This is a very prevalent behaviour where husbands try to ignore/act indifferent/be rude/not care/etc. in presence of their family. Why is this so?
Are they afraid of being considered ‘joru ka ghulam’?
Do they want to show their family that they care for them more?
They dont know how to balance the two?
They think their married life is restricted only to their bedroom and need not be nice to their spouse in front of family?
Other reasons??
Re: Why do husbands act different in presence of their family?
sharam aati hai.
Re: Why do husbands act different in presence of their family?
They cant show you all the love and affection in front of them and when they get some chance to meet their family they wud like to spend some time chit chatting and cannot come running each time you do " Munney key abba Zara Sunye"
Re: Why do husbands act different in presence of their family?
This is a very prevalent behaviour where husbands try to ignore/act indifferent/be rude/not care/etc. in presence of their family. Why is this so?
Are they afraid of being considered 'joru ka ghulam'? Do they want to show their family that they care for them more? They dont know how to balance the two? They think their married life is restricted only to their bedroom and need not be nice to their spouse in front of family? Other reasons??
really? i this a prevalent behavior by husbands that they act indifferent, rude to their wives in front of their families? i am hearing this for the first time. neither have observed nor heard of this before. yes i have observed that husbands and even wives do not act lovey dovey to each other in presence of their families or elders but husbands acting rude is hard to believe.
Re: Why do husbands act different in presence of their family?
The problem is husbands behave weird or negative, become harsh. wives dont want their husband to behave like "munnay k abba" atleast they should give respect in front of his family. Life partner ha yar kuch tu importance do family k samnay.
Re: Why do husbands act different in presence of their family?
This is a very prevalent behaviour where husbands try to ignore/act indifferent/be rude/not care/etc. in presence of their family. Why is this so?
Are they afraid of being considered 'joru ka ghulam'? YES **Do they want to show their family that they care for them more?YES** They dont know how to balance the two?** THIS IS PART OF BALANCING** They think their married life is restricted only to their bedroom and need not be nice to their spouse in front of family?** BEING NICE AND BEING ALL CHEESY POODLE ARE DIFFERENT.** Other reasons??
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Re: Why do husbands act different in presence of their family?
This is a very prevalent behaviour where husbands try to ignore/act indifferent/be rude/not care/etc. in presence of their family. Why is this so?
Are they afraid of being considered 'joru ka ghulam'? Do they want to show their family that they care for them more? They dont know how to balance the two? They think their married life is restricted only to their bedroom and need not be nice to their spouse in front of family? Other reasons??
coward, spineless men do this.
Re: Why do husbands act different in presence of their family?
Well, I think even Desi wives don't act as openly affectionate toward their husbands in the presence of families (be it his or hers). Plus parents and siblings require your attention and time as well especially if you're seeing them after ages.
Come to think of it, I may not talk as openly or freely to even a very close friend of mine in front of my parents....I would discriminate more with what I say. So, yes, generally behavior can change around people.
But being outright rude to your wife...like speaking gruffly....making fun of her....avoiding her like the plague....that's unacceptable. It's extreme behavior and more than just a little change in behavior/attitude.
Re: Why do husbands act different in presence of their family?
My husband acts different around family too. However, he is never rude to me in front of them. He just acts indifferent. I found this odd at first but I realized that he had a certain image/reputation to hold up. I am guessing most desi men behave that way because parents and families expect a lot from them and put them on a pedestal from the very beginning.
Re: Why do husbands act different in presence of their family?
coward, spineless men do this.
A certain decorum has to be maintained infront of family, some will be comfortable holding hands some will just normal or indifferent.
Unless someone is bashing his wife infront of his family then nothing wrong with being a bit more reserved.
Calling it spineless or cowardly is laughable.
Re: Why do husbands act different in presence of their family?
A certain decorum has to be maintained infront of family, some will be comfortable holding hands some will just normal or indifferent.
Unless someone is bashing his wife infront of his family then nothing wrong with being a bit more reserved.
Calling it spineless or cowardly is laughable.
what i meant as coward and spineless are those men that don't exactly stand up for their wives infront of their families. i am not talking about holding hands. but there are plenty of men out there that don't stand up for their wives even when his family says something rude to her or about her. this has happend with me in my previous relationship so i can very well relate to this.
I have even seen when a guy is too nice to his wife and helps her out, he gets labelled 'joru ka ghulam' by his family.
so no it's not laughable when someone is called spineless and coward for not standing up for his wife infront of this family.
If the OP is talking about holding hands or intimacy related behavior, then i am afraid i misunderstood the post.
Re: Why do husbands act different in presence of their family?
what i meant as coward and spineless are those men that don't exactly stand up for their wives infront of their families. i am not talking about holding hands. but there are plenty of men out there that don't stand up for their wives even when his family says something rude to her or about her. this has happend with me in my previous relationship so i can very well relate to this. I have even seen when a guy is too nice to his wife and helps her out, he gets labelled 'joru ka ghulam' by his family. so no it's not laughable when someone is called spineless and coward for not standing up for his wife infront of this family. If the OP is talking about holding hands or intimacy related behavior, then i am afraid i misunderstood the post.
the post is about how husbands conduct themselves and behave with their wives in presence of their families.
whether a husband takes a stand for his wive or not is a different issue altogether.
Btw, if women want their husbands to stand up for them in front of their families then they should equally be open towards husband standing up for his mom or sister or father in front of the wife when wife is in the wrong. unfortunately, most women have double standards and would take that as a great insult if a husbands points wife's inappropriate behavior etc in front of his family.
Re: Why do husbands act different in presence of their family?
It's not about showing a lack of affection that some people here seem to think is the issue - it's about husbands behaving indifferently as Theorist said, somewhat more macho lol.
my husband does this in front of family and it used to irritate the hell out of me: he is so loving and caring when we are alone so I used to get annoyed he'd act all indifferent in front of family. E.g. During my first trimester I was pretty much bed ridden and my bones would always hurt, so he'd sometimes press my legs. Once my devar was in the room and I started feeling weak so asked hubby to just press my legs, and he got all offended and was shy. I was too tired to complain so I just went to my room to go lie down and few minutes later he came in the room and started massaging my legs without me even asking lol.
He really is loving but I just think it's about maintaining an image in front of family. The way I see it is as long as he is looking after me in private, let him play whatever game he wants to with his family. As long as we're happy at the end of the day nothing else should matter :)
Re: Why do husbands act different in presence of their family?
if your husband’s going all stealth mode on you in front of his family, you can easily just make silly faces at him till he either laughs and has to explain that to his family or starts being as open with you as you want him to. 
<— maybe do that too. lololols.
Re: Why do husbands act different in presence of their family?
unheN sharm aatii hogii tabhii to aksar mard Hazraat apnii biwiyoN kaa naam le kar bulaate tak nahiiN aur isii liye shaayad:
-Ae Jii
-Lo Jii
-Suno Jii
kaa rivaaj 'aam huaa! :)
Re: Why do husbands act different in presence of their family?
^ wah wah wah bohat khoob. muqarrar muqarrar.
Re: Why do husbands act different in presence of their family?
There you’ve a perfect solution.
It’s okay if your husband if not lovey-dovey with you in front of his family. It’s** NOT** okay if your husband is being rude or disrespecting you in front of **ANYONE. **Then I’m afraid you’ve bigger issue than lack of sweetness in front of relatives.
Re: Why do husbands act different in presence of their family?
If you know he is putting up with an image, and not really like that. Why bother you so much? 
Re: Why do husbands act different in presence of their family?
^One would be bothered if the fake, macho image is resulting in the wife feeling embarrassed or snubbed before her in-laws. Like for instance let's say that your wife says something to you or asks a question and you outright ignore her in front of your family even though it's pretty clear to everyone that you heard her.....it makes the wife feel like a fool. And actually even outside of marriage, I have seen a group of friends...where one person in the group is ignored or not responded to....even if it's not done intentionally....that person will blush or you can see from their face that they feel embarrassed and awkward.
It's understandable that people's behavior changes depending on company, but some may take it too far. But then I also think that if you've been married for a considerable amount of time, then you'd have an idea about what comments/requests/actions you should avoid before your spouse's family.
Re: Why do husbands act different in presence of their family?
I agree with Theorist.
My fiancé does this too. He's indifferent towards me when he's with family. Sometimes he's rude too, like he'll crack jokes about my accent or something.
I don't think it's because he's shy, since he has grown up in a very romantic/affectionate family. His dada gave a flower to the dadi every single day. And his parents are super romantic and still hold hands all the time.
But since he was a teenager, he's always been told that he's such a pushover that he'll be so whipped when he gets married. So now that he's getting married he's trying to prove that he's not head over heels in love and I have no control over him.
I don't push it. I'm just as indifferent towards him as he is to me, but I interact with his family. After a while, he texts me "why are you ignoring me?"
.....and people think females are the complex ones ;)