well u cant have the cake n then eat it too..
Re: who would you pick?
Its her choice after all . Suck it up .
Re: who would you pick?
if the girl told you about her fiance being possessive about her then she should reconsider her relationship with him.
and btw who is not possessive? some are possessive about shoes, others are possessive about friends, many parents are possessive about their kids...so whats a big deal here about fiance being possessive.
Re: who would you pick?
^To an extent it's natural to feel possessive. When it's to an extreme (where you're making threats and preventing the other person from having a social life)...then it can harm the relationship. That's the big deal.
Re: who would you pick?
^ to me its more of a trust issue. may be he trust her but not her friends..you know what i mean.
I agree getting extremely possessive makes the relationship unbearable especially when you are not even legally or religiously bound in a relationship. however, there are guys who like to be your dada aba and they literally treat you as a tiny little girl and they want you to do what ever pleases them. so to be in a relationship with him she has to be on his highway or otherwise the other way, as some people are rigid in their policies and they don't like compromises (especially when they have no problem getting anyone else. they are smart, intelligent, good looking, making good money, good background, strong values and foundation.).
she gotta make the decision.
Re: who would you pick?
too many mouths too much talking
up to the girl!!!!!!
^Yup, that's emotional blackmail....where he gives her the "option" to do whatever she wants...but it comes with a heavy price. Right now, he's emotionally blackmailing her with ending the rishta..........tomorrow he could use divorce threats as part of his emotional blackmailing.
Today, he's preventing her from attending parties because some girl or the other that he dislikes might be there. Tomorrow he may prevent her from seeing her own family.
The in-laws may be very sweet, but it's him that she'll be married to and will deal with on a closer level. I think your friend should surprise the guy by actually acting on his emotional blackmail and ending this rishta. She should move on with her life as opposed to making excuses for him and hoping that she'll be able to change him. He's got major control/insecurity issues....and sounds creepy.
The above is very well said !
I was in kind of exactly same situation ... a little worse than hers and it was a disaster.
From my engagement day he started controlling me. I knew him for 2 weeks before engagement and I think those were the best I ever had with him , he was completely different during those 2 weeks. Khair , a couple of my friends attended my engagement and the very next day he called me and told me to not meet one of my friend ever again and end my friendship with her .....why ? because he did not like what she was wearing. Anyway , after a month of engagement I was being given a chance to go abroad form for a week training , he made me quit that too . Now I really was trying to understand the fact he is going to be my husband so he is being possessive and I tried to took it normally. After marriage , he did not like me speaking with my dad or my uncles , he did not like my family to even visit me once a week. So much so , he even did not let me talk with his bhabis & his uncles & aunts ( u know I have never met his cousins , khala , mamoo , chacha etc anyone) . Whereas he himself was friendly with his bhabis to an observable extent , he had a friend who was actively involved in wrong activities and used to sleep around with women etc. So many times I asked him to avoid company of such a friend but that would always resulted in screams & shouts. He used to check my mobile everyday and I was not allowed to even touch his. The fact was that he had a problem with every relationship that I had in my life.
Now mine was an extreme case but such stuff from your fiancé' are alarming. Observe them , if your friend thinks that he is too much controlling than it will get worse after marriage ...don't ignore them. Then after marriage he will not only control her friendships but even what she ate , when she ate , when she slept , what she wore , her finances , her relationship with her family everything. Like everyone said think alot , measure all the pros and cons and take a decision.
Re: who would you pick?
^ so then what happened diamond321?..did u get a divorce or r u still with him?
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diamond i had a damn similar scenario but thank God i managed to stir the gear in the right direction
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Hmmmm soni & korn .....my only purpose to share my personal experience was to provide a practical example to the OP so that her friend can take a decision that is best for her. one can learn from other people's mistakes too.
Re: who would you pick?
Its a two way street. Meeting together with other girls/guys should be ok. As long both of you are there.
When you go out WITHOUT HIM - it should be common courtesy to limit your exposure to other sex (especially if they are single).
Same goes for him, he shouldn’t be meeting girls off his own.
Mehh what do I know … I am just a kid (aka not married) :chusni:
He must have been dating that guest girl before 
awww 
i have seen few cases like this as well…i had a friend who had a fiance like this…always interfering in her matters…keeping an eye where she goes…whom she meets etc etc…they broke the engagement a month before the wedding!
Re: who would you pick?
There is something definately not right there.. men are possessive about their wives but that does not mean that she can't live her life and make her decesions. She should reconsider before getting married if this is already happening.
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why the heck does she listen 2 him she should jus go or do stuff without telling him she cant let him control her like that 4 the rest f her life if shes still gna marry him, she seriously needs 2 speak up