?
Re: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Plato: For the greater good.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration,
as a chicken which has the daring and courage to
boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom
among them has the strength to contend with such a
paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the
princely chicken's dominion maintained.
Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
pancreas.
Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered
within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and
each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial
intent can never be discerned, because structuralism
is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take.
Douglas Adams: Forty-two.
Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.
Oliver North: National Security was at stake.
B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its
sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a
fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while
believing these actions to be of its own free will.
Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at
this historical juncture, and therefore
synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself,
the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the
objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came
into being which caused the actualization of this
potential occurrence.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-
nature.
Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
events to grace the annals of history. An historic,
unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt
such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to
homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.
Salvador Dali: The Fish.
Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from
the trees.
Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
Epicurus: For fun.
Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken
was on, but it was moving very fast.
David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)
reason.
Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
Ronald Reagan: I forget.
John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the
transportation, so quite understandably the chicken
availed himself of the opportunity.
The Sphinx: You tell me.
Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!
Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow
out of life.
Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
Molly Yard: It was a hen!
Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.
Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.
Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.
The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.
Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.
Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.
Othello: Jealousy.
Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have,
you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the
Need to resist such a public Display of your own
lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.
Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.
Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.
Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in
town ought never expose one to such barbarous
inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a
road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the
chicken in question.
Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade
insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.
Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome,
filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume
to question the actions of one in all respects his
superior.
Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.
Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of
misplaced concreteness.
Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)
Hamlet: That is not the question.
Donne: It crosseth for thee.
Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.
Constable: To get a better view.
Re: Why did the chicken cross the road?
SAEED AL SAHAF - Iraqi Head of Information
The chicken did not cross the road.
This is a complete fabrication.
In fact, we do not even have a chicken.
GEORGE W BUSH
We don't care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.
The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground.
COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
TONY BLAIR
I agree with George.
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there may be potential for this chicken's capability, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
TRICIA
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it felt accomplishing its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens, crossing all the roads.
You may say I'm a dreamer - but its not the only hen.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.
ARSENE WENGER
What chicken? I did not see it.
ALEX FERGUSON
The chicken was not drawn to the other side fairly, and Beckham is not bigger than this club.
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
eChicken2003 version 1.0 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your cheque book - and internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
What is your definition of chicken?
THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
WHAT!!!. Did I miss one?
HOMER SIMPSON
Mmmmmmmmm . . . . c h i c k e n
Re: Why did the chicken cross the road?
LOL :D
5Abi :p
excellent anwser(s) :D
Re: Why did the chicken cross the road?
John Kerry's Answer: While serving in Vietnam, I was in favor of the chicken crossing the road. Then later I realized that there were those who needed the chicken on this side of the road. Now I would like to see the chicken on the other side of the road, unless of course it would be better served to be on this side of the road. Ideally, I think the chicken should be in the middle of the road.
Ralph Nader's Answer: The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been pollutedby unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
Jerry Falwell's Answer: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side.".
Captain Kirk's Answer: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Bill Clinton's Answer: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
The Bible's Answer: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Louis Farrakhan's Answer: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
O.J. Simpson's Answer: It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time
Sigmund Freud's Answer: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
L.A.P.D.'s Answer: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Re: Why did the chicken cross the road?
5abi u have my respect this reply on the board! :k:
Re: Why did the chicken cross the road?
http://www.npr.org/dmg/dmg.php?mediaURL=/me/20041022_me_capitoljoke&mediaType=RM
This is hilarious.
Re: Why did the chicken cross the road?
5abi give us the link already so you won't have to go through the trouble of copy pasting it.
Re: Why did the chicken cross the road?
desibanda’s answer:
“To come into my tummy for the chicken biryani”
yummmmmmmmmmmmmmm shlurrrrrrrrrrppppp 
Re: Why did the chicken cross the road?
when and where did thsi question arise????
any historical insights????
Re: Why did the chicken cross the road?
2 get 2 the other side :D
Re: Why did the chicken cross the road?
what is the question again???....why did chicken crossed the road??...what road? which chicken ?
Re: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it wanted to.. 