Re: Why am I suicidal
Khair !!! for explaining . I finally understood what Imam Al-Ghazali is saying.
But how does this relate to what the boy is going through?
By knowing what to look for in an ideal balanced soul we can best determine the treatment for a person who is diseased. I am not viewing it as the ‘boy going through’ something. Rather viewing the boys condition as a result of a misaligned character.
Good and bad character is important for others but when character becomes very imbalanced then it can harm its own person. Rather than concentrating on sympathy for the boy, one needs to look at what has driven him to that state.
Re: Why am I suicidal
So you are saying that it is the imbalanced character which is leading him to this?
So is the same true in for other similar cases too?
I have a friend in a similar situation,well, not exactly same but everything similar except the suicide part her state of depression has not reached the state of attempting suicide .
So would that also be due to a misaligned character?
If so then how to correct/help her?
Re: Why am I suicidal
There are four attributes to a balanced person:
Courage, Temperance, Justice, Wisdom
Wisdom is a condition that is the middle of the range of attributes that stem from the faculty of intellect.
Courage is the middle of the range that stems from the faculty of irascibility or emotional state.
Temperance is the middle of the range that stems from the faculty of appetite
Justice stems from our sense of equilibrium which is how the other three are held in proportion to one another.
In the case of the intellect faculty the extremes are stupidity and and evil wit. Extremes in intellect produce the fruits of cunning, swindling, foolishness, etc. The fruits of wisdom will be excellence in discernment and penetrating thought.
In the case of the irascible faculty the extremes are recklessness and cowardice. These extremes lead to self- abasement, arrogance, rage, etc Whereas having courage will flourish into valour, nobility and endurance and steadfastness.
The appetite faculty is responsible for the trait of generosity, modesty, patience, when temperance is achieved. But will be known in its extreme conditions as greed, lust, gluttony, obscenity on one hand but utter disregard of self, celebacy, indifference on the other.
The equilibrium faculty only has one extreme position away from Justice and that is a state of Injustice. The thing to attain here is Justice in all matters and any movement away from it is a step closer towards total injustice.
Analyse the fruits (traits) in your friend and see that her imbalances will be leading her soul to a state of discontent. Ask of her to do those things that are not easy for her to do in order to balance her in character.
Re: Why am I suicidal
hmmmmmmm
Re: Why am I suicidal
oho
Re: Why am I suicidal
^ Peace Sara516
In all honesty I don't think that will work for you. Don't think your hubby won't feel uncomfortable seeing some next guy giving his missus pay offs? ... it may sort of make him feel insufficient ...
We are all better off wanting less trust me ... a rich kid has a problem and all you want is his cash ... have a heart!
Re: Why am I suicidal
Sarcasm bhi aik cheez hai. samjha karo.
Sorry I can't be bothered to gather sympathy for someone who has everything but doesn't realize it.
He should give away his money to someone who has more need for it.
Re: Why am I suicidal
Absolute agree with Dushwari;
I do not know where the office is located. He should not have walked out of the office without some important measures and in some cases its the law to put handcuffs on a person who seriously states he tried (not once but twice) to take his life. Its sort of psychiatric emergency.
There may not be a second session.
I regards to his analysis: Many many good points were already discussed.
All I feel as if his life was fast forwarded and he did not have something to struggle for.
And something he might have or wished for was not given to him. That includes many things but more importsantly his mother not being around much and his dad being away also for the most part.
He grew up being an intelligent, sensitive person but he was sort of gagged by the things provided to him to make him shut up and not to ask for gentle love.
His mother felt guilty or even was oblivious of his inner needs and tucked him at night to please herself but NOT HIM!
Re: Why am I suicidal
Few more points:
1- He is an example of self destructive behavior.
2- Men are more succesful in commiting suicide than women.
3- His wish for his mother to be succesful in getting younger look may be his indirect wish to be younger again and she delivers him what she did not deliver him as a child.
He wants to rewind his life. Since he feels as if the tape is finished.
I do not know where the office is located. He should not have walked out of the office without some important measures and in some cases its the law to put handcuffs on a person who seriously states he tried (not once but twice) to take his life. Its sort of psychiatric emergency.
And you really believe that bringing him hand cuffed out of that office would have helped him? Do you know about regression rate among those who are involuntarily thrown into psychiatric "correction centers"?
Do you understand the importance of identification and realization of a psychological anomaly on the part of the patient.
Sarcasm bhi aik cheez hai. samjha karo.
Sorry I can't be bothered to gather sympathy for someone who has everything but doesn't realize it.
He should give away his money to someone who has more need for it.
Compassion is a blessing, one can hardly "gather" or fake it.
Re: Why am I suicidal
i dont think i've read the cause of his suicide attempts.
his age is where people yearn to learn and expand their horizons. smokers are careless people. drug takers can have problems prior to or post abuse. some drugs can leave a person mentally crippled but probably not in his case as its not highlighted. finally, his familly life seems normal for their social class.
since he is said to be educated, i assume this is a university level graduation which he must have completed within the last few years. it must also be assumed that he was functioning normally at this point in his early twenties. his age and symptoms seems ripe for schizophrenia, or one of its components
And you really believe that bringing him hand cuffed out of that office would have helped him? Do you know about regression rate among those who are involuntarily thrown into psychiatric "correction centers"? Do you understand the importance of identification and realization of a psychological anomaly on the part of the patient.
You raised excellent questions. Please do not think I am imposing my thoughts on anyone. I am merely presenting my thoughts on the case at hand.
I am only going by what is presented in the first post.
There is lot to be known of the case and many times it is the gesture and the manner of the person (body language) during physical meeting which tells a lot than merely reading it in a post. Also the choice of words do matter but the manner it is delivered by the patient is very important.
1- Depression ( Perhaps he needs a formal diagnosis of it) and suicidal ideation is deadly disease.
( He is beyond just ideation)
2- There is higher rate of successful suicide among men.
3- Depression. Major depression with suicidal ideation and even attempting this act is not really completely curable or at least is a chronic illness.
4- These patients may have improvement with both non-pharmacologic and pharmacological interventions.
5- Institutionalizing these people is not necessary a definite solution but at times it is necessary. Specially if they are in imminent danger.
6- While it is very cumbersome fora treating physician or a family member to do what is considered an over-reaction but sometimes it is necessary not only to save a potential disaster but also to abide by local laws.
7- Handcuffing is only needed if someone resists after reasonable suggestion and is up to the authorities to decide.
8- Role of treating physician is outlined in medical literature and there is a big responsibility on physicians in this regard. I can only refer to medical literature and appropriate search on it at medical sites. A call to local emergency service is required. Such as calling 911 not only by the relatives/friends but by the treating physician.
9- God forbid the person goes home and really commits suicide, the physician may not have ground for defense. Just documenting the suicidal ideation and multiple attempt and not acing upon it is a serious business.
To er in safer route is better than not reacting to it.
10- The regression rate and my personal belief that institutionalizing these people seems irrelevant but I do agree that it may not be the outcome as we like to see or wish.
11- Common reaction of these patients is to deny that they have serious problem. At times it is so bad that that they develop 'negativism'.
Whatever you tell them they will do opposite. For example: You tell them not to smoke and they will light a cigarette after a smile. You tell them take medication and they will spit it even if given by a close relative, friend or a nurse.
More educated they are more they have a "rational approach" to do something bad.
They say: I am OK why worry about me? I just had a little attempt its not that I am going to do it again or whatever. Come on! Am I that stupid?
It is more difficult for treating physician (due to their own bias) to make them institutionalized but relatively easier to make them understand once it is done.
12- The person in question may not have all of this but certainly needs;
a-Very close follow up.
b-Not to be left alone all time.
c- Acute treatment while psych-analysis is under progress.
d- All access to any weapon/ sleep meds etc. need to be removed.
This does involve notifying local authorities so they cannot go buy a weapon.
Re: Why am I suicidal
intelli....its the summary of plot development of a very famous novel. :@:
i heart that novel.
so might get your answer from that novel.
ps. i think ALLAH SWT has chosen him for some very special purpose.
Air in the room was thick with smoke, an hour ago this young man entered into my office and since then he is smoking non stop. Smoking is a very strange phenomenon, nicotine though a chemical itself yet can creates strong emotional bonds with human feelings of sadness, of misery, of marry, of lethargy and with hyper activity, its victim is always in need for a puff, always craving for a drag, smoking is a vaporized poison that provides instant relief while tightening the knot on the death rope.
His eyes were big and brown curious and seemingly always asking questions even when lips are sealed, around six feet tall with glowing fair skin, his manners and posture were all reflective of his affluence. He was educated young man in his mid twenties.
Tell me something about yourself, I asked him with a professional dignity on my face,
My name is Zeeshan, he started with dazed vice, I belong to a very rich family, my father runs a huge business, he is sixty five years old, success and prosperity reflects through his face, he never looks older than fifty years. My mother, on the other hand, is fifty years old, despite all the age defying skin therapies, her youth and glamor is history now, she is desperately trying to guard her rightful status of my father’s wife in a society where many opportunities exist for my father and none for my mom. I always wonder why wish to stay young among men is granted more often and never among women.
As a young kid I was provided with every toy that I ever dreamed of, every dress that I ever asked for, and every food that I ever wish for. Commuting to my school in chauffeur driven car, I always thought myself special, a blessed one and extra ordinary. We had a marvelous home with number of servants always ready to accept a command, I have been raised by governess, my manners are carefully and professionally embedded into my personality. My mother was young and beautiful at that time, always busy with social activities, I hardly ever saw her during the day time, but she never forgot to tuck me in at night, never forgot to say good night with a kiss on my forehead. Motherly love is ingrained and never conditioned.
As a young man I went to the best schools and finally graduated from Harvard school of social sciences. I run my own latest model beamer which my father gifted me on my last Birthday, I am at the last stair that leads to a door of successful life, yet I feel myself so indifferent about every thing, so antipathetic towards the word success.
All my life I have tried to understand happiness, I did every thing that is considered cool, I tried cigarettes, then drugs, wine, sex and what not, yet I am always devoid of this commodity. I attempted to commit suicide twice in one month however unlike everything else, I could not achieve “death” when I so desire it.
What’s wrong with me sir?
(First session concludes).
May you people help me to find what is wrong with this boy?
Lonelyness
He got everything but didn't get much love from his parents. So he tried to find in cigerette, durg, sex etc etc.
He needs a companion who could give him value spend time with him. So loyal to him.
Also need his parents love too.
A kiss and a good night from her mom is not enough.
He didn't say what his father did for him to show that he is his father I'm not talking about car and other things. I'm talking about love and time for him. A hug and kiss. Spending time.
He is so lonely. Gr8 heera's prescription.
Re: Why am I suicidal
Sorry I only read 1st post.
Re: Why am I suicidal
The only way to true happiness is by helping/serving others. There is no greater duty in this world than khidmat-e-khalq, and it is the spiritual sufi's way to true enlightenment, peace, and happiness.
Re: Why am I suicidal
You are right Khidmat e khalq say khushi to mil sakti hai baytahasha agar person is baat ko ahmiaat deta hai to.
Laikin jis cheez ki ussay talab hoti hai jo dunia main her kisi insaan hi kia janwar ki bhi hoti hai aur wo hai talab mohabbat ki.
Khaas tor say parents ki. Jub wo na milaay to insaan kay undar aik khilaa paida ho jata hai jo phir kisi cheez say naheen bharta usko bharnay kay liaay parents ki hi mohabbat ki zaroorat hoti hai.
Agar wo na mil sakay to insaan us mohabbat ko ya kisi ki mohabbat ko bohat sari cheezon main dhoondhta phirta hai jo ussay kaheen bhi naheen milti aur wo baysakoon ho jata hai hamaisha kay liaay. Her cheez main waqti thora ussay sakoon milta to her per rooh uski wohi pyasi ki pyasi rehti hai.
Us rooh ki pyaas bharnay kay liaay kisi companion ki zaroorat hoti hai aur uski Suchchi mohabbat ki.