Recently in the news, a 14 year old girl commit suicide because of excessive bullying.
Some of the teenagers were expelled from school and some were indicted. However, as far as i know, no adults (i.e. school officials) have been charged despite having full knowledge that such bullying was going on.
I was reading in the newspaper that the mother of one of these girls blamed Prince (the victim).
In another situation, a 5 year old girl was bullied in her KG class, kicked and beaten by other classmates, and her hair was chopped off. and still teachers didnt’ do anything.
It seems like alot of parents and school officials do not take bullying seriously at all. They think its just kids being kids. To what extent does it go from immaturity to being dangerous?
Should the parents be charged in this situation for their kids being bullies?
^ i think the parents should absolutely be held responsible! they talk about holding parents responsible if their kids cut school, but this is something far, far beyond that!
Is it safe to assume that these kids (the bullies) are the direct cause of "bad parenting"?
Im sure there are many parents whose kids do things that don't make them proud, but bullying (be it cyber or in real life)? Rape? Where are these shallow, mean spirited people coming from???
i'm gonna go as far as to say that this (and cases like this) should be treated as murder. She may have taken her own life, but circumstances were such that she probably so desperate and frustrated and felt like she had no choice.
Bullying is universal and has gone on since kids began going to schools. I think kids can be inherently mean. But its a very serious issue.
Who's at fault? Every adult that knew about it and of course the kids who do the bullying. Parents of bullies should also be held accountable. They have arrested 9 teens in connection with the suicide and I hope they're ccharged with murder. IMO, any adult who knew about it and did nothing should be charged with accessory to murder.
That wont likely happen sad to say. But the parents of the victim can sue the school district, the principal and teachers and the parents of the bullies. I hope they do and I hope that they're all ruined financially and professionally.
Many school districts have "zero tolerance" policies for bullying. That means a bully is removed from school, parents are notified, counselling put in place. When the bully is deemed ready, they can return to school under watchful eyes but its their last chance. Thats how ALL schools should handle bullying and I think that there are actually new federal laws in the works about it.
No matter how we put it, at the end of the day its parents fault. Parents of kids should be aware of such things (i.e their kid has been bullied to this extent). If they interact with their kids everyday, these things will reduce drastically if not vanish but nah they normally dont have enough time left for kids after watching Planet Hollywood and HBO movies......
I want to agree with you Decent6chora but I'm not sure...yes parents need to know what their kids are up to. But most bullying takes place at school. We dont know what kids say to each other and how they interact during the school day. That goes esp with teens.
We can keep a close eye on their internet activities, their textings etc and we should!! But it goes much further than that. Teachers need to be aware and they need to take action. I was just reading that Mass. where this teen died, is one of the remaining states to have little in the way of anti-bullying laws. 41 states do have them. These laws put much more responsibility on the schools to provide a safe environment for all. You can bet that Mass will be passing some new laws soon inshallah!
Mamaof3, I am not talking about monitoring kids but talking to them. Not-talking your heart and mind out is single biggest source of issues/conflits in our life (this being no exception). I am sure you will be surprised if you have to go out and conduct a survey on how many parents talk to their kids daily about how was your day, if they (kids) have something to tell, something to ask and this should start from kindergarten. You can not all of a sudden start this at the age of 10 and then expect that your kid will share every single thing with you.
If these issues are discussed and resolved on day-to-day basis by either telling kids on how to deal with it and if its a serious issue then taking it to teacher/principal directly, I am sure we can curb these things
Kids learn from their parents .... and if parents choose to turn a blind eye and have the "kids will be kids" mentality and let it slide ... again, its the parents who are responsible.
Do you think a wife beater only becomes a bully after getting married? No. It's there from childhood and it's their parents who turned a blind eye to what was going on in school.
I don't buy the argument that parents are not aware of what their kids are doing at school. To some extent, that can be true, but come on .... a thug doesn't just behave like a thug at school. They do it everywhere. Parents need to stop treating these thugs like their 'chand ka tukra' and make them take some responsiblity for their actions and teach them there are consequences for their behaviour.
In the same article I was reading, there was a sidebar with several tips to spot if your child was being bullied or a bullier, and both of them pointed out behavior when it came to internet and cell phone usage. The bullier will be glued to their devices and become agitated when you take away their access, while the victim will deliberately avoid these tools.
An expert said that kids normally don’t have impulse control, and armed with technology are the makings of a bully. Same goes for “sexting” amongst teenagers. More sphisticated technology combined with a lack of morals and values…
I’m sure there is that odd case where the parents did raise the child right but still their child turned out to do something like this but otherwise, parents usually know their child is a db and turn a blind eye to it.
Usually parents DO know that their child is being bullied but alot of the time the complaints fall on deaf ears. Officials will turn a blind eye, other parents will accuse the victim of deserving teh abuse
I agree with you ladies about parents knowing their children and about imparting upon them the attitudes they bring to school with them each day. For sure.
Yet...kids can be different at school. I have a situation with middle son ... he is happy and well-adjusted at home but I got a call from school that he is depressed and anxious at school. This knocked me off my seat.
Parents are the front line for sure. But you need vigilant teachers and you need to be assured that your child goes to school unhassled every day. I've heard far too many parents say "that doesnt sound like MY child!!!' when hearing about how they do in school. Teachers and schools need to be as involved as parents I think.
This scares me so much, sure you can talk to your kid all the time and keep the communication lines open. Lets say you know about them being bullied but what do you do if the authorities don't do anything? Do you take your kids away from the school, change the state you live in or what?
My 4 year old started complaining about one of the boys in her class to me that he pushes her, hugs her too hard and jumps on her, I spoke to her lead teacher and also told her to go tell the teacher the minute he pushed her or bothered her. Her school has a very good policy and they talked to the child's mother, they also assured me that they were working on improving his behavior together with his parents and if things don't improve, they will expel the child. At this age, its just this type of bullying and I can cope with that but what happens when my child grows up ..... I'm already getting worried. I know Virginia's public schools have a zero tolerance policy but I still worry.
Theres something I sadly learned the hard way. When your child is not provided with a safe enironment, condusive to learning then the school is at fault. The school will usually not acknowledge this...but give the slightest hint of attorney involement and just watch them scramble like mexican jumping beans on a hot fry pan.
I had a horrible situation turned around completely - the very next day - because there was a hint to the school administration that I had the full backing of an attorney and that I was very serious about getting the issue fixed.
When it comes to bullying, I'd pull my kid out of school, hire an attorney and tell the school that my child will return when and IF they can provide a safe, harrassment-free environment for him. And if they cannot provide this within a very fast time frame, my child will be enrolled in a private school for which the district will foot the bill.
Things are not perfect in USA for sure...but education of our children is a very protected right and one which I would fight for.
