Re: Why can't you women
Some things are hard, so lets not try. Keep at it and let us know how it works out. Or you can glance in your pants and remember you have a pair.
It's just the same case with me like we say in Urdu, " Pehli dafa hamesha darr lagta hai uss k baat insaan sher hojata hai". :)
Re: Why can't you women
Look..G..every chap is different. So to answer your question..ya it is good if a woman ventures into making a move..nothing wrong with that. I never judge them as something they are doing wrong or whatever. It's good if they are..tell me how confident and secure they are..about themselves. Like..say.."some" here..offer to meet you at empty box train..just make sure say no to that..before..train goes chayan chahayn on you...
See that's the thing. I did ask a man I respected out just for coffee a few weeks back and he was desi but for some reason just because i made the first move and asked him to hang out, he assumed I was all ready for "fun". he turned into a human octopus. Like now instead of remembering him by his name, the words scumsuckingpigface come to mind. After that little scary, screwed up experience of me making a dash for my car, I realized that some desi men do see "let's have coffee and hang out, get to know each other" as "let's get it on". Somehow I got screwed in the translation of what I was saying to what he really heard. I was dressed overly conservative where my skin was not showing in the least but how did he assume such things. Really he should change his name to scumsuckingpigface.
So now I ask how can I tell a douchebag like him, whom I respected quite a bit, from one that is actually and truly decent. I really don't want to make the first move after that little trip to slimyland.
This response kind of goes for Coughcough too.
Kind of? I demand my own response.
On topic, I would assume after asking him to coffee you guys exchanged details and were communicating. You can set your outing a week or so down the line. Within that week, talk to him a lot. Im sure he will also be keen. You will find out his expectations and what he thinks is going on. If its all good, proceed. If not call it off however you like.
Also, if you can, ask people what hes like. If you met him at a social event, theres a chance that someone you know can give you some info about him or at least help u get some info.
If however despite your best efforts it so happens that all the talk was smoke and mirrors and hes just a handsy creepy dude, do what you did and walk away.
Also if you dont want to make the first thats cool but dont let one bad experience change your opinion. We dont start walking on our first attempt.
It’s just the same case with me like we say in Urdu, " Pehli dafa hamesha darr lagta hai uss k baat insaan sher hojata hai". 
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Thats it man. My only advice would be to not invite her to a boxcar for your first date.
Re: Why can't you women
Because men usually like to chase or pursue.
Who told you that? That is bs myth created by women to explain why they rarely take the initiative or pursue.
I have a question for you: If men prefer to chase, why does every man want to be the guy who is pursued by women?
Dont worry, I dont expect any woman to answer this.
Men chase/pursue because they dont have another option. If they didnt do that women wont come to them and they'll remain alone all their lives.
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If he really is into a woman, wouldn't he move mountains to get her? What exactly is stopping a man from telling a woman he likes her and if he can't even do a simple thing like tell a woman he likes her then how long will it take him to do anything else in the relationship if he and she do end up married? Is it just laziness? Call me old fashioned but I just feel like a woman always needing to make the first move might seem a bit desperate to men that are old fashioned.
Is it just an ego boost for a man to get a woman to tell him she likes him?
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I realized that some desi men do see "let's have coffee and hang out, get to know each other" as "let's get it on".
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Men go through everything, and perhaps a lot more than what you fear women would go through if they took the initiative. Men risk rejection, they have women flaking out on them, they often get ridiculued, cold shouldered etc. If a man approaches and heaven forbid a woman doesnt like his face, she can fkn create a scene, label him a creep and (yes normal everyday apparently sane women do this and Im sure you do it too)
If you think some guys *take it the wrong way * then guess what honey? Its an occupational hazard and you better suck it up.
Most men have to approach 10 women before 1 or 2 shows some interest. So if you approach 10 guys and 3-4 of them turn out to be 'douchebags' then I wouldnt worry too much about you. Its an occupational hazard. Deal with it.
If you think approaching guys makes them arrogant then guess what? That exactly how most women are to us. Any woman who gets approached a lot has her head in the sky. Thats what we feel as men. Why is narcissism and arrogance sins only when men are guilty of it?
Now here are the real reasons women really dont want to take the initiative.
Hate me for speaking the truth..
They have an ego problem. They have bigger egos than men in this regard. They have a lesser ability to deal with rejection.
They are more narcisstic. They have a sense of entitlement. They feel they should be more desirable to the man than vice versa.
They are lazier. They dont want to put any effort in courting.
They cant deal with the uncertainty associated with pursuing someone.
They lack confidence. Yep one of the most important things they expect of men. They effin lack it themselves.
Being pursued gives them the upper hand, it puts them in the driving seat in courtship and who wouldnt want that?
They are shallower. They find very few men attractive/worthy enough to be pursued.
Re: Why can't you women
K i'll approach the guy that's been giving me these totally hot looks. He is the coolness in my eyes, I just completely melt the way he looks at me, he's so special, he just makes me feel wonderful when I see him and I would feel completely so hurt if he ends up being sir douchbag that does that with every woman but I already let 2 weeks go by and I can't see him for close to another 3 weeks so I guess I can tell if he's really interested or whether it was just short term affection by him or actual long term, life partner stuff.
So time shouldn't matter should it. And if it's meant to be it will happen.Maybe he already feels rejected because I didn't give him my phone number when he gestured for it. I'm confoooosed.
I think it's so hot when a man makes the first move though because he's taking charge. There's just something so manly about that take charge attitude.
I hope it's something special just because he's the sun, the moon, the stars when I look into his eyes. :(
Maybe that's why it's said that we should lower our gaze because if we don't we get ourselves in so much trouble emotionally
Edit: Forget it. I feel like if it's meant to be Allah will make it possible for me and him to be together. It's quite possible we aren't meant to be together since he isn't really making any effort to get to know me. I'm wasting way too many brain cells thinking about him rather than concentrating on more important things....leaving it to Allah.