Who pays for what?

well thats not necessarily true. my husband paid for the whole valima himself except for some jewelry that his father insisted on paying for. even then, my husband paid for the engagement ring himself and flying over half of his khandan from isb to khi and hes only 25, and flying his immediate family from ny to isb to khi and back.

and i think counting the guy seperately from his family is important. cuz the parents of the guys do have savings from working for so many years as opposed to the groom who is spending his own cash and might not have that much in savings since he might only be working for 2-5 yrs before getting married.