feels happy that biwi ki itni aukaat nahi ke oski suni jati ho.
yes abusing wives infront of everyone including thr own kids has nothin to do with islamic teachings and authority given to men as clearly said by** Mirch**...its the basic teachings and uthna bethna that help them to do such low things with thr wives...they even easily forget that what impact they are leaving on thr kids while doing so..cuz nurturing thr kids in a healthy environment is not done n kids are mostly grown up with broken personalities...i hav seen that as well...
you know what? man's behavior plays a vital role in building strong relationships with his family members ...relationship with his wife...relationship with his kids...i always dont seem to understand one thing however i hav a firm belief on it that if they are in a happy mood...everything is perfect...n if they are having the worst of it...no matter how happy u r ...every thing goes in the background...n u r just left with his bad mood...n lame blames...
even i hav witnessed that if a man is a good husband as well as a good father...then thr children will have a very good upbringing...warna jub bachey apni maaon ko hur aaye gaye key samney bey izzat hotey dehktey hein tou un ka confidence, self esteemed, sab aik taraf hojata hey...aur phir un bachoan key paas do hi options bachtey hein yaa tou bohat achey hojayein..ya bohat biger jaein...
and its really true that whatever the wives do(mentioned in these threads) ,it does happen for real..i alwayss think that .Allah Pa'ak ney mard ko bohat bari responsibility sonpi hey..key woh kese bridge bunta hey hur rishtey key darmiaan...chaahey woh maa baap ka ho...chahey biwi ka aur chaahey bachoan ka...sab ko balanced rakhna us ke liyeh yeh bohat bara challenge hota hey...as mall mentioned MILS do tell thr sons key biwi ki na suno...jubkey woh sahi keh rahi hotee hey...tou yeh sahi aur ghalat jaannney ka kaam bhi to un sons ka hi hota hey na?
Yes blame everything on their mothers. Even though the husbands are all adults and can clearly distinguish right from wrong, just blame the mother in law. They are the root of every wive's problems.
Yes blame everything on their mothers. Even though the husbands are all adults and can clearly distinguish right from wrong, just blame the mother in law. They are the root of every wive's problems.
bin sarcastic or wat?:-p
khair thast what i m saying....husbands are adult enuf to distinguish between right n wrong...
Why? Because their Mama didn't teach them to respect women.
this.
parents and other family members. by the example of their own behavior, they lay the foundation for character development when children are very young. friends too, the company you keep says a lot about your character.
Speaking from personal experience, i believe it has a lot to do with how the man is raised, it also is a way of making himself feel better over his insecurities and hang ups. And eventually it becomes a habit, that if he believes is ok in the first place, then he wont change. Oh and if the wife lets him get away with it, then he no reason to stop.
In my life I have come across only one pakistani guy who literally left me speechless with his words, actions etc. I was amazed at how disrespectful he was. we can't just put the blame on pakistani men, my dads pakistani, nana, dada, chachu, mamoo etc and they haven't ever cursed at their wives. It all depends on your upbringing, your values, education etc.
i dun hav the idea if this topic has already bin discussed b4 or not...but this is my first ever post in this forum...
so i hav seeen many men who verbally abuse thr wives...aesa kertey huey kaheen se nahin lagta key woh kitni zabardast qualification rakhtey hein ya phir woh kitney good looking ya high profile key log hein...
if i talk more candidly...
aik aesi larki jo apney shohar ki hur baaaaaat maanti hey.. us ki aik awaaz pe bhaag bhaag ker kaam kerti hey phir bhi hubbys khush nai hotey? ulta aik lamhey ki deir mey bhari mehfil mey zaleel kerdeytey hein aur phir silsila rukta nahin hey...us bechaari ki family tak ko drag kerletey hein beech mey?aur aese mey agar woh rona shuru kerdey to aur musibat...
agar sirf aik waquey ki baat hotii to chalein maan lein key aik aaad ki qismat aesi hotee hey...but i hav seeeeen many gals who r extremely obedient to thr husbands n they really are...but are alwayzzzzzz scared of them...cuz they can easily anytime anywhr can verbally abuse them ...
so really wanna know the answer...Y
jo mard aisa karte hain, unki upbringing aisi hi ki hoti ha
na unki maa ko baap izzat dyta ha aur na maa is ka saabaq bete ko dyti ha k aurat ki izzat karna
so basically its the fault of his parents upbringing
