[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Minerva: *
I agree with Kaka here...but hey girls are so stupid and gullible creatures...
Just be with her and try to instill some sense in that poor kid... all will be well...
[/QUOTE]
Some Girls are stupid that they can't leave a guy who dont
give anything about you.
guys… hmm, dunno Sadz. I do not have much experience though but comparatively speaking, I guess they are more shrewed 
But still I would say its wrong to generalize…guys also fall very easily but the ratio of girls falling flat on their face would be higher in my opinion 'cuz girls take things way too seriously whereas the guys are good flirts and keeping in view our culture, girls usually consider ‘tu naheen or sahi or naheen or sahe’ an anathema… 
its most probably the girls fault. She is being overly emotional. Someone needs to kick her in the ovaries
I have to agree with ~Sehar~. Khumar I don't think all girls are like this and if she's like this she's just hurting her ownself, she has got nothing to gain from keeping herself in misery. She really should come out of it and only she can and yes I believe she truly can. I've seen many girls bounce back and this is what life is all about. Maybe she is just unsatisfied with life in general and finds this issue to be a convenient escape and scapegoat for her feelings of overall unhappiness? Maybe she needs to get busy with other things in life and find new goals.
One of my best friends got proposed to by this guy but he proposed directly to her but in their culture it must must must go through her parents...her dad is so strict that if he found out the guy went through her he would refuse the proposal without a second thought. Things didn't work out, maybe it was a misunderstanding, but in my opinion the guy was a number one jerk, a coward, and argh just a jerkkkkkk....I want to use some harsher words here but I won't, I honestly feel disgusted by the dude, and the surprising thing is that in his community he's got an excellent reputation and he's really very very well educated, like he went to one of the world's premier educational institutes. but I didn't like something about him from day 1 and I hinted that to my friend too but the fact that he approached her etc totally melted her, which it should't have. But she learnt from the experience atleast. Thankfully now she has moved on and overcome the issue.
Then there are cases where to the third person its completely obvious that one person in the relationship just does not have sincere intentions. Like I knew of an aunty who was married to a guy who used to sweet talk her and take loads of money from her and was actually involved with other women outside their marriage, but she chose to turn a blind eye to everything and was just clinging to him for emotional support. I thought that sucked and she should have had more respect for herself than to allow him to use her like that. He was literally cheating her and she was Ok with it just because she felt she 'loved' him. Ugh. I thought it was disgusting and I felt like killing that dude but she was always there for his support. Ugh. Yuck.
In another case I've seen, again one of my close friends, this guy told her he liked her and her first reaction was send your parents then to my parents so we can get married. He said he will but then a few months later he said that I won't be able to marry you. She still liked him but he had made it clear that there was no future so after a few months she was finally able to end it and mashallah now she is married to a great guy.
I've even seen women bounce back from divorces, then broken relationships are nothing compared to that.
Gamma you are right. Women's emotions are our biggest enemies. We need to think logically, we really do, and we need to realise what's best for us and follow that path instead of following our heart and just letting emotions rule us.
hmmm yea, i know what you guys are saying. and it is true that only she can truly make her self go on. (i am sure by my next comment some people will be agitated, so excuses upfront). i just think it was that desi mentality, that one is the One. and i am afraid that she might be thinking about that as well.
and i am not saying that there are some guys who are idiots as well, you know, not being able to move on. (I happen to know some...) but you know what, MOVE ON! it's just that this kind of behaviour i see mostly in girls. maybe more guys feel the same way too, but perhaps they keep it inside.
but i really like the view of "tu nahin to aur sahi, aur nahin to koi aur sahi" enjoy life yaara!
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
not just for a musalman.. for everyone..
we're all humans before we belong to any religion
[/QUOTE]
We are all born muslim :)
as for the topic at hand, women are generally very emotionally attached. For them its much harder to let go compared to men, next time tell her to scope the guy out personality wise before falling in love. I dont think you can love someone truly until they love you back.
Salamz
Classic story, girl falls for guy, guy isn't all that interested but then develops bad intentions that may lead to further awkwardness. Girl is head over heals and goes way overboard. And the same is true if the genders are swapped around.
I have no idea what u were talking about in the feminism speech that you deliverd as an intro, perhaps u should give it some more thought to see what it is or is all about. Islam never said men were superior to women, it says that both are different and both have different natural states and instincts that are hardwired into our cells.
Anways, your friend should be strong. Yess its difficult and it can mean a lot of things but there are some very important things in life that need to be addressed. Some very key issues like learning, teaching, contributing, developing, giving, asking, meeting, realising and thinking. About life and about the after life and there is so much knowledge out there that needs exploring. Relationships come and go in one's life, u meet tonnes of people in one year imagine how many people u meet in a lifetime.
What my advice to ur mate would be to keep things in perspective and not get too caught up in one person. In my opinion if yuo love someone then you mustn't start thinking about them too much because then you give them more importance than God. And that amounts to a form of shirk which is very dangerous. Love is there but like all good and bad things in life it is channelled. So snap out this daze and lift your chin up, roll your sleeves to ur elbows and get on with life.
Its too short to even stop for a quick breath.
I dunno you guys manage to come up with all sorts of crazy theories on why, how and why you should or shouldn't love someone etc.
Telling someone you cannot love someone before and until you are married.. which in our culture means when your parents choose someone for you!? That's insane!?
I think on some subconscious level you do choose whom you like and fall in love with. Hopefully as you get older and wiser you learn not to love so blindly and are able to find someone who actually loves you too.
Is it wrong to just fall in love with someone so quickly!? If you hardly know the person and get so strongly attached to them right away... I don't think it's the smartest thing to do... but it happens.
I have a friend who's parents met, fell in love and got married all within a week!?
Yet 30+ years later they are still together and very happy and all those people who were against it back then are now jealous of what they have.
I think in an ideal world it really should be that easy... and for some lucky people it is.
Relationships take time and lots of work. You don't just fall in love, get married and suddenly everything is ok. All kinds of stuff come up and life just happens and its how the two of you deal with everything together that determines how successful and happy your relationship is. It has nothing to do with how you met, when or if your parents approved and all that other crazy nonsense.
Khumar- Tell her she deserves someone who actually appreciates her. And in this case it is certainly ok to let go and move on.
We always want what we can't have..the more further something is away from us the more we want it...bad or good doesn't matter...just makes the whole scenario more exciting
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
not just for a musalman.. for everyone..
we're all humans before we belong to any religion
[/QUOTE]
nope. I have read that every one even non muslims are born as
muslims.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by mushi: *
Salamz
Classic story, girl falls for guy, guy isn't all that interested but then develops bad intentions that may lead to further awkwardness. Girl is head over heals and goes way overboard. And the same is true if the genders are swapped around.
I have no idea what u were talking about in the feminism speech that you deliverd as an intro, perhaps u should give it some more thought to see what it is or is all about. Islam never said men were superior to women, it says that both are different and both have different natural states and instincts that are hardwired into our cells.
Anways, your friend should be strong. Yess its difficult and it can mean a lot of things but there are some very important things in life that need to be addressed. Some very key issues like learning, teaching, contributing, developing, giving, asking, meeting, realising and thinking. About life and about the after life and there is so much knowledge out there that needs exploring. Relationships come and go in one's life, u meet tonnes of people in one year imagine how many people u meet in a lifetime.
What my advice to ur mate would be to keep things in perspective and not get too caught up in one person. In my opinion if yuo love someone then you mustn't start thinking about them too much because then you give them more importance than God. And that amounts to a form of shirk which is very dangerous. Love is there but like all good and bad things in life it is channelled. So snap out this daze and lift your chin up, roll your sleeves to ur elbows and get on with life.
Its too short to even stop for a quick breath.
[/QUOTE]
good reply.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Gamma Dilation: *
its most probably the girls fault. She is being overly emotional. Someone needs to kick her in the ovaries
[/QUOTE]
Jahil Insaan.
this is exactly the kind of thing i wouldnt let myself in for,
so okay it was really bad that i could easily find faults in so many guys, but i had to bcos i wanted to protect myself from heartbreak, its truly awful, ive seen what it can do to ppl
i wouldnt trust guys bcos i knew i couldnt trust my emotions to them
lekin, the only problem is after you spend so many years looking at guys negative aspects when you do meet the one and you just know theyre perfect for you its really hard to trust your emotions again
khair im learning, its not too difficult, one step at a time :) but its better to fall in love for the first time with someone your going to spend the rest of you life with, instead of them being a third/fourth significant someone
Re: Why are girls like this?
well i dunno why girls are like that.........but i guess its not just girls at the end of the day........im sure guys have done that too......fallen in love with the wrong gal and all that she has done is trample all over their feelings.................i guess some emotions cannot be controlled
Re: Why are girls like this?
dude…when did i write this? and i can’t remember who the girl was…
oh wait…i think i know who this girl is…and she’s moved on! woohoo!
Re: Why are girls like this?
May 13, 2004 
Re: Why are girls like this?
ok its kinda stoopid to bring back old "problem-solution" type threads.
Re: Why are girls like this?
hehe, especially when the poster doesn’t remember the thread.