I was reviewing a thread in Life1 where people were saying it’s unbecoming for a woman to smoke because it negatively impacts the child.
Take my household for example, a very typical desi family…mom dad 2 kids. Dad goes to work. Mom stays home, works part-time, takes care of kids primary needs such as food and clothing and health and homework and Quran. My kids stand next to me when doing namaz, we go shopping together, swim lessons together, doctors appointments and dentist visits. Dad spends quality time with the kids as well. Is a great provider, makes sure he can pitch in to homely affairs when needed, helps out with math, goes on bike rides with them, …well you get the drift.
I think my kids are influenced by both of us for I often see them saying “dad said not to do this” or “dad doesn’t finish his food on the plate so why should I?” They also follow me and my style of doing things like my older one yells at my little one the exact same way I yell at her :D.
Who do you think is more influential in shaping a child’s value system?
For me personally My father more so than my mother because I am not that close to my mum even though my dad works and mum works part time.
Also when i was younger around 3 and my brother was born he was quite an ill child until the age of 6-7 and my mum had to give him alot of time and I kind of had to fend for myself and my dad used to make sure he gave me alot of time when he came home from work so I guess thats why for me its my dad.
Its whoever you spend most of your time with growing up.
The mother has an edge (especially if she is a stay at home mom) but all of it goes to waste if the father isn't living up to the "value system" that the mother is instilling in the child. That argument really didn't make sense.
And personally, I've probably spent only 20% or even less of all my life living with my dad. Yet, my ways/values are much more like his than like mom's.
I think a Mother plays a vital role in a child's upbringing, obviously the Father does too. But majority of it comes down to the Mother as she spends most of her time with the child.
There's usually one parent who you spend the most time with, who keeps an eye on you, and nags you to make sure that you're doing what you need to do. The one whose example you follow on a daily basis. That's one kind of influence.
But the other parent is often the one who you don't want to disappoint. The one whose change in tone can scare the crap out of you or fill you with pride. The one whose overall approach you want to emulate as well. That's another kind of influence.
Both parents.
As my daughter's pediatrician was once asking me some questions about her and said that 'I had more control'....meaning since I spend the entire day with my daughter so I influence her more.I will be the one most likely to make her do as I want and she will be following what I do.
(Atleast of now when she is a year old..!)
Mom, Dad or both?