Would you want your husband to be more obedient to you or to your MIL when there are “conflicts” in making different decisions in life ?
Men
Whom would you prefer following, when both of them give a logical opinion in any matter yet there is a conflict due to different views.
Both
What factors would effect your views ?
For example
As he is always busy during the whole week, on weekend wife wants to go only with husband, to cinema to have some romantic time alone with him, but his mom wants him to spend whole sunday with her by staying at home, as she can’t travel due to old age.
Whom would you prefer following, when both of them give a logical opinion in any matter yet there is a conflict due to different views.
In most such matters, there is no logic involved from either side. Opinions are based on emotions. Truth is based on perception. I believe logic cannot be contradictory, if judgments are based rationally.
it is not about obedience. it is about regard and care.
being sensitive is not foreign to men, is it?
but unfortunately, they are socialized to be the obedience seekers.
where as if they are fair, they would be understood even before a demand for agreement will surface.
my hope is that some things women and men, as noble couples, should only share between themselves as they are each other's confidant and that bond enables them to face all challenges together as one soul.
brother STP,
there is nothing that you cannot agree on with your spouse or intended spouse, if you are truly caring for each other.
when you are sincere an dthe other person is not, then yes, disagreement will feel like an escape vacation from your side of the responsibility to maintain momentum and be recognizant of the place of your spouse in your life, while giving due reasonable respect to your parents' family.
How about compromising? Ever heard of compromise? It requires some flexibility of thought, which means you have to stop thinking rigid and within a box. Try to think outside of the box.
Now lets see. Wife wants you on the weekends, and your mom wants you on weekends.
Saturday - wife day; Sunday - mom day?
Alternate weekends - this weekend its with your wife, next weekend is with your parents, third weekend is with her parents. She does have parents, doesn't she? And do you pay any iota of attention to them, or do you think the world revolves around your mummy?
Really, with all the buk buk you do on Islam, this should be a no-brainer. Look at how the Prophet distributed his time equally among the lady relatives in his life, including his daughters.
How about compromising? Ever heard of compromise? It requires some flexibility of thought, which means you have to stop thinking rigid and within a box. Try to think outside of the box.
Now lets see. Wife wants you on the weekends, and your mom wants you on weekends.
Saturday - wife day; Sunday - mom day?
Alternate weekends - this weekend its with your wife, next weekend is with your parents, third weekend is with her parents. She does have parents, doesn't she? And do you pay any iota of attention to them, or do you think the world revolves around your mummy?
Really, with all the buk buk you do on Islam, this should be a no-brainer. Look at how the Prophet distributed his time equally among the lady relatives in his life, including his daughters.
err... many assupmtions here..
1) It's a third person scenario, which may or may not have anything to do with his personal life. He is merely asking for opinions.
2) Even if he was talking about his situation in particular, he mentioned "him and his mom", and that doesn't even remotely indicate that he would 'force' his wife to be with him when he is with his mom. So why the issue of him being with her parents be advocated so violently?
its ramadan people, which means most of us will be in a state of fast... dont u think us personally attacking a person (and potentially hurting them) will ruin our roza... is it worth it? if there's something constructive to be said, it should be said nicely :)
1) It's a third person scenario, which may or may not have anything to do with his personal life. He is merely asking for opinions.
JazakAllah Khair. You are right, it was not related at all to my personal life, just a scenario I had in mind and I wanted to learn how different people would comment on it.
Rarely in my life has my heart prayed for anyone online like it did for you after you clarified my intentions.
@ Pinks. JazakAllah khair sister for a beautiful response.
@PyariCgudia. Please pray that Allah may forgive me for my mistakes. I would be insha'Allah more careful in future
May Allah (swt) bless you all and your families with all the blessings of this life and hereafter
