We remember the day In uk when my dad was coming to home after offering fajar prayer and he saw a aged couple looks pakistani by face were standing infront of my house .They Looked in trouble as women had tears in her eyes .My dad was looking at them when man came to him and asked "kia app pakistany hoo " jub unno na kha yes Then he said that i want to talk to you.he invited them in the home actually problems was that They came from gallsgow following their daughter who met with a hindu guy on internet and has been left home for him .and that hindu guy was living infront of our house.They called police to get their daughter but when police came ,their daughter said to police that she had fear from her parent that why she left home ..Her mother want from me to asked hindu guy that whatever he want we would give him but ask him please left our daughter as our religon dont allow that relationship
At that time after seen the pains of that couple i realized that how we children become so selfish and forget all the pains and hardships faced our parent for us???
and how a 2 year so called love dominate the 20 year true love???
parents make tremendous sacrifices for their children in order to provide better education and a compatible environment to their children. I personally know a number of people who went so far as to spend their retirement savings and even borrowed money to send their kids to college. In some cases they willingly spent all that they owned on the education and marriage of their kids.But when the kids grow up they just have no time for their parents! In fact, in some cases parents have been treated like house servants! Here, the next generation is so busy in satisfying their own needs that it completely ignores the sacrifices of the parents.
In the West, children learn very early to become financially independent. As soon as they grow up, they leave their parent’s nest to find their own places in the world. So, when they live on their own, it is understandable that the parents had supported them only up to a certain age. This legacy is passed on to each succeeding generation while Average people in pakistan will invariably provide shelter to their grandparents, or aging relatives even though they themselves may have very little space in their home. As the saying goes “space is located in one’s heart, not in physical facilities :halo:
Re: Why Children Forget The Sacrifices Of Their Parent
Let me play the devil's advocate here. There are always two sides to a story. Did you hear the daughter's version? Did the daughter actually have reason to fear her parents? Were the parents the type who beat their daughter? Without knowing all the facts, it is unwise to judge someone.
Secondly this whole notion that parents know what's best for you and that you should blindly do what they tell you is rubbish. Yes, they do a lot for you and part of raising your children is to let them live their lives on their own, let them make their own mistakes and let them grow up and be independent. It is this desi type of child rearing that is the cause of so many desi men being mama's boys and completely incapable of taking care of themselves or making important decisions. So, I don't agree with you when you say that kids who want to live their own lives don't love or respect their parents, that's a bunch of hogwash. Just because you love your parents and respect them doesn't mean that you don't live your own life and that like a puppet you do EXACTLY what ammi tells you. THe proper way for kids to behave would be to make the parents part of their decision making process, include them, get their input but then make their OWN decisions.
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aahmed bravo for you, i know lots of desis will say shame on you but i totally agree with you.
we should raise our kids with respect and then set them free to live their lives as they please, its so selfish to keep the kids at home even after they are married, id die befor i have my bahu live with me....i dont know how some parents do it, its so common in pakistan and abroad as well...and when the bhau tries to leave after some conflict, she becomes the worst creature on this planet earth.
Re: Why Children Forget The Sacrifices Of Their Parent
I know I'm a "backwards person," but when parents r elderly, I wudn't have the heart to leave them to pay the bills and take care of themselves. Also like to say that most people who live @ home r not mamas boys, & if u listen to what ur mom & dad says doesn't mean ur a puppet, and also like to say that most people who do live with their parents do so to keep them happy and because they want to.
In our culture, the sons stay at home, not to mooch money off their parents, or because they can't be independent, but because they r to take care of the household and take up the financial responsibilities, which is even harder than being independent in fact it is much much harder.
Re: Why Children Forget The Sacrifices Of Their Parent
The latter part of Natalia's post is exactly why I'm so hell bent on taking care of my parents when they reach old age (that includes my wife too). My parents have done a lot for me and my bro and we have every intention, inshAllah, to take care of them to the best of our abilities, InshAllah.
Those who don't take care of their parents will be condemned to the hell fire.
Re: Why Children Forget The Sacrifices Of Their Parent
This is what happens when you don't teach your kids islamic values.
This is what happens when you beat them and don't give them free will.
This is what happens when you don't show them love.
Most importantly, this is what happens when you are not informed of those values urself.
Re: Why Children Forget The Sacrifices Of Their Parent
I don't know this girls particular situation but...
..my parents do and will always come first. Over and beyond anyone else. And thats because i do remember the gazillion and one tiny things they did to make it easy for me and even if it is still so hard today, it could have been a LOT harder.
May Allah keep everyones parents safe, and of course given parents the ability to love and respect their children
Re: Why Children Forget The Sacrifices Of Their Parent
Most importantly, this is what happens when you are not informed of those values urself.
Absolutely - you have got to wonder if there was something wrong with the way their daughter was raised that would make her choose such a course of action in the first place. A parent's responsibility is to bring up a child with strong Islamic values in a way that enables a child to make good decisions. If a parent only instills cultural values without religion, or if, on the other hand, the parents are overly strict and never allow the child to make decisions, they are not setting the framework for the child to make intelligent choices.
Re: Why Children Forget The Sacrifices Of Their Parent
On the other hand, I have seen a lot of desi parents abuse this term "sacrifice", i.e. I sacrificed for you, now do whatever I want. Desi parents haven't exactly cornered the market on self-sacrifice. Parents everywhere try to make the right decisions for their children, but you shouldn't hammer them over the head with it constantly.
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Ducky you’re evil and a horrible person because caring for parents is only the boys job, your job is to care for your saas. Your parents aren’t really your parents, ur just on loan to them..
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Natalia, all that is true, but consider another situation that I came to know of recently. Hindu girl reverted to Islam years ago but cannot get married, because her Hindu parents won't let her marry a Muslim. Her parents are loving and she appreciates their sacrifices. So her chocies are, get married and be disowned by her parents; or fulfill her duties as a daughter but stay unmarried and secretly practice her faith. (The issue of marriage is related to their izzat in society)
Let's not be quick to judge someone because we don't know the whole story. If a girl chooses to leave her home, it doesn't mean that she is of bad character, or that her parents didn't do a good job raising her. Parents always do the best they can, but sometimes Allah wills something different for some people. If you're fortunate enough not to be in such a situation, then give thanks... but don't be so quick to condemn someone to hell fire... let Allah be the judge.
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i'm sorry to say this but sometimes parents can be in the wrong, they can be the unreasonable ones, the unforgiving ones, the unfair ones and no matter how much the children try it isn't good enough for them. Children are always made out to be the evil ones and nobody ever points the finger at the parents! Fine they did give life to you and raise you and you do owe them everything but that doesn't mean that they can make your life misrable. You are your own person, you shoul respect your parents but your parents must also respect you!
i had an argument with my dad once it was over who should keep the family photos (i know it's stupid) me (26yr old) or my sis (17yr old) he said my sis could have them...i got really angry and shouted at him. Then i apologised again and again and again everyday for nearly seven months and he still did not speak to me!!! i nearly had a nervous breakdown, i couldn't concentrate on my work, on my life or anything and he wasn't even the slightest bit bothered. After saying all that, i love my dad he is the best in the world!!!
