Re: who to trust
^Yeah never comlain to ur husband. just be greatful to him for marrying u n keeping u in his home.
Re: who to trust
^ I didn't mean that. I meant that complaining about something might not always be effective. Usually there are better ways of getting people to do what you want...More attractive ways that is, a person should not feel forced to do anything as a compulsion or duty. It would be more effective if one is able to make him do that work by heart.
My point of view would remain the same if a man complains that his wife doesn't fulfill his rights intentionally or unintentionally.
study, do a job or find a hobby, whatever but keep yourself busy. don t give himt he time of day for at least two weeks. dont make it look like youre doing it on purpose. watch him come running after you.
RAW has a good point. he should want ot come to you. the charm of a lady!
^Good advice here... no one wants to come home at the end of a long day and hear nagging. Take some classes or do some volunteer work. If you don't know how to drive, learn.
Play video games with him, hubby and I used to play wow together - it was a lot of fun. If he is always running to his friends, then you need to make sure that you are just as entertaining and fun to be around as they are.
Women are not toys or objects that the burden of 'entertaining' lies on them. She is his partner. He should be treating her with consideration and coming home to her at appropriate times. Whether or not she is entertaining, keeping up, or playing video games with him. He chose to marry her for who and what she is, right?
Similarly, the guy sounds quite boring too at this point, he isn't doing much for her but she understands that it is a companionship and is even afraid of demanding much from him.
Why do the women get told to change themselves at every opportunity and become more 'exciting' to keep their hubbies where they rightfully belong in the first place.
Re: who to trust
Wait wait!! It was a love marriage and She said that before marriage:
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i always knew he was a busy guy be4 marriage and i was fine with that.plus the tyme he shud hav spend with me after work he used to spend with friends and i neva complained as n i neva made him feel as if its a prb.
[/QUOTE]
So, yes there wasn't a sudden change after marriage. He is the same as he was before marriage. He was accepted as spouse LIKE THAT, so let us put aside the concept of wife being treated like a toy....etc.
She married him for who and what he was, and he is the same now. She is also the same, he doesn't expect her to do anything different than what she used to do before marriage. There is nothing wrong in being busy with work, but the time spent with friends needs to be dealt with. But hey, this problem should have been discussed before marriage. But even if it was not discussed, there is nothing wrong is starting to do something to increase more love in the relationship which definitely requires efforts, new innovations...etc. as most of you suggested. He is not initiating because he is not complaining. So the one who wants a change would have to do something "effective" about it.
Those who say that woman are not toys should realize that complaining doesn't get you anything except frustration. A sacrifice given now in initiating innovations in winning his heart would be paid later when he would come running after her. At least complaining to him would never make him excited to meet her too often because with no offense no one feels attracted to whiners no matter if it is a husband or wife.
Re: who to trust
always whining and sometimes complaing is different. then there is a "pyar bhara shikwa" too where u say wat u feel in a way that its listened.
but leaving a husband to do watever is not practical as well. similarly working and over working is different.
since she never complains he thinks he's doing the right thing. he thinks he's still a bachelor with no responsibility towards a wife or a kid. he thinks i'm earning and paying for all they need. my job is done.
even if he doesn't spend much time with her wat about their son? doesn't a child need a dad as much as a mom.
candy u can use for son as an excuse to make him spend time with u guys. instead of asking time for urself ask it for him n this way u all can spend family time.
yes u guys are rite thank you guys i hav spoken to him clearly he has said he neva realised and will try his best to work things out and its not like he duznt miss me n think bout me when away frm me but da way things are he neva felt that i eva had a prb i hope things get fine he has left for london i hope things are better when he is bak thanks guppies means a lot to me