Whose liability is a woman?

Society Religion & Philosophy
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i have been married for the past 13 yrs but most of the time i have shuttled back and forth between my parents an in laws home …according to my in laws im my parents liability,they keep on teasing me that ur parents r billionaires cant they pay for their daughters needs on the other hand i get rebuked from my parents that enough is enough its high time ur husband should support u (btw as a punishment i have been kicked out by my in laws and my husband is staying with my parents)
im very well educated i have insisted various times that plz let me earn myself and sustain my life i wont b a burden on anyone …but again that loser husband wont let me do that…things will get complicated…and divorce will b evident…i have two kids and i don’t want this to happen ..specially wasting away my prime years in this rut.what does shariah say about this …if nothing gets straight ill commit a suicide at least i wont b anyone liability in my grave:teary1::teary1:

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Re: Whose liability is a woman?

It's the husband's responsibility to support his wife. Not the in-laws, not the parents.

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Re: Whose liability is a woman?

sounds like your husband is the burden on you, not vice versa. buy him some cyanide if your suicide solution is to work right.

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Re: Whose liability is a woman?

Answer to your question in the title: A woman is NOT a liability.
In case of a married woman, it is the DUTY of the husband to provide for her needs.

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Re: Whose liability is a woman?

i have tried everything in the world to fix him but nothing woks plz tell me what t do im very very helpless the only answer i get is that ill snatch the kids from u that going t teach u the right lesson why am i the victim from all sides y is god being so cruel t me

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Re: Whose liability is a woman?

if he is useless, and you are already living with your parents, why don't you send him to his parents' place?

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Re: Whose liability is a woman?

then ill lose my kids any they r going t destroy them theyll learn nothing but lies and fraud and how to thrive on others pocket

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Re: Whose liability is a woman?

Peace tigerlilly,

Sorry to hear that but plz bear in your mind that what from u r going throw, is not made by the God but it is man-mad things which caused this problem in your life.

As many stated it is Man's (husband) duties to take responsibilities of his house i.e., wife, kidz etc., Ask you parents or elders in your family/relative to sit together and provide some sort of solution of this.

One the other hand, read Namaz-e-Hajat, do a lot of dua and if possible then give some charity. We'll keep you in our prayers.

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Re: Whose liability is a woman?

Peace tigerlilly

Seek professional advice. You need to tell this story to a wakeel. Your husband is full of empty threats too. He does not work, right? He will not have the motivation to follow through with the threat … He’ll have to take care of the kids … With whose money? :hehe:

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Re: Whose liability is a woman?

it is definitely a Husband's responsibility as per shari'a and, to some extent, even in the secular system. it's a woman's God gifted right to be financially supported by husband.

having said that, in today's time, our expenses are, necessarily or unnecessarily, way beyond a man's salary...Islam orders husband to provide for his family at par with his level of income. if you, as a woman, want more than that in life, then it's ONLY fair that you chip in, share the burden or live within the means of your husbands income. fair enuf?

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Re: Whose liability is a woman?

Peace KKF

The money is not hers its her parents money and her husband is not seeking work and does not have an income ...That is the difference ... The inlaws are pushing her to source money from her parents ... this is the real bone of contention.

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Re: Whose liability is a woman?

Couple of things that you need to look into:
1) Is you husband atleast making a genuine effort to earn a decent enough living
2) Do you think your pre-marital lifestyle has an effect on what level of standard you expect to be living at.
Your husband may not be providing all the comfort you had prior to marriage, but if he is cooperative with you and provides average amenities, then you should try to live within those means.

It is indeed very crass and dishonorable for your inlaws to be expecting your parent's money. You mentioned that you have kids, so getting a divorce is definitely a very difficult decision.
One thing I can think of is that if you parents are very well off, they can provide some sort of business opportunity for your husband as a type of loan. Dont have your parents give him money (it will just end up going to in-laws pockets), but possibly provide a startup. Your parents dont have to do this, but if they can afford, it may be beneficial for both parties. Good luck.

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Re: Whose liability is a woman?

Its high time women realize they are their own responsibility. After all men and women are equal right ?

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Re: Whose liability is a woman?

^ Men and women are equal.

However, I think that their responsibilities are different once they agree to marry each other.

Man has to take care of his wife's expenses, and the household expenses. Or at least, he should be trying his best to.

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Re: Whose liability is a woman?

^ and why is that. Why cant men and women have equal responsibility towards the family. Either dont make a claim that they are equal or do it properly. I am just saying in general not asking you particularly.

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Re: Whose liability is a woman?

But she said her husband is not letting her earn…

I don’t think the guy can take away your kids from you if he is a good for nothing looser…no judge is going to grant that…I think you should start looking for a job..talk to lawyer and see what your options are and then blind side that jerk with a divorce :snooty:

Oh..and women are NOT a liability…(just as an above poster mentioned).