Re: Who Wears the Pants
This whole argument/topic is very cultural and takes much consideration. For example, when you live in desi land, the role of the husband and the role of the wife are defined very differently than if you live in the west. In desi land, wife stays home (preferably or popularly) and husband works, there is household help and family nearby. Workweeks are not overly long.
In the west, (typically), there isnt family all too nearby, workweeks are very long, vacation time is short, many families require 2 incomes to get by, household help is impossibly expensive, houses are small with 1 or (maybe 2) bathrooms.
In desiland, husbands do not get involved in any way with the running of the household. In the west its a requirement that they pitch in even if the wife does not work outside the home. Life in the west truly requires a partnership in the marriage where the 2 work together to make a happy home. Life in desiland can be more like life was over here in the 1950's.
Anyway, my point is that many desis look at the successful "western" husbands as not wearing the pants in the family without regard to the cultural differences....its silly really. My husband has been called (some Urdu name I cant remember) just because he helps out around the house and because we share in the decisions of finance, what cars to buy, how much to spend on what. He is not averse to putting in a load of laundry when I've had a hard day of taking care of the 3 littles. They do make fun of him, those idiots who have servants to do everything for them except wipe their butts.
My man is a MAN and he wears the pants but not in the eyes of the desis. I am most happy and lucky to be the stay at home mom but that doesnt mean that I can keep the house going without his help. So its all a matter of perspective I think. I like a "man's man", a very strong man and thats what I have...but in the eyes of some of these pampered desi men, he doesnt wear the pants, they think he's wimpy I guess for not demanding that things be more desi-like while they live their lives being pampered by servants.