To me, open relationships (IF done right) are an expression of security and independence of each partner. Being ok with your partner getting sexually involved with someone else requires you to not see their desire or their body as your own. It requires that you not be possessive in ANY sort of the way.
In a way, it’s sort of like a more noble version of love, where your own insecurities don’t get in the way of someone else’s life; even if it’s your partner.
Marriage is socially defined to be the way it is. We also attach a whole lot of expectations to it, because we are weak, and much weaker when alone. We expect to feel protected, even in the most subtle ways, in a relationship (of any kind).
Because we are weak, it is also one of the most difficult things to do. So, VERY few people have the courage to go that route (and I am not talking about mindless whoring around - but then again, what’s the problem with that?). I certainly don’t have that courage.
Obviously, there are more issues that come up with it; to what extent is the couple open; are they the primary relationship; if so, how is it handled with kids around etc. We don’t know the solutions to those issues because most people aren’t open. When you take a certain path, you find solutions to it too (if you’re willing).
It is also likely that certain life goals are better met with an exclusive relationship, with comparatively few variables. And so a certain lifestyle is preferred over the other. However, the decision lies with the couple.
