Who's more mature?

[_Iraj]

Re: Who’s more mature?

@Faisal

Oh no! Now, you have offended me. Too bad. I think a 20 year old Pakistani girl living in Pakistan is more mature. Since we have no basis to claim one way or the other, we are just yapping about hypothetical girls living here or there without any context, I think it is a great use of our time to argue on this.

On a more serious note, back in Pakistan, one of my friends had a maid working at their house. She was about 20-21. Orphaned at the age of 7, married at the age of 16, 2 kids, husband died, re-married, her second husband used to beat her, had a miscarriage, filed a police case, her husband was arrested, she got threatened by his family, got divorced and escaped all that by coming to the city to her khaala who got her a job as a maid at my friend’s place. In Pakistan, these kinds of stories are dime a dozen, so to speak. Now you can argue if this girl is more or less mature than a 21 year old living in Pakistan/abroad who has led a sheltered life, goes to college, and thinks that if her boyfriend doesn’t respond to her SMS within 20 minutes it will break her heart and will cause a bigger tragedy than Jal separating from Atif Aslam.

Just making a point, here, of course. Lets keep things in perspective. Thanks.

well there are both - good and bad perpectives of both kinds
even then Pakistani gurls are more mature than avg Foriegn citizen

@hareem01

Most Pakistani girls living in Pakistan have this evilness and mkaari inside them that I don’t see in Paki girls who are born or raised abroad.

But in some areas of thinking Paki girls living in Pakistan are so naive and simple.

Also, mostly Pakistani youth living abroad is aware of their religion than the others.

and who told you that ???

@zobia

both are immature.

but in pakistan they try to act mature, dont know why

depends on the nature of the gurl , can act anywhere , if she’s of the type

@X2

abroad where? US? Saudi Arabia?
and in Pakistan where? major city, chuk #42?
what social group..?

aside from each individual being…err individual…unique. These factors play a role as well.

and then what is your definition of maturity.

Having said all that if I had to answer teh question in generalities, I would say that a 20 year old in US is more mature than an avg 20 year old in Pakistan. In general they have seen more, have had access to more information, have the opportunity to do more,** I mean just look at how many 20 year old desi girls in US have worked**, even if it is just a summer job during break, or how many have been involved in different organizations and compare that to avg girls in pakistan. That ios just one example.. It does not mean that having the indeoendence and opportunity automatically makes one more mature but there is a higher likelihood.

I saw a world of difference in desi guys who had moved here for undergrad and were putting themselves through college, or even if they were not. Compared to their friends back home they were def more mature. I have heard many times from my friends, and it was my own experience as well that the guys there just seemed to be stuck in some kid of rut and not really growing as people or growing slow.

perhaps it is the same with girls.

The amount of work done does not make you mature.
that is their obligation , their liability , that if they don’t work , they will not be able to survive .
and especially with gurls/ women it’s not the same .

@Iconoclast

Whether in chuk #42 or from Karachi, (barring those who fall on either side of teh average joe), a 20 year old in Pakistan is more mature than 20 year old living abroad.

In Pakistan they are on their own from much younger age and develop the survival skills earlier. I have seen that in medical college, which cater students from every where, majority from Pakistan and a sizeable number from abroad. Those raised in Pakistan do better both academically and socially than those from abroad. It takes students from abroad 2-3 years to catch up on locals.

I reckon

@X2

2-3 years to catch u on locals because they are in a new culture and environment, obviously it takes getting used to, especially if they are coming from a place where due process etc is the norm and not the type of ghunda gardee that desi colleges are known for.

a 20 year old living abroad can be away from home in a different state and living completely independently. working on and/or off campus, paying ren, utilities, car payments etc,

desi 20 yr oldsin pakistan can barely iron their own clothes and do laundry let alone sign contracts, and be financially responsible for jack.

street smar

this is because of all the social securities - there’s a dire threat of life in Pakistan . Even Bay nazer was notr able to handle it

@Iconoclast

I found this to be true of ABCDs rather than Pakis back home. Local students in hostel used to do all of their stuff by themselves, including laundry and some even did jobs, and took care of their tution fees etc. Compared to those from abroad who used to spend lavishly.

Same can be said of FOBs landing in USA/UK.

By the way, i too for quite a while beleived that boyz from chuk#42 had low IQ, but if you go beyond their attire and the paindoo accent, they are no way less intelligent than ABCDs.

True . I found out so many good things about Pakistanis when i went to the hostel .

@X2

majority of desi dont live in hostels do they?

sure, it takes time for them to adapt also. and has nothing to do with maturity, that is what I was hinting at. Yo had brought it up, and my view was that it was irrelevant.

‘too’ would indicate that someone else here said that boys from chuck#42 have low IQs. there are a couple of issues with this statement. I never said they had low IQ. Nor am I really concerned aboyt their attire or pandu accent. so lets not keep running on tangents

The issue is of maturity, and fact of the matter is that majority of desi girls in pak at teh age of 20 live in a very protective atmosphere, dont work, are not really responsible for much. the ability to take responsibility fpor oneself, and to do that well shows maturity in my view, and on that scale, most Pakistanis in Pakistan have not had a reason to take personal responsibility and thus do not have that maturity, its not to say that they cant become mature or have an inability to be mature.

They are much maturer , because they live in an environment that is Protective from the outside , but the inside it is totally different .

@saieen

just the bold part…fact is simple that they live in a different country, different society with different cultural and traditional values and norms.

as for the original post…its moronic to compare the two simply bcos the social and cultural make up of pak and other countries is not the same and differs in more than 1 way. as for working and exposure to the world, well that doesn’t really make them mature. infact it puts them in a situation where they have to live a two-faced life, one outside the house, one in the home. i call it deceiving, you can call it maturity or whatever u like.

I believe that too

@Cheegum

Pakistan has mainly two (and a half) groups of people.

1. The rich ones who can afford all the luxuries of life, live in flashy houses, have govt connections all over and have naukar chaakar serving their every whim.
2. The (majority) poor ones who have to live hand to mouth and live in either villages or slums in the city.
3. And (the half) fast disappearing middle class.
   20 yr old girl abroad is more mature than the first kind. But not nearly as mature as a 20 yr old girl from the other two kinds.

IMHO.

Excellent Analysis

@Sara516

First of all, what’s “Mature”???

maybe in practical life, girls brought up here can be more “mature” than a girl who lives in Pak, whose never left her house without her family…

but in one regard, i think pakistani girls have beat american-rased girls… and that’s in being chalaak and manipulative. Whether that’s good or bad…depends on the victim..

annd Is it because you don’t live in Pakistan ? :aq:

@Iconoclast

IT ALL DEPENDS UPON WHT YOU CALL “MATURITY”.

Ability to negotiate the challeneges that one faces or solve the problems that come across, that what i call maturity.

And in my experience that a 20 yr old living in Paistan is better at it than 20 year old living abroad.

[quote=Iconoclast;5710175.

Life is hard for most Pakistani youth.[/quote]

No doubt

@Iconoclast

So you haven’t been in Pakistan for a decade that explains why you don’t know much about them. May be the middle class in Karachi is large and relatively wealthier but in pther parts of country, middle class kids in 20’s don’t get their hands on money to enjoy any luxuries.

Well, in west 20 year old tend to do jobs on campus, sure, Pakistani 20 year old don’t, coz the don’t get any suitable job on campus, but many of them do tutoring or help with their parents, who usually have small business or shops etc.

yeah there are so many things covered in so many ways that it is hard to put them all down

@X2

well not much seems to be worth it for pakistani youth anyways, the difference shows quite clearly in the impact of youth fueled service organizations in US versus those in Pakistan. sense of volunteerism seems to be pretty bad there.

this does not provide any evidence of being irresponsible